The North Remembers
by Allways-happy
Summary: Lillian Falls was from a noble home in the North before it fell to rubble. Lord Eddard Stark took in Lillian and her two younger sibling raising them as his own. They say the North remembers and for a Northerner Lillian refuses to forget her pain, tragedy, love and family! - *contains Language and sex scenes!* AU. (BEING REWRITTEN/EDITED)
1. Chapter 1

_**I do not own Game of thrones this world belongs to George R R Martin,**_ , **David Benioff and D. B. Weiss. This story is my first and hopefully you like it the characters are not as they would seem in the book and Tv show i have made them different. Hope thats okay anyways please enjoys.  
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 _The sun rose shinning off the mountain causing those who looked at it to squint their eyes. Grant watched over his little sister who was rolling down the hill, laughter following her as she tumbled to the bottom._

 _"Are you going to tell her?" Grant looked up at his father a man he worshipped his entire life. He was leaving everything behind, everything his birth entitled him too and most importantly the one he promised to protect and never leave her side._

 _Grant squinted up at his father "Am I doing the right thing?" He muttered unsure "I'd be leaving so much behind, you, mum, Twins, Lillian…. our home"_

 _Derik was the Lord of castle Falls. They're the closest to the wall in the north and know what it's like to feel ice tickle their noses and kiss their cheeks "Grant for years you have been climbing that wall, sneaking around castle black" he took a deep breath "you know your mother is no lady, you know of her secret she taught you how to climb that wall"_

 _"I know" grant huffed "just"_

 _"You made the choice son and I will never stand in the way of your heart, we will miss you and count the down the days until we see you again but if she will not come here and is having your child then you must go to her…. be with her and raise that child to climb wall and see its grandparents" Lord Derik bumped shoulders with his son._

 _"She going to hate me, she won't understand!" Grant Signed "I made my word to her and you know-"_

 _"Grant…If I know your sister, I know she will let you go, She will understand but I think you need to tell her before you leave in the morning she would never forgive you if you left without a goodbye"_

 _"Father…. Grant" Lillian came running up the bottom of her dress dirty and ripped "Come play" she smiled._

 _"Thought you were playing with Ramsay" Lord Derik smirked_

 _Lillian rolled her bright blue eyes letting our a huff "we need more players…. Come on"_

 _"I should probably check on your mother Lillian"_

 _"Father she is probably sleeping with the twins, they have been making her tired a lot lately plus the Maester with her" Lord Derik stared at his eldest daughter, his second child._

 _Lillian was a lot like her mother, a free spirit, blue ocean eyes, brown hair and a smile that could make death smile, it was contagious and like the moment he held his daughter he was engrossed in his daughter, wrapped tight around her finger. Very much like her mother Lady Mary._

 _"What are we playing?" Grant asked a smile upon his cheek_

 _"Tip and you're in" Lillian smiled patting Grant arm as she ran off "Run Ramsay Grant in" the sounds of laughter filled the grounds._

 _The sun was slowly falling from the sky and the cold night air began to nip at their skins "Okay, Okay" Lord Derik Laughed coming to a halt "Its night time, I am hungry and Ramsay your father was expecting you back ages ago"_

 _"Dad will probably get mad" Ramsay signed looking at his shoes_

 _"No he won't Ramsay" Lord Derik Smiled "Roth…Roth"_

 _"Yes my Lord" Roth came up to the Lord_

 _"Roth take Ramsay home. Tell Lord Bolton I needed Ramsay help and apologies for him being late home. It was nice to see you again" Derik smiled ruffling Ramsay hair up "Thanks for keeping troublemaker busy"_

 _"You're welcome milord, thanks for having me" Ramsay nodded "Bye Lillian"_

 _Lillian hugged her childhood best friend tightly "bye Ramsay, next time I'll come to you" Lillian smiled letting go off Ramsay. They stood at the gates as Ramsay rode off with a falls soldier by his side._

 _"I'm going inside" lord Derik nodded at his son who nodded back "I NEED FOOD, MY CHILDREN DRAINED ME, SOMEONE FEED ME" Lord Derik Yelled in a joking manner._

 _"Husband what are you yelling for" Grant and Lillian stared at their mother at the entry holding the twin in her arms. Even after giving birth too two children she was still beautiful._

 _"Those two made me play and I'm hungry," Lord Derik laughed pointing too the two elder children as he helped by grabbing Brent from Mary arms._

 _"Than lets get you feed my Lord" Lady Mary smiled._

 _"Women after my own heart" Lord Derik smiled_

 _Grant looked at his Parents they were so in love, he understood what it meant to love someone, to miss them to ache for them "Come on" Grant picked up his little sister and walked up the tower where no one else was_

 _"Grant put me down!" Lillian laughed as her hands drummed on his back. Grant put her down kneeling to her height "Grant what is it?" Lillian frowned concerned._

 _"I'm leaving tomorrow"_

 _"Where?" Lillian stared her heart beating as she waited to hear the bad news._

 _Grant looked at his hand "remember that girl?"_

 _"The one you like on the other-"_

 _"Yes" Grant nodded cutting his little sister off "I love her she means a lot to me and well I spoke to mother and father and told them"_

 _Lillian eyes began to water "you're going to the wall" she whispered "and not coming back this time, you're going north to be with her, to become a wildling"_

 _"Lillian we're-"_

 _Grant huffed wrapping Lillian in a hug. Lillian cried into his chest she knew what this was she knew this was goodbye "lily" Grant whispered._

 _"Are you sure?" Lillian asked staring at her brother_

 _"More sure than anything" Grant nodded_

 _Lillian sucked up all her sad emotions "than you must be with her?" Lily sniffed her tears_

 _"Lillian leaving you will be one of the most difficult thing I will face. You're my little sister, my best friend and I gave my word I'd always be there and I'd always protect you and-"_

 _"And your word to me is that you'd stay and if I asked you too you would" Grant nodded sadly " then you're to go over that wall and be with her you will always have me, love is once in a lifetime" Grant stared at his baby sister._

 _"You've grown over night," Grant wiped Lillian tear that fell down her cheek "she's pregnant"_

 _"Then I know for sure you must go now"_

 _Grant and Lillian spent a long time talking and catching up before they knew it Lillian had fallen asleep in her brother arms. Grant lifted his baby sister carrying her to his chest._

 _Placing Lillian in her bed he left a note kissing her forehead before backing out "love you Lillian" with that Grant said his goodbyes to his parents, siblings he'll never see grow up and headed to the wall to climb._

… _._

They say the north always remembers. It's a quote known by every Northman and their bloody horses. It speaks truth beyond compare. I sat pulling my arrow back and releasing it into the target.

I smiled as it hit the target the twin clapping from beside me, turning I looked at them "Thank you, Thank you" I chuckled bowing.

"Again, Again" Nadine yelled

Smirking I pulled back another arrow "Steady" My father yelled, turning I looked at him as he walked over a smile on his face. Biting my lip I took a deep breath turning I released the arrow and hit the arrow splitting it in two "Seven hells" Father scoffed.

"Dad" I smiled pointing, "Did you-" The sound of screams buried my happiness; turning arrow flew just missing out feet.

Running over to the twins I picked Nadine up as father grabbed Brent pushing me to run faster "Father what's going on?" I yelled fear striking through me. Before I knew it my father had thrown me on his horse putting Nadine and Brent in my arms wrapping rope around them "Father?"

"Hold onto them Lillian" he begged kissing the twins and than me "Ride to Winterfell you know the way, Tell Lord Stark" he nodded.

"Father"

"Go Lillian please I love you, I love you all" My father eye begged with hope as he tied my bow and arrows to the saddle "RIDE LILLIAN" he yelled as he turned people coming near him his sword drawn.

Kicking my horse I began to move holding onto the twins was hard, they cried as we rode. Not use to riding so fast. I rode past the intruders dodging the bodies. I've never felt more tired and warn out when night fell and I had finally reached Winterfell.

The gate was down as I reached Lord Stark keep "I need Lord Stark. My name is Lady Lillian Falls please" I begged my throat sore from the cold wind.

"Lady Lillian Falls" the guard repeated shocked "Open the gate, Get lord Stark out of his quarters state the emergency" the soldier yelled as he reached up "Pass me them" he whispered as I passed him a sleeping Nadine and Brent.

Sliding off my father horse I slipped in the mud, taking a deep breath I helped myself up, pain radiating through my legs they were numb from all the riding "LADY FALLS" Lord Stark booming voice hit my ears.

He collapsed catching me before I fell again, my knees were wobbly, I was tired and weak "Tell me Lily what's wrong?"

"Ambush" I whispered painfully "Unknown man have taken the castle"

Lord Stark eyes held worry "ROUND THE SOLDIERS AND READY THE HORSES" he yelled "Jon come here" he whispered to a boy the same age if not maybe just older than me "Take Lillian inside" Jon held my weight and began moving.

"Lord Stark" I called stopping and standing

"I will try" he nodded ""Wife" he turned to lady stark "please care for the children I will return" he nodded jumping up on his horse and riding hard and fast out of the Keep.

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	2. Chapter 2

Every time I think of them a dark shadow clouds over me, the wind blows and everything goes quiet. I remember their faces how they looked what our last happy memory was.

When Lord Stark returned with the words 'I'm Sorry Lady Falls' my knees buckled, my throat caught and I fell hard, I felt tears wanting to escape but never did, anger boiling up but never expressed.

It was a cold day a part of me broke apart I grew silent, I didn't smile like I use too, I became distant. I was dedicated to training everyday to be ready for the day I saw his face again.

If I wasn't training I was riding to my once upon a home. It was nothing but fallen stone and chipped away family memories. Everyday I had found myself here staring up at the wall waiting, waiting for something anything. I begged Grant return that he would just return.

But years have passed the twins have grown and yet I beginning to forget what Grant looks like, in my mind I have an idea but the image is blurry. I signed as my finger slide along the wood that once held all our horses.

Bending down I fiddled with the name **Water,** it was the only horse to survive the attack, and it was my fathers. Lord Stark never said who marched on our ground he said they held no banners.

I put Lord Stark through ringer raising me, he raised me as his own and he

Protected me. Taught me things he believed my father would want me to know. I trained in everything from archery, swords and hand-to-hand Combat.

Lord Eddard Stark has two elder sons Robb and Jon we would train together, hours before the sun rose and hours after it fell. I think it was something I needed because I know deep inside me I have hate and I was never hateful.

The twins Brent and Nadine grew up not knowing how great Lord Derik and Lady Mary was. They knew nothing of their eldest brother, which to them they believed died as well.

But today the cloud rained heavy on my heart. Today marked the day I buried them, the day I last sang, a pleasure I once enjoyed. I spend everyday wondering why I couldn't cry, why no tears fell from my eyes why still I am emotionless.

I sucked it up and helped raise my brother and sister who with the Winterfell influence have grown up better than I could do alone. I was grateful for Lord Eddard Stark, he picked me up gave me words I will never forget.

"The North Remembers and the North stands together" he said proudly.

He brought the only Sigil left unharmed and placed it beside his in the hall. That day I understood loyalty. I understood why my father and his father before him and so on swore loyalty to the Stark family.

I understood the Warden off the North couldn't save my family, I understood it was an all day ride and they couldn't reach them. But I respected him for going, for bringing armed man ready to fight.

Taking a seat near the old Weirwood tree I took a deep breath breathing in that fresh air "Lillian what are you doing out here all alone?" Looking up it was none other than the warden of the north himself.

I signed "today-"

"I know!" he signed, "I promised your father that I'd protect you three, treat you as my own…I never thought this place would fall" he signed looking out towards the stone "This was a place I grew up in with your father" he smirked

"And you have withheld your promise milord" I whispered

"Just wish they could see how strong you're, the way you grew up to be smart and beautiful" he signed "I just wished my old friends were here to see there children grow, I know I'm proud"

"You're?" I whispered

"Your Northerner from a noble family" he stated "I know it's all Rubble but this is your home as much as Winterfell is…. you're a northerner much my ground as it is yours"

Winterfell, the home of Lord Eddard Stark where the Direwolf banner hung proudly. A banner I knew, a banner I trusted. My father spoke highly of the Starks that he would die for them I never understood why anyone would die for someone else until my parents died to protect us.

Its love, loyalty, and friendship things you don't want to tarnish. He raised us as his own; he taught me things many girls didn't get to learn. God he even refuses his own daughter of learning such things I did.

"I remember the first month you stayed in Winterfell" he chuckled "You were so locked in your own mind"

Turning I looked at Lord Stark "I remember riding here a lot, remember you coming to get me every time"

"You gave Jory quite the exercise!" he laughed

I smirked "He loved it, plus kept him on his toes" I stared at my feet "I never thanked you, for taking us in for being patient with me" I looked up at him "thank you milord"

Lord stark stared at me before closing the gap between us, wrapping me in a big hug "you're welcome, use are like my own children to me"

Pulling away I found the crypt the only place left untouched where my family were buried, my grandparents and so on. I remember attending the funeral. The Starks attended too. Robb and Jon standing by my side for some reason they wanted to be there for me and ever since they haven't left my side.

They were older than me by a year, but that didn't stop them from talking to me, I was basically mute but everyday they'd come ask if I wanted to play. It took a total of a month time to get me to talk or crack a smile; they never truly gave up on me.

"I brought you something" Lord stark nodded

"You brought me something?" I questioned turning to look at Ned

"Yeah, something I've been waiting to give you and well I think today the day" he nodded pulling a large item from behind him out pulling the cloth of it "It was your father sword and his father and so on" he nodded "Now I know you favour the bow but this was your fathers and I know he would want you to have it"

"You're giving this to me not Brent?" I questioned, "He would be next in line for Castle Falls"

"Yes that's true but they wouldn't appreciate it like you would. If Grant was alive" I looked down "I would have given it to him"

"Thank you Milord"

"No problem Lillian…. I'm going to go but don't stay out here to long it's getting cold" Lord Stark got up kissing my forehead before leaving me on my own some.

I stared at my father sword with our house sigil; everyday since my 6th name day I have trained. In hand to hand combat, archery and sword work. My family were great weapon makers, a craft not many had.

Putting my father sword on my back. I walked out of the crypt into the cold air, my hand trailing on the stone where my castle gate once stood. Biting my lip I pulled my locket out. Every falls had one with the house sigil of a waterfall, the only Waterfall that didn't freeze in winter.

Standing up I headed to the waterfall. I stared at it watching the hot steam flow over the ice stones up the top. I never understood how it was so hot but I loved it, the smell was wonderful, it was home.

"Lillian" Looking up I saw someone I hadn't seen in a long time, he was different. His eyes didn't hold fun like it use too. It held hurt, pain and something I didn't understand.

"Ramsay?" I questioned

He smirked but it wasn't the same "H-How are you?"

"I'm okay and yourself?"

"Good yeah" he nodded

We stared at each other "What's wrong Ramsay?"

"Nothing, just you look so different you have boobs" he scratched the back of his head awkwardly "You're taller more well Lady" he wiggled his eyebrow playfully.

Rolling my eyes I pushed his shoulder "Yes…Come here" I smiled closing the gap I hugged my childhood friend. He was different I could see it in his eyes but he was always there for me.

"Truly missed you!" he mumbled into my hair gripping me tighter

"And I you…Ramsay" I mumbled back pulling away I stared at him "Feels like forever"

"Funeral" he nodded

"Yeah" I signed moving to foot to foot. I don't know why but an overwhelming awkwardness came over us, we had always been okay, just us but something was different something had changed.

"Why are you here?" I wondered

He held in what I'd call an evil smile "The hounds and I are hunting, we stumbled here and well forgot how beautiful this place truly was"

"The Hounds?" I questioned

"Ah yeah out in the forest, butcher and I are having a ball" he nodded

"I see" I nodded

"RAMSAY…. Um who is this" this chick had a bow in her hand a scrawl written on her face. She was glaring at me.

"Ah this Myranda sweetie is my dearest and bestest friend Lillian Falls"

"Mmm well the butcher is waiting" she nodded as she walked away

"Sorry she's um not very friendly" he nodded

"Is that your girlfriend" I smiled

"Something like that" he shrugged

"Well if you're happy than that's all that matters" I smiled

"I have missed you lily" he chuckled pulling me into another hug

I chuckled "I've missed you too, I should probably get back before its too late" I nodded "But don't be a stranger come visit sometime" I squeezed his hands "And bring Myranda if you like"

"I will" he chuckled "Be safe Lily I don't want to lose you ever" he nodded and for the first time he was his old self the one I knew. The one I use to play with all the time. He was Ramsay Snow I knew and loved. My best friend. 

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	3. Chapter 3

I rode fast too to Winterfell, my thoughts running wild at the sight of Ramsay, something was off and it didn't make sense, it was like a part of him was dark and it held dark secrets and his girlfriend well she was something I couldn't explain.

Shaking my head I finally made it back. I felt a chill go through me this was home this place raised me. Riding waters into the stables. I found Robb leaning up against wooden post a frown on his face.

Taking a deep breath I swung my leg of waters, my hand gliding over his black coat "Good boy" I praised as I stripped him off his saddle "Robb what is it?" I asked finally facing him.

"I have a question to ask you" he nodded firmly

"Well ask away Robb" pushing Robb back a little so he wasn't right in my face.

"Say I was to I don't know hit a farmer what would you say?" he asked

"Why? And who?"

"Okay Nadine was playing and he was picking on her and she came back in complete tears, now I don't know what was said but can I hit him?" Robb asked

Frowning I threw the brush I was using to clean waters to the ground. I began to take a step when Robb caught me by the arm pulling me back, I glared at him and his vice like grip.

"Lily she is with the septa" I stopped my pulling I did not want to be dragged to see Septa Mordane. She was supposed to be sowing right now and learning to be a lady.

"Did he touch her?" I asked venom in his voice

"He wouldn't be breathing if he did Lily" Robb confirmed my thoughts. 

Since we moved here the Starks and Falls were like brother and sister we protected each other and felt anger like a burning fire "I'll deal with it"

"Fine" he huffed "But I did see Brent talking to him after I went to check on Nadine"

"Maybe I don't have too" I shrugged, Brent was very protective of his twin, when they grew up it was hard for him to accept that she was liking boys but Ethan was his friend and we all knew the lovebirds would be together and Brent would kill him if he hurt her.

"So um where Jon?" I wondered

"Oh Jon" Robb taunted

"Robert" I glared

"Mother gave him some evil eyes and choice words, he went out I haven't seen him since" Robb signed

"I see"

"Fear mother will never accept Jon" he signed, "Its hatred I can't explain"

"I've noticed for many years, but I just think every time she looks at Jon she just see's your father betrayal to her" I shrugged "You can't blame her but you can't agree with her. It's a double edge sword but as long as you and your sibling accept him and love him as your own than it shall not matter"

"You so love Jon" Robb mocked giving me kissing faces. Rolling my eyes I punched Robb hard in the arm "Ouch that hurt"

"Than be quiet" I smirked

Robb nodded "Come on Septa sent for you"

"Oh you tricked me!" I pointed out taking a step back but Robb grabbed both my arms stopping my escape "Please no I do not wish to needlework any longer" I signed, "It is no fun I am not Sansa it does not bring me joy"

"Oh I've noticed but she will sniff you out you know that" letting out an over dramatic huff Robb began pushing against my back forcing me to walk "No, please no" I groaned

"Move it m' lady"

"Shut up Milord" I taunted back

I allowed Robb to push me all the way inside the keep "Hey Lillian" Bran Smiled brightly at me.

"Hey Bran what you doing?" I asked ruffling his brown locks

"His practicing" Jon nodded handing him some arrows "Which reminds me Septa is looking for you"

"Oh god" I signed rolling my eyes "You two are the same annoying old hags, sure you want these old bats teaching you Bran, you know I'm a better archer" I smirked.

"Go" Robb and Jon said together

"I'll be in here Bran when you want a real teacher" I winked

Taking a seat next to Sansa who smiled kindly at me but than continued to sow. Sansa was in a fairy tale she hadn't been brushed yet with the harshness that is death, she lived in a fairy tale were she wished to marry a prince and become queen. I didn't see life as so pure, so simple.

I could hear the laughter from Jon and Robb and a frustrated huff from Brann. Learning archery isn't easy and the boys were good with a sword yes hands down but an arrow not so much.

Turning my head I found my little sister she was sad with a tear stained cheek, she reminded me of mother she looked just like her. I might let Robb hit this kid or scare him at least.

"I am over this" Arya signed as she shook her finger from pricking it.

"Arya why this is so much fun" I rolled my eyes causing Arya to laugh at my mockery.

"Ladies" Septa Mordane hissed

"Is this not a loss cause yet?" I asked

"No" she shook her head "I pray every day you two will show up on time" she stared pointedly at me "Lead by example Lady Falls"

"But what fun would that be" I smirked

"Lily" Nadine signed, "Please stop causing Septa Mordane grief" it was hard to believe Nadine was my sister; she was so innocent, so kind. She seen the good in everyone and tried to help them. Ethan would be lucky to have a lady like Nadine beside him.

"Lillian you've pricked yourself my darling" looking down my hand was dripping with blood. Septa passed me a cloth.

"Thank you" I smiled

"Pleasure…go on" She shook her head knowing I wanted to escape. Slipping her a cheeky smile she mirrored my expression standing I pressed the clothe to my finger as I walked out of my lesson my eyes found Lord and Lady Stark as they watched Bran try again and again and fail.

The boy's encouragement wasn't nice "Guys help him" I called out, giving both elder brothers a look of disapproval.

"Yes. Help him. I don't remember anyone of you being a marksmen at ten" Ned spoke "Keep Practicing Bran. Go on" Bran nodded and I watched a shadow go over Jon eyes I knew that look.

"Don't think to much Bran" Jon instructed

"Relax your bow arm" Robb encouraged

Bran pulled back the arrow but I felt wind pass my ear, shaking my head I turned to see Arya taking a curtsied, fit of laughter's erupting in the cold winds as her arrow bounced in the middle of the target "Run Arya" I smirked as Bran took off after her.

"Quick, Bran Faster" Jon and Robb yelled as the two youngest stark siblings chased each other around the grounds.

Smirking I walked up to Jon and Robb taking the bow from Robb hand I picked up the arrow, pulling back I quickly released it, watching it glide smoothly piercing straight through Arya arrow splitting it in two.

"Told you it should be me teaching him" I smirked

"Show off" Robb chuckled

"Why are you bleeding?" Jon grabbed my hand "What have you done?"

"Jon" holding onto his hand "I am fine" nodding I stepped back "You better go"

It was like I was one step forward three steps back it was ridiculous, I watched them leave this time with Bran by their side. He was a little too young to see such things and I could only imagine Lady Stark worry "Have you told him?"

Turning my head to Brent "Told whom what?"

"Jon that you love him" I starred at my younger brother

"Like a brother, he knows"

"Lily"

"Brent" I starred at him

Brent signed "Whatever"

"What happened with Nadine?" I asked my eyes going to her

"Nothing" He signed "He was teasing her about Ethan"

"Ethan as in Ethan Forrester?" I wondered

"Yep" he popped the P "Farmer boy likes her, she likes Ethan he found out"

"Ah I see" I nodded

"Is that?" Brent pointed to my back

"Ah yeah" Pulling the sword out he stared at it "Lord Stark gave it to me"

"Nice" he nodded hurt in his tone

"Walk with me" I nodded. Brent frowned but followed anyways, when we made it to my bedchambers. I placed my father large sword on the bed and pulled out something I hadn't touched in a long time "This was Dad's"

"I've never"

"Seen it I know it's a bit broken but I can fix it if you like and than it's yours" I smiled passing him the bow

"No it's yours I didn't know him" Brent shook his head, his eyes filled with sorrow.

"You did you just can't remember and yes I was getting it fixed for you anyways, I promise now I have to go see Nadine" Walking out of my bedchambers I walked to Nadine knocking a few times

"Come in" Walking in "Oh Lillian hi…what can I do for you?"

"Want to tell me what happened?" I wondered taking a seat

"He heard Sansa and I talking about Ethan"

I smirked "His jealous"

"Robb wanted to kill him"

"Oh I know but you can't kill the farmer boy because his jealous sweetie" I shrugged "But don't cry please ever, no one deserves to see you cry, you're stronger than that"

The sound of consistent knocking hit my ears, raising an eyebrow I got up and opened Nadine Door "Hey you busy?" Jon asked

"No she's not take her" Nadine called out

"Over my sisterly talk already," I asked mock offended

"Sure am" She called pushing me out the door.

My body collided with Jon chest his chuckle vibrating through me. I pulled back but Jon steady hand held me "You okay?" he whispered his brown eyes causing my heart to melt.

"Yeah" I whispered pulling back his arm slipped from my shoulders and I missed the warmth instantly.

"Come on" Jon smiled gripping my hand and dragging me through the corridor of Winterfell castle.

"Jon" I whined as he continued to drag me it wasn't long until I collided with his back as he opened the door to his bed chambers "What am I doing in he-"

I stopped when I saw what Jon was pointing at; two wolves lay in front of the fire. Raising an eyebrow I approached them slowly "Wolves?" I questioned kneeling as my hand rubbed the white and black fur of both wolves.

"Direwolves" Jon corrected

I frowned turning to stare at Jon "Sorry?"

"They're Direwolves" Jon confirmed walking over taking a seat next to me.

"So North of the wall?" I asked shocked

"We found it with its dead mother, took a run in with a stag and both died. The pups though survived"

"How many?" I asked

"9 pups"

"9" I asked shocked

"Yes the black one is yours, father said you're to feed it yourself, train it yourself and if it dies bury it yourself" he nodded "Brent received one too"

"What of Theon?" I asked know Jon and the stark members would have the other "He did not receive one?"

"No, Father demanded that the three left go to the falls family" Jon nodded

"Theon wouldn't be happy"

"Theon wanted to kill them" Jon pointed out "Plus direwolf are dangerous lately Theon has been-"

"Theon" I nodded

"Right" he pressed his lips together "So what are you going to name him?"

Smirking I picked up my pup lying on my back my head in Jon Lap "Oh so many names, so many names"

Jon grabbed the side of my head causing me to look up into his brown eyes "Pick any name his yours" Jon Whispered

Moments like this where I fall for him, we been like this numerous times but inside I'm too broken and too scared to admit how I feel I almost did once but I saw him with the red head whore from the whore house. God I hate her.

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	4. Chapter 4

Today I had to dress up fancy in my best northern dress to welcome the king and queen. Did I really feel like it? No, god I didn't want them here but Ned word is law here!

"Oh smile Lil" Looking up I saw Ned "Not all that bad"

"Hmm will see" I smirked "You're not the one wearing this tight dress"

"Thank god, awful sight that be" Catelyn smirked wrapping her arms around her husband "Have you see Bran?"

"If I know Bran I'd say probably climbing Milady" Catelyn nodded before walking to find him.

"Lillian I know you don't like the idea of them coming I don't blame you but I hope you don't find discomfort with them being here and if anyone I mean anyone touches you, please tell me" he nodded "You may not be my daughter but I'll always treat you as one"

"Thank you milord"

"Come on we've got things to do" he bumped my hip

"Don't seem to happy they'll notice"

"I my Lady" Walking with the lord I stood next to Jon who stood next to Theon and beside Theon the twins stood. We watched as one by one the king's guard came into our home.

When King Robert stepped out we all dropped to our knees, When King Robert finally got his huge self off the horse he approached Ned, gesturing to stand we waited for our lord to raise and followed in suit.

"Your grace" Ned nodded

I zoned out as they spoke, my eyes glancing over the guards that came and the stories I had heard. I was in my own mind when I felt my arm being pulled "What?" I snapped turning to the person who held my hand captured.

"They've left Lily, come on" Jon smirked

God did he have to be so charming and caring all the time "What I miss?"

"Not much" He shrugged "Want to go for a ride before dinner? Not that I'm welcomed but-"

"Sure" I said cutting him off "Love too"

Walking with Jon to the stables it was quiet, dead quiet. Saddling water I began to ride, Ghost and Shadow at our sides, laughing I kicked my father horse watching our wolf pups chase us, laughter in the air. These were the moments were I seen a part of the old me, I was carefree without a tortured past.

Coming to a stop we jumped off our horses "So you hear of the farmer boy?" Jon asked

"The farmer boy" I frowned confused tying the horse to the tree

"Ah yeah Brent punched him yesterday"

"Why? Wait I spoke to Brent he said nothing of the sorts" I pointed out

"Said and I quote make my sister cry again and it will be more than a bleeding nose you'll have to worry about" he smirked "He is beyond scary when it comes to Nadine"

"Well they are twins" I shrugged

Taking a seat Jon did the same behind me and I leant on his chest "Do you find it weird? Them all being here?" he questioned his hands drawing circles on my shoulder.

"He wants something, King Robert is not here for no reason, been 9 years he wants your father as his hand" I was determined with that being why he was here.

"You think?"

"I'm sure of it and I don't like having them here, Lannisters" I scrunched my nose up "They are something, I don't trust them"

Jon chuckled "You don't like many that aren't from the North" he smirked

"Hey I don't like the Whitehills" I pointed out

"Oh seven hells who does"

"Did you know Nadine likes Ethan?" I asked

"More than know, Ethan adores your sister and Nadine well she's head over toes for him"

"Seven Hells I thought it was a childish crush, I am getting blind" I scoffed "who does Brent like?"

"Touché subject" Jon whispered. Frowning I turned looking at him "Sansa he likes Sansa" he stated

"Seven hells I am blind" I shook my head "Sansa older though she will see him as her little brother" I signed because that what I you see when you look at me my thoughts screamed at Jon.

"We better go back you have a party to get ready for" Jon nodded

"Lady Stark use some excuse again to deny you?"

"Insult to the royal family" he whispered

"Sometimes I wish she'd swallow her pride and let you in" I signed turning to face him, I looked into his brown eyes "Know I care Jon I will always accept you, in my eyes you're not a bastard you are a Stark"

"Come on Lillian" Hated how he shut me out like that getting up I headed off to my horse letting out a little whistle and having Shadow follow me as I rode fast, Jon struggling to keep up.

 **Jon POV**

I watched Lillian ride fast, leaving me still standing, I had pissed her off great. Signing I saddled my horse and rode off after her. When we reached the stables I jumped off handing my horse to the stable boy.

"Lillian wait" Lillian was hard to read I've never seen her cry even when she's hurt she's silent. Grabbing her shoulders I turned her around "I fucked up didn't I?"

"I you did" she nodded "You're an idiot, I've got to go" Lillian pulled her arm from me and walked away.

"Lillian" I called out frustrated

"You're not a bastard I wish you knew that" Lillian shook her head going inside.

Heading to practice dummy I began hitting it with my sword, letting out my frustration hitting the bag over and over again with my sword. I was annoyed at myself for not being able to tell her how I feel.

"Is he dead" Turning to the sound of a voice I recognised

"Uncle Benjen" I smiled wrapping my arms around him in a hug

"You got bigger. I rode all day" he smirked "Didn't want to leave you along with the Lannisters. Why aren't you at the feast?"

I signed "Lady Stark thought it might insult the royal family to seat a bastard in their midst"

"Well, you're always welcome on the wall. No Bastard was ever refused a seat there"

"So take me with you when you go back" I begged

"Jon"

"Father will let me if you ask him, I know he will"

"The Wall isn't going anywhere"

"I'm ready to swear your oath!" I signed

"You don't understand what you'd be giving up. We have no families. None of us will ever father sons"

"I don't care about that" I huffed in frustration

"You might, if you knew what it meant. And if I remember didn't you have your eyes set on Lady Falls?" Benjen stared at me "Would you walk away from the one you love?"

"She doesn't love me, I'm a bastard she deserves better anyways"

"Well I don't think that be fair to swear oath without telling her how you feel" Uncle Benjen patted my back "I'd better get inside. Rescue your father from his guests. We'll talk later"

I watched Uncle Benjen leave for the Banquet, leaving me standing there if father say yes I'll go to the war and swear the oath of the night watchers.

"Your uncle's in the Night's Watch" Turning to the sound I looked at the imp, holding a drink in his hand.

"What you doing back here?" I frowned

"Preparing for a night with your family. I've always wanted to see the Wall"

"You're Tyrion Lannisters. The queen's brother?" I stated

"My greatest accomplishment. You – you're Ned Stark's bastard, aren't you?" I frowned looking away is that all I'll ever be known as Ned Stark Bastard.

"Did I offend you? Sorry. You are the bastard, though."

"Lord Eddard Stark is my father"

"And Lady Stark is not your mother. Making you a bastard. Let me give you some advice, bastard. Never forget what you are. The rest of the world will not. Wear it like armour. Then it can never be used to hurt you"

"What the hell do you know about being a bastard?"

"All dwarves are bastards in their fathers' eyes" I watched the imp take another sip before disappearing, frowning I grabbed my sword and let it all out on the dummy.

"Jon" Turning to the voice I know "Are you okay?"

"You are angry at me"

"Because you're stupid and think no one cares about you" Lillian frowned "I see you as I do and you get mad at that" she huffed in frustration.

"I'm going to the wall, I'm asking father than I'm taking the Oath," I told her my heart stinging as I did.

"Why?" she whispered

"Feel like I'd belong"

"Jon you can't"

"That it Lillian" Frowning I walked away from Lillian leaving her in the dark. I'm not going to let her talk me out of it. She deserves better, I will bite my tongue and say nothing to her. 

**Hey Guys!**

 **If you'd like me to continue this please review I'd appreciate it very much. And if use like it that much and review I'll post the next Chapter.**

 **Jeanette :)**


	5. Chapter 5

Since Jon told me his plans my heart broke into a million pieces I have walked around like the world has ended, going to sowing classes doing my lady like lesson. I even turned down Jory attempt to make me happy with sword practice.

Taking a deep breath Shadow and I walked the quiet ground of Winterfell was nice. Most of the man where off on a hunting trip. The sound of whining hit my ears, looking at Shadow he had ran off.

Picking up my dress I followed him only to feel my heart freeze "BRAN" I yelled running to him sliding in the mud where he laid. My heart pumped hard as I checked over him "Bran, Bran, Bran" I tried to wake him "Shadow get Lady Stark GO" I yelled watching my pup run off.

Placing my ear to his chest I could hear his slow heartbeat, looking up the tower did he fall? It made no sense he wasn't, his never fallen.

"Lillian what is it" Lady stark asked fear in her tone "LIL…. BRAN" she yelled collapsing

"I'll go grab Maester Luwin" I nodded knowing she wouldn't leave her little boy side. I ran fast ignoring the eyes of those whom had seen me. Knocking roughly on his chambers he opened the door "Maester Luwin"

"Lillian" he frowned

"Its Bran" he moved quickly following me as I rushed the old man.

...

I hated to be the one to tell Ned when he returned, telling the boys I never seen them move so quickly. I felt King Robb eyes on me when I told them but I nodded and left turning to be supportive to my family.

Since the day it happened I've sat in Bran room, the thought of loosing him broke my heart, it was already breaking from Jon it would completely snap in two if Bran died.

I couldn't help but think he didn't fall; I didn't want to think we had a traitor in our grounds but it's the only logical thing I could think. I trusted none of the royal family or guards near my family.

Biting my lip I sat in silence with Lady Stark "What is on your mind Lillian?" Lady Stark asked breaking the silence between us as she made her prayer wheel.

Staring at the fire that danced "Nothing to worry you milady…you have enough on your mind than to worry about me"

"Your ignoring Jon" she whispered, I pressed my lips together tightly not wanting to let my emotion out "You love him, you've loved him for a long time now and his leaving today"

Getting up I stared at Lady Stark the women who took me in when she didn't have too "I love him and his leaving" I shrugged "Excuse me Lady Stark" Nodding I got up passing the Queen "Your grace" I bowed my head. Queen Cersei simply faked a smile and walked passed me.

Walking into the keep I stared at Jon speaking to Jamie Lannister, I seen his eyes connect with mine, was this it was the story of us over, I always thought I'd marry Jon but now, now his taking the black.

It has been days since I've spoke to Jon, I hated feeling hurt and he promised me he'd never hurt me, that he'd always be there and now, today he rides for the wall "Come on Shadow" I whispered turning my back.

"Lillian" The sound of Jon calling my name made me walks faster, through the halls until I was running Shadow beside me, when I made it to my bedchambers I slammed the door leaning against it, tears freely flowing now for the first time in a very long time.

"Lillian" Jon deep voice hit my ears "Can I come in?"

"No I'm not proper" I spoke back

"Lillian" he signed through the door "Please I can't stand this, don't let this be our goodbye Lillian please I beg you"

Taking a deep breath I stepped off the door turning I opened it, his brown eyes stared at me examining me, he signed stepping forward, shaking my head I took a step back "No" I shook my head.

"No?" Jon questioned a wounded puppy look on his face "Lillian I leave soon, please" he begged

"If you leave it's all too real Jon" I shook my head "I don't think I can be me without you" I signed "I don't want you to go I'm begging you to not go" Shaking my head "Don't leave me Jon"

"I've never seen you cry" Jon whispered cupping my cheeks

"Yeah well don't leave" I shrugged stubbornly

"Lily" he signed wrapping his arms around me "I have too"

"Jon Please" I whispered into his chest "Don't"

"Why would you want me to stay Lily? Why?" Looking up at those big brown eyes, it was now or never, taking a deep breath I swallowed my pride.

"Because I love you and have loved you for six years now" I stated "I am in love with you Jon Snow can't you see that" I huffed pushing him "And you want to leave me to join a fucking wall" I yelled my emotion getting the better of me "A fucking wall Jon why?"

"Lily calm down"

It was to late all I felt was heat, my blood pumped to angry "Don't, don't you dare tell me to calm down Jon, this isn't fair" Jon wrapped me in his arms holding me to him, I felt his rough lips kiss my forehead and it was like everything calmed down "Say something, for fuck sakes speak Jon" I whispered looking up for the first time I saw Jon crying.

"I have loved you for a long time, I didn't know you felt the same way" he murmured "I didn't know and now" He huffed shaking his head "And Now I'm leaving"

"Don't go, stay!"

"I'm a man of my word…already said I was going"

"What about me Jon? You promised me you'd never leave my side"

"I will always be by your side Lily but I'm a bastard you are a Lady…You deserve better than me, you deserve-" I couldn't help myself I slapped him hard on the cheek.

"Don't tell me what I deserve Jon you have no right to play dictator of whom I shall love…God I fucking love you Jon Snow bastard or not when are you going to learn-"

Jon cut me off with his hand on my cheek and his rough lips on mine; closing my eyes I gripped at his furs, needing him to know I wanted him, our tongues danced like familiar friends. Coming up for air I stared into those dark brown eyes.

"Lillian"

"If you must go than give me this moment," I whispered, "Jon please" I nodded undoing the belt on my furs.

"You'd lie with a bastard?" he questioned,

"I'd lay with Jon Snow the man I love. Yes! So unless you'd like another slap, do me this last thing" His whole face softened and he was kissing me again my body sending tingles as it was forced back against my bed. I felt his body fall on mine, our tongue finding each other again.

I groaned in despair when Jon mouth left mine "shh" he whispered as his cold hands began undressing me, button by button; buckle until I was naked in front of him, his eyes soaking in my sights "Beautiful"

Before I could even reply my head was running wild as Jon lips were over my body, causing a moan to escape my body, my back to arch "Jon" I moaned eyes closed in Ecstasy.

"I've dreamt of this for a long time Lily" Opening my eyes I stared at him as he sat on my lower half of my body a smile on his face, one I've never seen before. Filled with lust and happiness "I love you" he whispered his tongue trailing down until he hit my core.

"Oh Seven hell" I moaned as I felt his tongue dance down there, I had never heard of a women getting kissed down there but I wasn't going to get him to stop. I shut my eyes as he continued, my lips parted letting out moans of enjoyment "Jon" I yelled.

I felt a wave come over me something I knew nothing about, Jon removed his tongue climbing up my body "Are you sure?"

"More than you know" I nodded

Jon moved off my body undressing himself, propping myself up I watched his clothes leave his body, my eyes trailing down his rock hard pale body, you could wash your clothes on that body.

"Are you sure?" he asked hovered over me

"Jon Snow darling shut up" grabbing around his neck I pressed him against me feeling his hard penis pressing on my thigh "I am sure" I reinsured him.

"Your so wet" he whispered in my ear "And you tasted so good"

"Fuck me" I whispered back my back arching again in need.

He slowly placed the tip of his penis inside of me, moving he slide in more causing us both to moan, looking into his brown eyes "I'm going to make love to you Lillian not fuck you"

I smiled biting my lip as he started to move slowly at first making me grip the bed sheets and before I knew it he was going faster, moans and grunts escaping both our lips.

Before I knew it I came tight around Jon and feeling liquid flow into me I could feel his penis pulsing within me. His body lying limp against mine "Thank you" I whispered.

"Lillian-"

"If you must go then go, if this is what you want and need so be it. But know that I love you and that I'll never love anyone as much as I love you" I cupped his cheek "and I swear if you die I will bring you back and slap you silly"

Jon chuckled before kissing my lips softly. It was like goodbye it was longing and filled with emotion "I will go to the wall to protect you, but know I love you Lillian Falls…Do not wait for me"

"I'd wait a thousand moons for you Jon Snow and than thousand more until we are with each other again" leaning forward I kissed him again tasting the salty kiss from our tears.

Pulling apart we both began to dress again leaving the bedchambers "Meet you at the stable" Nodding I walked out heading towards my horse, a sad smile on my face and a sore ache in between my legs.

"You okay?" Theon asked "You look-"

"I'm fine" I smiled as he helped carry my saddle "Thanks Theon"

"My pleasure" he nodded "Going to miss you guys around here!" he murmured

"Be back before you know it" nodding I hugged Theon "Be safe and write"

Stepping back Robb was walking fast towards me and before I could question anything I was pulled tightly in a bear hug, silence filled over us as we embraced what could be last hug in a long time "Protect the girls and your self" Robb muttered.

"Always" I whispered, "Watch over Brent please his hurting"

"Will do, I love you sister"

I smirked "Love you too Brother" pulling back Robb smiled at me a mixture of happiness and sadness.

Walking I found Brent and Nadine. Nadine asked if she could go to house Forrester for the year and I agreed, as did Lord Stark. If Ethan and Nadine were to be betrothed than they would need time together.

Wrapping my arms around them "Be good and enjoy yourself Nadine, do not get pregnant before you are married" I pointed at her "And tell the Forresters I said hello"

"Will do" Nadine signed, "I will miss you"

"And I you" I hugged tightly before pulling back "God you're growing so much" I smiled "Come on I'll help you up" cupping my hand together Nadine jumped up on her horse "Protect yourself" I whispered patting her ankle happy to feel the dagger I gave her a long time ago.

"I will" she smiled happily.

She was going with Jon, a year without seeing my sister or brother was something I didn't know I could cope with but they could visit I guess. Jon would never leave the wall.

"Watch over her" Brent whispered beside me

"Did you tell her?" I asked

"No" he shook his head "She loves him who I stand in the way…plus I've been told I am just a child" he rolled his eyes.

"Your better than him" I stated

"Yeah well your better than the Wall so I guess we can both grieve" he shrugged

"Visit me okay"

"I will, love you"

"Love you too Brent" Hugging my little brother I jumped on water and began to ride towards the others. Jon came sadder than when I left him. He nodded and I knew the pain.

"Why you have a bow Lillian?" Ned asked smirking.

"Just for hunting" I nodded

"Mmm" he nodded

Jon rode next to me, we were silent we knew what this was, the fork in the road was nearing "Give me a second" Lord Stark went with Jon and they spoke and hugged "Okay your up" nodding I rode to him.

Getting off my horse he followed my movement, grabbing his shirt I kissed him one last time, putting everything I felt into it. Pulling back our foreheads touching "I love you Jon Snow"

"And I love you Lillian Falls" his kinder lips touched my forehead and just like a soft spot within me tears began to fall "I will die at the wall a happy man knowing the girl I loved, loved me back"

"Don't die!" I whispered,

"I don't plan too" his hand creased my cheek "Go, I'll make sure Nadine is safe with the Forresters I promise"

"Here" I whispered passing over my family locket

"Lillian I can't" Jon shook his head "I know how important this is to you"

"Just as important as you are to me...Please, take it that way I am with you in some way" I shrugged

"Okay" Jon nodded "And for the capital" he passed me a dagger. Nodding I hide it in my top before the royal camp seen it

Biting the inside of my gums I bent down "Protect him Ghost" I whispered rubbing his head, he barked in response "That's a good boy" Jon helped me up onto my horse "Goodbye Jon"

"Goodbye Lillian"

"Jon" I stopped him

"Lillian" he nodded

"I can't live without you so don't die"

"Be safe"

It took everything within me to ride away from Jon when I rode back Ned saw it all "Why didn't you tell me I would of said no to the wall"

"He wanted to go" I shrugged "Forgive my sad glum look, my lord"

"As long as you forgive mine" he forced a smile.

I separated myself from Ned and the king and just rode in silence; my heart ached more than being in bed for the first time. Reaching into my furs I felt a parchment frowning I decided to read it later that I had cried enough already.


	6. Chapter 6

We set up camp for the night; the camp was filled with loudness from handmaidens, to slaves, soldiers. I escaped Jory watchful eye for some time alone. I had never left the North and I was heading head first into the south.

With Jon leaving and Bran not waking I felt as if leaving Winterfell was a bad idea, here I had to play the happy card and for days I hadn't even flinched a smile. Septa Mordane has asked me to smile more but I couldn't my thoughts were rushing and heart was breaking.

I wouldn't have left if Jon was there, I would rather be there but with Jon leaving and Ned begging I had said yes. How could I say no to my father? Breathing in the last of the northern air I stepped quietly around the tree.

My eye seeing the pig that was eating. Pulling my arrow out of my quiver I steady myself. Releasing the loud sound of squealing his my ear "Go get him boy" I smirked standing to my full height, watching Shadow going to get him.

"You're good" Turning my head

"Your Grace, I'm sorry I didn't see you there" I nodded

"Ned told me you could hit a target easily" he nodded ignoring my head bow

"I'm okay" I shrugged

"Shivery" he smirked "That pig was miles away"

"I your grace"

He smirked "So your good, makes sense your family made great weapons, perfect balance arrow I bet" he nodded grabbing one of the arrow, balancing it on his finger.

"Did it myself" I nodded

Shadow came back holding the pig "His a big wild pig"

"Maybe we can have him tonight" I thought

"That be good" he nodded "You loved the bastard"

I gulped back I didn't want to think about him, he was at the wall forever "love" I corrected "Have you ever loved someone so much it hurt your grace?"

"I Lady Lyanna I loved her more than breathing"

"Than you understand what its like to be apart from them, you know what its like to know they're alive but not with you" I looked at my bow "You burn for it but sadly you open your eyes and their not here"

"I, I know" he nodded "I'm sorry"

"He made the choice nothing I can do about it" I shrugged

"Walk with me?" he asked

"Sure" flinging my arrow on my back we walked not far before King Robert came to a stop "I knew your father, he was a loyal man, I was there the day he married your mother" he nodded "She was a fierce lady only women to join the war"

"She was good with a bow"

"Better with an axe" he nodded

"So I've been told" I smiled

"When I look in your eyes I see your mother but other than that you're him" King Robert smiled "If my first born had lived I would have married our houses together"

"I'm sorry for your loss your grace"

"I" he nodded "but I can happily find you a match in the south as a good will wish for your father"

"Ah not meaning any disrespect your grace…No" I shook my head "remember Lyanna" I asked he nodded "If she was alive would you marry your queen, would you want anything other than what your heart wished for?"

He chuckled "You make quite the point Lady Falls…. Shall we head back hand the pig over?" he asked

"Yes your grace"

"Lillian when its you and I call me Robert" he winked grabbing the pig and helping me tie it to the horse, he walked all the way back with me, I stayed off my father horse waters so I didn't harm or tire him any more.

Handing in the pig to the butcher family King Robert and I ran into Lord Stark "Where have you been?" he frowned "Jory said Water, Shadow and you were missing and-"

"I didn't run off, I went hunting"

"With King Robert?" he asked

"Ah well no he ambushed me" I smirked looking at King Robert

"She has a great eye, probably collect money in a tournament" he nodded

"I better go check on the girls and maybe walk passed a stressed out Jory" I nodded

"I" Ned nodded patting my back

"Thank you for the talk your grace"

"No thank you Milady" he nodded

Turning on my heels I let out a whistle Shadow by my feet. We walked around passing Jory who gave me a pissed off but happy annoyed facial he had mastered that over the years.

Mouthing sorry to Jory he nodded in response and went and talked to someone I didn't know, guessing the Kings Guards. I felt the parchment from inside my furs. Pulling it out I recognised the handwriting.

Shadow walked by my side as I stared at my name on the front "This is hard Shadow" I murmured only o be drown out by the sound of screaming. Shadow ran off when he heard, frowning I chased after, running down the hill to the lake.

I watched Joffrey swing a sword at Arya, running down the hill Nymeria bite prince Joffrey hand. Shadow going for the attack "Shadow no, sit!" I yelled Shadow sat back "Come here" Shadow return to my side.

Arya stood over Joffrey his own sword facing at his face "Arya, no" I shook my head gripping at the Sword "Go find Nymeria" She nodded, stepping back I walked over to the lake tossing his sword in the river.

"My prince, my poor prince, look what they did to you. Stay here, I'll go back to the inn and bring help" Sansa spoke

"Then go! Don't touch me!" he snapped nursing his bleeding hand.

Bending down I ripped a bit of the end of my dress, grabbing his hand I pressed pressure on it seeing him wince "You ever wave a sword in Arya face again I will finish you" I squeezed his hard "sing like a little bird all you like, you do not scare me"

"Ah" he yelled in pain

"Understood"

"Yes, yes I'm sorry" letting go of his hand I helped him to his feet and began to carry him up the hill to the inn. Master took Joffrey as I took a step back. Coming back to my own tent "Arya here?" I asked Jory

"No" he frowned "Why? What happened?"

"Go look for her and bring her straight here, trust no Lannisters" I ordered

Jory nodded leaving the tent, pacing back and forth this isn't going to look well looking at Shadow I knew what had to be done, letting out a breath "Shadow run" walking out of the tent "Stay out of sight its not safe for you here go" I called out.

Shadow stared at me "Go be safe find me later but for now run, will meet again" patting his big head "Go" Just like that he was gone, running through the northern land.

….

I stared at Sansa in the tent until I heard the noise of the soldiers frowning I got up heading out the tent and too the inn were Arya was, I was so scared she had ran off I never ran so fast in my life.

Running into the inn I pushed passed the kings people where I found Lord Stark Hugging his youngest daughter tightly "Are you hurt?" he asked looking at his youngest daughter.

"No" Arya whispered, "I'm sorry"

"It's all right. What is the meaning of this? Why was my daughter not brought to me at once?" Lord Stark asked annoyed staring at his once best friend and his wife.

"How dare you speak to your King in that manner?" I stared at the queen, a frown on my face, grabbing Arya I held her back against my chest

"Quiet, woman. Sorry, Ned. I never meant to frighten the girl. But we need to get this business done quickly" I was satisfied with the queen being yelled at, but what business did they need to be told how much of a prick his son truly was?

"Your girl and that butcher's boy attacked my son. That animal of hers nearly tore his arm off" The queens spoke, Joffrey eyes connected with mine, standing behind mummy like she would save him if any harm came to Arya, seven hells couldn't hold me back.

"That's not true! She just... Bit him a little. He was hurting Mycah" Arya yelled, I held her back not wanting her to get hurt

"Joff told us what happened. You and that boy beat him with clubs while you set your wolf on him" She hissed

"That's not what happened" Arya yelled

"Yes it is! They all attacked me and threw my sword in the river" Joffrey yelled

"Liar!"

"Shut up!"

"Enough! He tells me one thing, she tells me another. Seven hells! What am I to make of this? Where's your other daughter, Ned?" King huffed

"In bed asleep" I jumped in

"She's not. Sansa, come here, darling" I watched Sansa walk through the inn she shouldn't be up at all. I frowned

"Now, child... Tell me what happened. Tell it all and tell it true. It's a great crime to lie to a King" Robert nodded

Sansa looked scared not that I blamed her. The room was filled with people waiting for judgment "I don't know. I don't remember. Everything happened so fast. I didn't see."

"Liar! Liar! Liar! Liar!" I couldn't hold Arya back as she jumped on Sansa head pulling her red hair whilst shouting at her.

"Arya!" Sansa yelled,

"Stop it! That's enough of that," Lord Stark yelled as we both jumped in between, lifting Arya.

"Liar! Liar! Liar!"

Lord Stark turned to Arya in my arms furiously "Stop! Arya!"

"She's as wild as that animal of hers. I want her punished" The Queen huffed

"Punished for sticking up for herself?" I questioned finally having enough

"Lillian" Lord Stark spoke

"I'm sorry Milord, my Grace but did Joffrey speak of drinking wine down by the lake, did he speak of cutting the butchers boy face with his sword a boy who was armed with wooden sticks playing swords with Arya?" I questioned

"No he did not" King Robert huffed staring at his son.

"How do I know your words aren't' a lie"

"Because it's a great crime to lie before the king" I starred at Cersei

"I want them punished" The queen huffed, loosing the battle.

"They're kids what would you have done as punishment whipped through the streets?" I asked "Kids fight sadly Prince Joffrey got hurt, which Arya is deeply sorry for"

"Joffrey will bear these scars for the rest of his life." Queen dead eyes found mine

"Than he'll have a great story to tell, prince Joffrey survived an attack from a Dire wolf" I shrugged "They'll write songs about it"

King Robert lifting his hand stopping me but my eyes never left the queen she knew her son was a liar and I understood protecting him but to this much depth no I didn't see it "You let that little girl disarm you? See to it that your daughter is disciplined. I'll do the same with my son"

Lord Stark nodded "Gladly, your Grace"

"And what of the dire wolf? What of the beast that savaged your son?" Queen Cersei was tying her best to cut us down.

"I'd forgot the damned wolf" Robert huffed turning to one of his soldiers

"We found no trace of the dire wolf, your Grace"

Robert shrugged "So be it."

Cersei smiled at me "We have another wolf, actually two"

"As you will" he nodded getting up to walk away.

"You can't mean it" Lord Stark frowned

"A dire wolf's no pet. Get her a dog. She'll be happier for it" The king nodded

"He doesn't mean Lady, does he? No, No, not Lady! Lady didn't bite anyone! She's good!" Sansa cried I forgot about Lady. Shadow was safe she wasn't here.

"Lady wasn't there!" I yelled,

"You leave her alone!"

Sansa grabbed her father "Stop them. Don't let them do it. Please! It wasn't Lady!" Sansa begged

Lord Stark turned to King Robert "Is this your command... your Grace?" King Robert signed before walking away.

"Where are the beast's?" Cersei asked

"Lady Sansa dire wolf is chained up outside, your Grace. We couldn't find Lady Lillian wolf"

"Where is your wolf?" The queen asked

"Looking for Nymeria, where I sent him probably miles away now" I stated

I watched her jaw clench "Ser Ilyn, do me the honour"

"No. Jory... Take the girls to their rooms. If it must be done, then I'll do it myself." Lord Stark nodded

"Is this some trick?" She hissed

"The wolf is of the north. She deserves better than a butcher" He nodded

I let Jory take us to the bed Arya angry with her sister for not sticking up for her and Sansa in tears over Lady. I pressed my lips together as I looked at the parchment "Lillian"

"I'm sorry for speaking out of term" I was pulled up and enclosed in a hug.

"Thank you for standing up speaking the truth and I know how hard today is, Leaving the twins…Jon" Lord Stark Whispered "why did you never tell me of your love for my son" he smiled softly

"I only just admitted it to him aloud"

"You may not be my daughter but I have known you all my life Lillian, I hope you know that I love you like a daughter and I will protect you, Nadine and Brent as my own"

I bite my lip "And I love you as a father if that okay"

He chuckled "That bloody okay with me…come on time to sleep we have long travels tomorrow"


	7. Chapter 7

You could hear the sounds of howls as we rode and I knew that sound it was Shadow. Smirking we pulled up to Kings Landing and I stared at the people my hand on the dagger Jon had given me. I didn't trust this city. Jory Rode by my side and we exchanged the same look.

The girls rode in a wagon not speaking to each other, they were fighting and all over Joffrey. I didn't understand why she would love him maybe I'm biased because I'd rather Sansa be with Brent.

We came to a halt. Jory following lord Stark as he jumped off his horse. I watched as Ned came to a halt in front of a man. He nodded before turning to us "Get the girls settled in. I'll be back in time for supper. And, Jory, you go with them"

"Yes, my Lord" Jory nodded

The Pageboy stared at Lord Stark looking him up and down "If you'd like to change into something more appropriate…" I had to hold my laughter; Lord Stark didn't care what he looked like in front of the small council.

We got off our horses handing them to our soldiers to put them away in the stables. Jory walked beside me as the septa spoke to the lady showing us our living quarters.

Kings Landing is warm it felt nice but it wasn't home and at least in the North I was closer to Jon. Finishing unpacking, I changed and bathed from the ride into something lighter.

Looking at the parchment I wanted to read it Taking a deep breath I opened the parchment "Lillian" Frowning I placed the parchment down and headed to the door "Time to eat" Septa nodded

Nodding I followed her I learnt a long time ago it was easier to go than to have her come again, she was very nagging majority of the time. Taking a seat at the table I began filling my plate as Arya stabbed the table over and over again with a knife.

Septa Mordane drummed her fingers on the table "Enough of that, young lady. Eat your food" And just like an explosion she went off.

"I'm practicing" Arya snapped

"Practicing for what?" Sansa asked annoyed

Arya starred Sansa dead in the eyes "The Prince" She spat

"Arya, stop!" Septa snapped

"He's a liar and a coward and he killed my friend"

Sansa rolled her eyes "The Hound killed your friend"

"The Hound does whatever the Prince tells him to do"

"You're an idiot"

"You're a liar. And if you told the truth, Mycah would be alive" Arya yelled back

"ENOUGH" I snapped "What done is done, now eat

"What's happening here?" Lord Stark asked

Septa Mordane singed "Arya would rather act like a beast than a lady"

"Go to your room. We'll speak later" Arya signed getting up and leaving the table, rolling my eyes I shoved some food into my mouth, which I got a death stare from Septa.

"What?" I asked annoyed

"Be a Lady!" she signed

"It's a dead cause you my as well give up" I shrugged

"Never I shall get you to chew 34 times before you swallow" she bumped my arm playfully.

"That's for you, love" Lord Stark placed a doll on the table to Sansa "The same doll maker makes all of Princess Myrcella's toys…Don't you like it?" he asked I felt the hurt in his voice he was trying to make up for Lady but it wasn't his fault he had to do it.

"I haven't played with dolls since I was eight" She snapped, "May I be excused?" She asked annoyed

"You haven't even eaten Sansa!" I pointed out

Eddard Stark touched my shoulder "It's all right. Go on."

"Which one you want to deal with?" I questioned

"Arya" he nodded fast

"The easier one fine" I signed picking up the chicken leg "Good luck" Kissing his forehead I walked down the hallway eating the chicken wing. I didn't bother to knock on Sansa door I just walked inside "Hey Starky Stark take a seat" I patted her bed.

"You can't-"

"Ah shh I talk you listen understand" she nodded "Now your father loves you, he stood up for you and you lied Sansa you did this. And in doing so I had to tell Shadow to leave" I frowned "You're so caught up in being queen that you're hurting those who stand with you"

"Lily"

"No Arya lost her friend, Joffrey attacked her, Nymeria was sent away and when you had a chance to be honest you refused and when the Queen decided to take Lady life for what happed Arya stood up for you and Lady" I frowned "And to make it worse you blame your father not fair Sansa" Passing her the doll "His sorry"

Getting up I headed to the door "Lily"

"Yeah"

"I'm sorry"

"Try saying sorry to Arya or your father"

"No not what I was apologizing for I'm Sorry about my idiot brother choosing the wall"

"And I'm sorry"

"For what?"

"For you choosing Joffrey over someone who loved you"

"What?" She frowned

"Brent he loves you and I'd be dam if I don't tell you before you throw yourself into this marriage you want so badly" with that I left Sansa. Rushing back to my chambers I locked the door grabbing that Parchment.

 _My Dearest Lillian,_

 _It's strange to think that I won't see you on a day-to-day basis. That I will see many moons but not see you. That I will watch sunsets and sunrises but nothing compared to your beautiful face._

 _I never thought you'd confess your love to me, I never thought that we share the moment we did that beautiful moment that will keep me warm in the cold nights of winter on the wall._

 _I need you know that I will live and die at this wall. That I am a man of my word and before I knew of you're feeling I was an outcast, a bastard and you a highborn Lady._

 _I never thought I would feel pain like seeing you cry for the first time, hearing that pain in your voice as you begged me to stay, leaving you is the hardest thing I will face but know this I love you._

 _I love you and you will forever be my love the only women I lay with the only women I care for but I need you to move on, to find a new love to marry and have children. Do not wait a thousand moons for me because I will die at this wall before than._

 _I am sorry for causing you such pain, I am sorry for leaving like I did but I do not regret telling you how I feel I do not regret our moment I just wish we weren't so scared to tell each other because if we did we wouldn't be apart. With you I always felt like I belonged, that I wasn't a bastard that I was Jon just Jon._

 _Be safe and trust no snake in Kings Landing. Smile, laugh and fight like a deranged bitch because that is whom I fell in love with. Crazy, insane, beautiful, strong Lady Lillian Falls no moment with you was ever wrong, you made my life better._

 _Yours Truly,_

 _Jon Snow._

I hugged the parchment to my chest and once again felt an unfamiliar tear fall down my cheek.


	8. Chapter 8

Living in kings landing was not easy, I was born in the north instead of waking to the cold breeze and the sun trying to fight through the clouds, I have the sun blistering through with no cloud in sight and no cooling breeze.

I stared out looking at the ocean no wave in sight and no boats wondering the horizon. Kings landing was beautiful in some corners and from afar spectacular. But when you come closer the smell of urine and blood hits you.

You begin to see all the snakes wondering through kings landing. I have heard the whispers, witness the backstabbing and noticed the spies. This place was a game and we were the pieces.

"Lady Falls" turning my head from where I was standing "I was informed of your loss"

"You know nothing of my loss Lord Baelish" I stared at him, the man who loved lady Stark who pined after her, still after all this time. I remember the stories.

"I've heard about the bastard you love"

"And I heard you like to involve yourself in things that don't concern you, you can play your little games with others but I will happily take your life if you try and play with mine or anyone I love"

Little finger laughed, "I was informed of your fury but I am not the enemy" his hand held up in surrender.

"Well than you should do well to speak of what you want instead of beating around the bush" I stared at him leaving no room for games "Why you think you're smart I beg to differ"

"How do you like Kings Landing"?

"Its warm but I prefer home"

"You do not like it?" he wondered

"What gave it away the happiness on my face?" I wondered

"You sure you're not Eddard Stark Child?" he asked humour in his voice

"I am" I nodded "Part Child, he raised me and as did Lady Stark do well to respect him, excuse me Lord Baelish" pushing passed him, I walked away leaving him to on his own.

Walking to our keep I found Jory sitting down having something to eat, taking a seat I put my head on the table "Can we go home yet?" I wondered

"I wish" Jory mumbled,

"What do we wish?" Lord Stark voice hit my ears as he entered our living quarters

"Nothing" I mumbled

"Lillian" he signed "Tell me"

Lifting my head I stared at him "Reckon King Robert will let you go and we can go home to Winterfell"

"Yeah I hate this place too kid"

"Kid?" I questioned, "I am a grown lady. Lord Stark" I joked

Jory scoffed "Yeah and I'm the royal king" he smirked throwing bread at me.

"Lord Forrester asked me about Nadine and Ethan" my ears rang at good news, turning my head away from Jory I looked at Ned, My smile matching his.

"Their betrothal?" I smirked

"Yes and I gave permission but I stated the wedding had to be approved by the Lady of House Falls"

"Me? Right well I approve love that kid"

"What about me Lady Falls who can I marry?" Jory asked

I smirked "You know who, certain lady back home that you fell in the hay with and lost all your clothes" I winked

"Oh in the Stables I remember" Lord Stark smirked playing along with me

Lord Stark and I watched Jory go red "Shut up" he mumbled

"Aww your blushing how cute" I pinched Jory cheeks

Jory rolled his eyes "I'm going now" he got up smirking "Hate you" he yelled walking towards the door.

"Love you Jory," I yelled as he walked out of the door his chuckle booming in the room before the door shut.

"You're mean" Lord Stark laughed

"You played along!" I pointed out

"Ah I did, what have you planned today?"

"Nothing" I signed,

"You can't just walk around lifeless Lillian" Ned signed

"I'm trying" I shrugged

Ned stared at me "You miss him?"

"I miss him, I miss everything about him," I confirmed

"Me too" he nodded "Have you heard from him?"

"He wrote me before we left but I don't know what to say and it's been weeks and still I have nothing" I signed shrugging my shoulders.

"It will come to you in due time" Ned patted my back passing me a piece of parchment "For when your ready"

 **Jon POV**

I stared up at the sky waiting for the practice to begin, waiting for everyone and as the cold tickled my nose all I thought was of Lillian. I haven't heard from her since I came here, she hadn't replied to my letter.

Was she okay? Did she meet someone? Was she mad at me? It burnt me to the core to think she'd be with someone else. I'd fight a war for her and die just to see her safe and happy. Ghost head bumped my hands, looking down I patted his head guess he was missing her too.

"Jon" Looking up at Grenn and Pyp, "Teach us" Smirking I got up grabbing the fake sword and shield. We began to practice and before we know it more people came out joining us.

"Leg, shoulder, leg. Left foot forward. Good. Now pivot as you deliver the stroke. Put all your weight behind it," I instructed

"What in seven hells is that?" Grenn asked, turning I saw a large man but not one who knew what he was doing.

"He'll need an eighth hell to fit him in." Pyp stated

I stood up straight my practice sword in the ground as I listened "Tell them your name" Alliser Throne signed

"Samwell Tarly, of Horn Hill. I mean, I was of Horn Hill. I've come to take the black"

"Come to take the black pudding" I rolled my eyes as Rast joke

Alliser Thorne signed, "Well, you couldn't be any worse than you look. See what he can do" Rast stepped up and began hitting to him, Sam whaled like a girl.

"I yield. Please, no more" Sam begged

"On your feet. Pick up your sword" Sam stayed on his feet which just angered Alliser "Hit him till he finds his feet. It seems they've run short of poachers and thieves down south. Now they send us squealing bloody pigs. Again, harder"

Rast continued to hit him stepping up Pyp stopped me. Shrugging him off, the whaling got too much "Enough! He yielded," I yelled helping Sam up throwing him behind me.

Alliser Thorne stared at me death in his eyes, this man truly hated me "Looks like the bastard's in love. All right then, lord Snow, you wish to defend your ladylove, let's make it an exercise. You two. Three of you ought to be sufficient to make lady piggy squeal. All you've got to do is get past the bastard"

I signed readying myself "Are you sure you want to do this?" I questioned

Grenn shook his head "No"

Rast moved forward, it was easy to knock him to the ground, Grenn followed and than Pyp and one by one I knocked them to the ground "Yield, yield. yield! I yield" Grenn yelled throwing his had up in surrender.

"We're done for today. Go clean the armoury. That's all you're good for" He spat at me walking away.

"Well fought!" Pyp smirked

"Piss off" Grenn frowned

"Did he hurt you?" Sam came up to concern in his voice, how did he not fight, why didn't he fight if he couldn't' this wasn't the place for him.

"I've had worse" I nodded remembering the scar on my hip from Lillian when she got me one time.

"You can call me Sam. If you want. My mother calls me Sam-"

"It's not going to get any easier, you know? You'll have to defend yourself" I cut him off

"Why didn't you get up and fight?" Grenn asked annoyed

"I wanted to. I just couldn't"

"Why not?"

"I'm a coward. My father always says so" he signed

I frowned "The Wall's no place for cowards" I was going to keep my promise to Lillian to not die, not before I seen her again.

"You're right. I'm sorry. I just... Wanted to thank you" Sam nodded before walking away, he was hurt and I felt bad.

"A bloody coward. People saw us talking to him. Now they'll think we're cowards too" Grenn spat angrily

"You're too stupid to be a coward" Pyp smirked trying to calm Grenn down

"You're too stupid to be a..."

"Quick now, before summer's over" Pyp laughed

Grenn charged at Pyp but he moved out of the way "Come on here" he yelled chasing after him. I stood in the yard annoyed and frustrated. I knew I had to protect Sam but it put me in a hard position.

Sat upon the wall on patrol, staring out North of the wall, it was beautiful sight but it was cold as shit, "Hello. Ser Alliser said I'm to be your new watch partner. I should warn you, I don't see all that well," Sam muttered

I signed watching him shake "Come stand by the fire. It's warmer"

"No, that's all right. I'm fine"

"You're not. You're freezing"

"I don't like high places" Sam confessed,

"You can't fight. You can't see. You're afraid of heights and almost everything else probably. What are you doing here, Sam?" I wondered

Sam signed "On the morning of my 18th name day, my father came to me. "You're almost a man now," he said, "but you're not worthy of my land and title. Tomorrow, you're going to take the black, forsake all claims to your inheritance and start north. If you do not," he said, "then we'll have a hunt and somewhere in these woods your horse will stumble and you'll be thrown from your saddle to die. Or so I'll tell your mother. Nothing would please me more" I stared at Sam

He didn't belong and I understood what that felt like, I knew than that I would protect him regardless of the outcome. "Ser Alliser's going to make me fight again tomorrow, isn't he?" Sam asked after a while

"Yes, he is" I nodded

"I'm not going to get any better, you know?"

I smirked "Well… You can't get any worse" Sam and I laughed.

 **Lillian POV**

I found myself walking again, I had read letters from Nadine and Brent, even replied but the parchment I was stuck on held three words. **My beloved Jon** that's it three words.

It doesn't make sense why couldn't I confess to him, I wanted to hear from him but I know Jon he won't write unless I do but how do you do it, what would I say I'm heart broken? I miss you? What?

"Lillian" Turning I looked at Arya "Can you practice with me?"

"Practice?" I questioned,

"Dad letting me practice with my sword and I wanted to get some more practice in please" Nodding I followed her. Arya passed me the wooden stick I was impressed to see her holding it with one hand, not strongly but non-the less holding it.

We bowed and than Arya advanced. Her feet gave her movements away and I was able to block her advance "You're rushing" I pointed out "And showing me your game plan"

"What?" She frowned

"Your feet are predicting your next move sweetie, sword work is like dancing"

"Water dance"

"Ah your teacher is from Bravos" I smirked

"Ah yes" she nodded "you'd like him"

"I bet…Now come on" hitting her sword we began to dance a sense of home coming over me as we hit wood on wood, I hadn't practiced since I got here I was damned to wearing bloody dresses which lets be honest isn't me.

"Lillian, are you okay? You look sick?" Arya asked

"I feel it" I nodded feeling ill all of sudden

"Want me to get septa?" Arya panicked

"No seven hells no just pass me that bucket"

 **Jon POV**

After sticking up for Sam I found myself cleaning tables in the hall with no other than Samwell Tarly himself.

"I know for a fact that some of the officers go to that brothel in Mole's Town" Sam spoke annoyed

"I wouldn't doubt it"

"Don't you think it's a little bit unfair? Making us take our vows while they sneak off for a little sally on the side"

"Sally on the side?" I smirked at his choice of words

"It's silly, isn't it? What, we can't defend the Wall unless we're celibate? It's absurd"

"I didn't think you'd be so upset about it"

"Why not? Because I'm fat? But I like girls just as much as you do. They might not like me as much. I've never... been with one. You've probably had hundreds" Sam signed annoyed.

"As a matter of fact, I've only had one"

"I find that hard to believe…. One?" he questioned

"I…just before we came here, the girl I love admitted she loved me all along, we were both too stupid to admit it and it took until I gave my word about coming here until we admitted it" I signed looking at my hands.

"Love?" Sam questioned "what her name?"

"Lillian Falls" I nodded "Lady Lillian Falls"

"A highborn"

"Yes a high born"

"What was it like?"

"Ah she's amazing, tongue sharper than a sword, eyes blue than the ocean, brown wavy hair" I signed leaning against the table "When her castle fell and was taken my father took her in…She's the only girl that ever made me feel welcomed"

"Jon I asked what was it like not her" Sam laughed

"Its indescribable especially with someone you love"

"Why you take so long to tell her? And than you leave her for this why?"

"What's my name?" I questioned

"Jon Snow?"

"And why is my surname Snow?"

Sam signed "Because... You're a bastard from the north"

"I never met my mother. My father wouldn't even tell me her name. I don't know if she's living or dead. I don't know if she's a noblewoman or a fisherman's wife... Or a whore. I walked away from her when she begged me to stay because she deserve better than a bastard, she deserves the world and I can't give her that"

"So... You weren't any good" Sam nodded

I stared at Sam before throwing something at his head and charging at him, punching him in the arm laughing at the big idiot.

"Enjoying yourselves? You look cold, boys" Alliser Thorne interrupted.

Sam nodded "It is a bit nippy"

"A bit nippy, yeah, by the fire, indoors. Its still summer. Do you boys even remember the last winter? How long has it been now? What, 10 years? I remember. Was it uncomfortable at Winterfell? Were there days when you just couldn't get warm, never mind how many fires your servants built?"

"I build my own fires," I stated

"That's admirable. I spent six months out there, beyond the Wall during the last winter. It was supposed to be a two-week mission. We heard a rumour Mance Rayder was planning to attack East watch. So we went out to look for some of his men... Capture them, gather some knowledge. The Wildlings who fight for Mance Rayder are hard men. Harder than you'll ever be. They know their country better than we do. They knew there was a storm coming in. So they hid in their caves and waited for it to pass. And we got caught in the open. Wind so strong it yanked 100-foot trees straight from the ground, roots and all. If you took your gloves off to find your cock to have a piss, you lost a finger to the frost. And all in darkness. You don't know cold. Neither of you do. The horses died first. We didn't have enough to feed them, to keep them warm. Eating the horses was easy. But later when we started to fall... That wasn't easy. We should have had a couple of boys like you along, shouldn't we? Soft, fat boys like you. We'd have lasted a fortnight on you and still had bones leftover for soup. Soon we'll have new recruits and you lot will be passed along to the Lord Commander for assignment and they will call you men of the Night's Watch, but you'd be fools to believe it. You're boys still. And come the winter you will die... Like flies"

 **Lillian POV**

I Sat at the tournament still feeling ill but was able to swallow the vomit feeling that came over me sitting in the blistering heat "Lover's quarrel?" Looking to the sound Lord Baelish took a seat next to Sansa.

"I'm sorry. Do I?"

"Sansa this is Lord Baelish" I stated staring a stare he knew

Lord Baelish nodded "An old friend of the family. I've known your mother a long…long time" he nodded

"Why do they call you Little finger?" Arya asked

"Arya!" Sansa snapped,

"Don't be rude!" Septa hissed

Little finger smirked "No, it's quite all right. When I was a child I was very small and I come from a little spit of land called The Fingers, so you see, it's an exceedingly clever nickname" he chuckled

"Hmm clever" I rolled my eyes

"I've been sitting here for days! Start the damn joust before I piss myself" King Robert stuttered drunk.

Staring at the knights who rode up I saw one as big as a bloody hill "Gods, who is that?" Sansa gasped

"Ser Gregor Clegane. They call him the Mountain. The Hound's older brother" Turning around I made eye contact with the so-called Hound. He stared at me a frown on his face before I turned around again.

"And his opponent?" I questioned

"Ser Hugh of the Vale. He was Jon Arryn's squire. Look how far he's come" Lord Baelish replied

The knights moved to either side holding wooden stick in his arms they began to move towards each other, nothing happened. They reset themselves and charged and like a blink in the eye Ser Hugh found himself on the ground spitting blood with a wooden piece in his throat.

"Not what you were expecting?" Lord Baelish asked a scared Sansa "Has anyone ever told you the story of the Mountain and the Hound? Lovely little tale of brotherly love. The Hound was just a pup, six years old maybe. Gregor a few years older, already a big lad, already getting a bit of a reputation. Some lucky boys just born with a talent for violence. One evening... Gregor found his little brother playing with a toy by the fire... Gregor's toy, a wooden knight. Gregor never said a word; he just grabbed his brother by the scruff of his neck and shoved his face into the burning coals. Held him there while the boy screamed, while his face melted. There aren't very many people who know that story"

"I won't tell anyone. I promise" Sansa muttered scared

Lord Baelish smirked "No, please don't. If the Hound so much as heard you mention it, I'm afraid all the knights in King's Landing would not be able to save you"

"Or you Lord Baelish, I'm sure he'd hang you by your toes hearing such stories. Truth or not" I stated "Now stop trying to scare the child"

"You're a fierce women Lady Falls" He smirked

"Do well to remember that" I nodded "Arya time for you to go to your dance lesson"

"Oh right thanks" She nodded getting up and running away for sword lessons.

…

The mountain rode up to King Robert and took a bow in front of him, Lord Stark finally joining us "Lillian where is Arya?" Lord Stark asked

"At her dance lessons" I nodded

"Are you okay?" Lord Stark asked examining me

I fanned myself "Not use to the heat"

"Ah…Not something I favour either" he elbowed me

"The Knight of the Flowers" Sansa whispered a smile upon her face, she was smitten, rather it be over him than over that little prick. Ser Lora's rode up handing me a red rose I stared for a second before taking it.

"Thank you" he nodded but his eyes went passed me. Placing the rose in my lap I watched them ride off to the side, Sansa mumbling something and clutched her father arm.

"100 gold dragons on the Mountain" Little finger yelled

"I'll take that bet" Kings little brother Renly Baratheon yelled

"Now what will I buy with 100 gold dragons? A dozen barrels of Dornish wine? Or a girl from the pleasure houses of Lys?"

"Or you could even buy a friend" Renly replied a smirk playing on his lips.

I watched as they rode towards each other fast and quick and it didn't take long until the mountain was flat on his back. The sound of Laughter and argument filled my ears but my eyes stayed on the mountain as he growled and threw his helmet like a two year old not getting what it wants.

"SWORD" I frowned as I watched his squire hand him his sword, I stood to my feet as I watched him behead his beautiful horse, my eyes wide in shock

Lord Stark grabbed my hand pulling me back down but Gregor tantrum didn't stop as he swung at Ser Lora's knocking him off his horse and continues to strike at him whilst he was on the ground.

Turning my head I saw the hound his eyes connected with mine and before I knew it the Hound roared with anger "Leave him be!" Brothers or not the mountain didn't care and continued to swing at this brother who was protecting the knight. I was impressed to say the least.

"Stop this madness in the name of your King!" King Robert screamed and just like a dance the hound fell to his knee, sword in ground as the mountain just missed his head. The mountain continued his sulking throwing his sword to the ground and storming off.

Lora's grabs the hound left hand with his right and raises both in the air to the cheers of a standing ovation. I clapped because I was impressed no doubt about it. Stepping down from where I sat I waited until people cleared and headed towards Renly "This was meant for you milord" I stated handing him the red rose.

"I don't know what-"

"Yes you do, you know, very well so…here" pushing the rose towards him, "Anyone ask just say I gave it to you" I nodded

"I-I"

"Secret safe with me I don't stand in the way of love" Nodding I turned on my heels and left Renly on his lonesome. I continued a while outside before I found myself in my room, I hate it here I feel trapped like nothing I can say or do will change anything.

Huffing I seen the parchment and for some reason my frustration fuelled my energy to write to Jon. My hand gripped the feather writing away until my chamber door slammed open turning I stared at my intruder.

"Seven hells Arya what is it?" I hissed "Shut the door" Arya listened shutting the door

"Someone is gong to Kill father" she huffed

"Speak English Arya" I frowned

"I overheard someone saying they were going to kill dad like they killed Jon-" I wrapped my hand around Arya mouth.

"Shh" I whispered "to many snakes around here…Jory won't let anything happen to him okay and your dad a great fighter, his tough"

"So was Jon Arryn" She signed fear in her ears

Grabbing Arya I wrapped her in a hug, I hope no one was after Lord Eddard Stark he was my adoptive father, he raised me, he helped me I couldn't lose him. He and Lady Stark were like a blessing from my parents, a second chance of having parents.

Before I knew it a knock on my door occurred, frowning I pushed Arya behind me grabbing the dagger from the table and walking towards the door as I opened it I saw Sansa and Jory "Three of you stay together, lock this door and open it for no one"

"Jory" I frowned

"Please trust me, keep them safe and open the door to no one" leaning forward I wrapped my arms around Jory I knew he would always protect us but he was on edge. "Trust me"

"Be safe please and protect him"

"I will I swear it…Now stay here" Jory shut the door ordering Stark soldier to protect the door and not move unless himself or Lord Stark says otherwise.

"Lillian"

"Shut up and be ready to move" I nodded staring at the door time passing. I waited and waited and heard nothing. I had paced back and forth for hours waiting. My hand gripping Jon dagger waiting for something. I had finally got Arya and Sansa to go to sleep on the bed.

A steady knock stopped my pacing, gripping my dagger I placed it in the back of my dress "Lady Falls" Opening my chamber doors I saw one of the guards "Jory dead" My jaw clenched tight "And Lord Stark is-"

"Take me to him now"

"Lady"

"Do as your ordered" I hissed angrily, tears begging to slip for Jory.

"Yes my Lady" nodding I hide my dagger better seeing the other guards "Protect them and don't let them leave nor let anyone enter who is not myself or lord Stark"

"Yes milady" they nodded standing guard.

I followed him through the hallways and archway until I saw him lying in his bed wrapped up. Hurt. Taking a deep breath I took a seat beside his bedside, taking my dagger out and putting it on the bed.

"What have they done to you?" I whispered "We shouldn't have left home Ned, we shouldn't have left home" Gripping his hand I placed it on my forehead and began praying to the new and old gods.


	9. Chapter 9

I lifted my head to the sound of someone entering Lord Stark bedchambers, gripping the dagger under the bed I stared at the door as it crept open, the sight of yellow hair slipping through the door, no other than Queen Cersei herself with a twisted face.

"Your Grace" I spoke startling the lady in her movement

"Lady Falls I didn't know you were here"

"Well here I am" I faked a smiled "Can I help you your Grace"

"I wished to speak to-"

"Sorry your Grace his asleep" I stated

"Lillian" King Robert joined us barging the door wide open "How is he?"

"May I speak boldly your Grace?" I asked

"You may" he nodded

"Who went to war with you?" I questioned

"Lillian"

"Humour me" I shrugged

"Ned" he nodded

"Who your best friend?"

"Ned"

"Who did you give the North too? Who is the warden of the North?"

"Ned" he nodded

"So a crime occurred in the North, he was captured in the North, Queen brother or not he will stand before a court"

"Lillian you're a child, you don't-"

"Don't what understand? My family was taken from me when I was 10 years old by people I didn't know it was Eddard Stark that gave me my justice"

"Lillian, hold your tongue" Staring down at Lord Stark grip on my hand I sat back pressing my lips together "Your pardon, your Grace. I would rise, but..." he pointed to his injuries

"Do you know what your wife has done?" Cersei hissed like the snake she was

"She did nothing I did not command," Lord Stark said proudly

"Who'd have thought she had it in her?" King Robert nodded

The queen silence was no longer "By what right dare you lay hands on my blood?

Lord Stark gripped my hand tighter "I am the King's Hand, charged with keeping the peace..."

"You were the King's Hand. You shall now be held accountable!" The queen yelled,

"Will both of you shut your mouths! Catelyn will release Tyrion and you'll make your peace with Jaime" King signed,

"He butchered my men..." Lord Stark hissed

"Lord Stark was returning drunk from a brothel when his men attacked Jaime" Queen yelled

"Yes because that's likely," I mumbled rolling my eyes

"Quiet, woman" King snapped at his Queen

"Jaime has fled the city. Give me leave to bring him back to justice." Lord Stark asked, King Robert stared at Ned.

"I took you for a King" Queen hissed

"Hold your tongue" King Robert warned his wife

"He's attacked one of my brothers and abducted the other. I should wear the armour and you the gown" Just as the words slipped her lips; King Robert hand connected with her cheek the sound echoing in the room "I shall wear this like a badge of honour"

"Wear it in silence or I'll honour you again." King Robert warned, Queen Cersei looked at Ned and back at King Robert before storming out of the room.

"See what she does to me?" King Robert signed pouring himself a goblet of wine "My loving wife. I should not have hit her" he shrugged sitting on the bed facing away from Ned "That was not... That was not kingly" He took a sip of his drink.

"If we don't act, there will be a war" Lord Eddard Stark nodded

"So tell your wife to return that little shit of an Imp to King's Landing. She's had her fun, now put an end to it. You hear me? Send a raven and put an end to it." King Robert Commanded

"And what about Jaime Lannister?" I asked annoyed

"What about Jaime?" Lord Stark repeated after me

"I'm half a Kingdom in debt to his bloody father! I don't know what happened between you and those yellow-haired shits. I don't want to know. This is what matters... I can't rule the Kingdoms if the Starks and the Lannisters are at each other's throats. So enough"

"As you command, your Grace. With your leave, I will return to Winterfell and set matters straight" Ned nodded

"Piss on that. Send a raven. I want you to stay. I'm the King. I get what I want... I never loved my brothers. A sad thing for a man to admit, but it's true. You were the brother I chose." He stood looking Ned in the eyes "We'll talk when I return from the hunt" Throwing the hand badge on the bed

"The hunt?" Lord Stark questions

King Robert walks towards the door "Killing things clears my head. You'll have to sit on the throne while I'm away. You'll hate it more than I do"

"The Targaryen girl... "

King Robert opens the door roughly "Seven hells! Don't start with her again. The girl will die and I'll hear no more of it. Put on the badge. And if you ever take it off again, I swear to the Mother I'll pin the damned thing on Jaime Lannister" He screamed leaving the two of us.

"Lillian the girls?"

"They're fine, Jory dead" I stared at him "Jaimie Lannister needs to pay for what his done"

"We will find our justice"

"I hope so, now rest I'll watch over you"

"Who is with the girls?"

"What's left of your soldiers are watching over them and the septa" I nodded

"I have to deal with issues"

"Not right now have a nap please"

"Thank you Lillian"

Nodding the grip on my hand finally decreased and Lord Stark closed his eyes. I stayed beside his bedside knowing I had a target from the queen on my back, but I didn't care.

I decided to send the Raven to Jon I smiled as I watched the raven fly high in the sky, my words finally going to him after so much silence between us "You're smiling?" Sansa asked "Why?"

"I um sent a letter to Jon" I admitted

"I wish he didn't take the black you two would make such cute babies" she nodded

"Fierce babies too" Arya chipped in "They'd learn to fight before they learn to speak" Pushing Arya she laughed "It's true I wish the same thing that Jon never took the black"

I shrugged "I guess what's done is done"

"But-"

The sound of the Chamber door slamming open "I'm sending you three back to Winterfell" A smile rose on my cheeks

"What?" Sansa snapped all sense of happiness leaving her face

"Listen"

"What about Joffrey?" Sansa snapped cutting Lord Stark off

"Are you dying because of your leg? Is that why you're sending us home?" Arya asked concerned

"What? No" Ned frowned

"Please, father" Sansa begged,

"You can't. I've got my lessons with Syrio. I'm finally getting good" Arya signed,

"This isn't a punishment. I want you back for your own safety"

"Can we take Syrio back with us?" Arya begged

Sansa turned to Arya "Who cares about your stupid dancing teacher? I can't go. I'm supposed to marry Prince Joffrey. I love him and I'm meant to be his Queen and have his babies"

"Seven hells Sansa grow up" I snapped

"When you're old enough, I'll make you a match with someone who's worthy of you, someone brave, gentle and strong..." Ned muttered

"I don't want someone brave, gentle and strong. I want him!" Sansa whined and I couldn't hold in my chuckle, which became a reaction as Arya laughed beside me and Lord Stark holding in his smile as he looked at his shoes.

"He'll be the greatest King that ever was, a golden lion, and I'll give him sons with beautiful blond hair" Ned looked up at Sansa

"The lion's not his sigil, idiot" Arya mocked "He's a stag, like his father"

Sansa rolled her eyes "He is not. He's nothing like that old drunk King"

I stared at Lord Stark examining his thinking face, what had he just figured out? "Lillian take the girls, get your septa and start packing your things…Go girls," he ordered

Nodding I grabbed the girls arms "Wait!" Sansa yelled

Arya and I both grabbed Sansa arm "Come on Sansa"

"But it's not fair!" She whined

"Life is not fair Sansa now move it"

"Shut up Lillian"

"Hold your tongue Sansa" I pointed out "Start packing up now the both of you, this place is not great it a shit hole now do as your told or leave without it, I don't care because we are leaving"

"You're being a bitch" Sansa whispered, "I love him"

"You're a child you don't know what love is Sansa, you know nothing of it" I screamed, "Now pack your things"


	10. Chapter 10

**Jon POV**

I couldn't be happier when I felt the door close behind me my hands automatically going to the fire to warm them. Finally being able to feel the blood move through me again I took a seat and began to eat "This came for you" Pyp nodded "I was told and I quote a letter for the bastard"

Grabbing it I stared at the Sigel, a smile coming over me "Why the smile Jon?" Grenn grunted between chewing.

Breaking the stamp I began unrolling the parchment of paper and looked at the handwriting I knew better than my own eyesight "Who is it?" Sam asked "Oh is it Lady Falls?" he asked his eyebrows wiggling suggestively.

"Lady Falls?" Grenn asked

I glared at Sam "Sorry I didn't know it was a secret"

"It's not I guess" I shrugged

"Lady Falls, Lady falls?" Pyp thought "Oh the castle that fell to rubble, its on the way right"

"Right" I nodded

"Sad what happened to them" he nodded "Only three Fall's children left right?"

"I, can I read the letter now or is there more questions?" I wondered

"Oh okay lover boy" Pyp put his hand up in surrender "Read away I won't say another word but one last question"

"What Pyp?" I signed

"Her tits what they like" he smirked wiggling his eyebrows

"You know you'll pay for that comment right"

"Worth it" he shrugged "I'm done now" he nodded returning to eating.

 _My Beloved Jon_ ,

 _I have stared at this parchment for days, weeks and sadly months and nothing I thought could sum up what I feel and what I need to say. I hate that you have left. I hate that I am here. I hate that days will pass and slowly without seeing you I'll forget what you'll look like. I hate that you felt the way you did and because so you left and swore an oath I know you won't disgrace._

 _This place is horrid. Sansa has lost the plot, your father is loosing his hair and Arya well she might be the only one benefiting with Sword practice. I walk around with a hole that can only be filled with you around._

 _I walk around for hours alone until returning to my bedchambers where I am up staring at the moon knowing you are staring at it too. It's my connection to you my hope that maybe one day I'll see you again, hold you again god kiss those lips again._

 _The thought of you there has literally brought me ill, I fear for your life and you beg me to forget you? To move on, find someone. I will find no one and you will not reply ever again telling me too. I LOVE YOU JON SNOW. Learn it, say it, until it soaks into your mind because the thought of choosing someone else, well you my as well pierce my heart and lay me to rest_

 _Yours Truly,_

 _Lillian Falls_

I smirked as I put it down holding back tears of emotion "Excuse me"

"Jon" Sam frowned

"No it's okay I just wish to reply" Sam nodded and I left the table I hated she felt so sick without me but I understood she was the one thing that kept me on my toes and the one thing that made me believe I could survive.

 **Lillian falls POV**

"LILLIAN" Lifting my head from the book in my hand I stared at a worried screaming Arya "Something wrong?"

"What you mean?" I frowned

"Lannister soldiers came to collect me instead of our own and than they began to fight Syrio he told me to run to you, he told us to run" Syrio was a man on honour, nodding I ran into my chambers grabbing the box under my bed.

"Do you have needle?" I questioned

"In the stables" She muttered

Pulling out my bow I strapped it onto my back with my arrows I had made over my stay "Been busy?"

"Move it Arya, go to the stables, grab Needle I will find Sansa, stay hidden if I don't come out run do you hear me head north and head towards it fast" I nodded.

Helping Arya out to the stables I watched her run, hearing the sound of armour hitting itself. Hiding behind the wall I looked out only to see Stark soldier bleeding on the ground and Lannisters Soldiers blocking Sansa door.

Rubbing my face I let out a silent huff and retreated to the stables. Finding Arya wasn't hard she was shaking "Arya?"

"Soldiers" she pointed "Our people"

"Shh" I whispered pulling her to my chest

"Lady Falls we've been looking for you" Turning I looked at the soldier wielding a sword "Lady Stark you too" his smile was sickling.

"Arya grab needle" I whispered

"Oh yes run little girl run" he mocked

Pushing Arya behind me "GO ARYA" I yelled only hearing her feet run off fast.

"Queen wants you alive" he nodded approaching me "But I feel like before I hand you in I might have a taste" his tongue licked his lips.

Taking one step back I grabbed my arrow spinning my bow around, gripping it in my hand I adjusted the arrow and in one quick breath released the arrow the sound of choking hit my ears, walking over "I'd let you keep the arrow but I kind of need it, sorry you couldn't have a taste" Pulling the arrow out of his throat I watched him choke on his own blood, drowning in it.

Putting the arrow back into my leather quiver I ran to find Arya, I felt someone bump into me falling to the ground, looking down it was Arya her hands covered in blood, lifting her up I didn't say a word as I gripped her hand, running through the capital.

I found a small place out of sight and hid Arya behind me, the night was quite warm but it was no place for us to be "Lillian I-I-I"

"You killed someone" she nodded "Come here" pulling her to my chest "Sleep Arya, I'll watch over until morning"

"Okay" she whispered shutting her eyes cuddling into my side.

…

Pass two days we had stayed hidden and out of sight, Soldiers were searching for us but we didn't stay in the same place we kept moving "Arya can you stay hidden?" I asked

"Where you going?"

"To see if I can find your Father"

"What if they capture you Lillian"

"Than Run Arya and don't look back, go north and than when you have Robb come get us"

Arya nodded "Love you Lillian"

"Love you too Arya" Kissing her forehead I stepped out of our hiding place, keeping my head down I walked through the people none taking notice of me or my appearance.

I saw Lord Varys talking to a few people creeping around the back I waited until he was alone before jumping out grabbing him a dagger to his throat "Get me to Ned Stark and you'll live"

"As you wish Lady Falls but I would have done it if you asked nicely" he muttered

"I trust no one"

"Good now come milady" Removing the dagger I allowed Lord Varys to take me through pipes and tunnels. I was surprised when I got in, the guard taking a payment my grip never left my dagger.

The sound of groans got to me it brought chills to my bones holding the torch "This is his" nodding the door opened and once I saw it was Ned I ran I didn't care if anyone seen.

I fell to my knees scraping it against the cold cement, wrapping my arms around his body holding on with all the strength I could master, Lord Stark held me back just as tight "Lillian" he whispered "They told me you died"

Pulling back "As if they could kill me" I faked a smile "Why are you in here?" I whispered,

"Joffrey isn't the true Heir to the throne" I frowned at his words "Jaimie Lannister is his father. There is officially no true Heir to the throne"

"So an incest bastard sit on the throne" I hissed angrily "And because you found out his going to kill you"

"The boy does not know to him his father was Robert, a drunk!" Ned signed

"So why?"

"Queen called me a traitor…said I wanted the throne for myself"

I shook my head "No, you'll be beheaded… Not going to let that happen. I'm going to get you out of here" I nodded standing to my feet

"You can't Lillian" he signed, "I'm going to take the black, only way Sansa and Arya survive"

"They only have Sansa, Arya is with me!" I whispered "He won't let you I know Joffrey he won't let you. He will kill you" I shook my head "I can't lose you, I can't I can't lose my father"

The light from the fire danced on his face and I stared as his emotion soften "Taking you and the twins in was one of the best choices I made, the three of you came into my life as an addition and I couldn't imagine my life without use in it…and if I could I'd have you wed Jon, I would Lillian I would have you marrying him and have his children and being happy"

Tears began to build "Please bury you honour and run with me, help me get Sansa and run with us"

"I can't" he gripped my cheek "You're strong, smart and brave. I will not Gamble Sansa life nor will I let my family be marked traitors"

"We shouldn't have left" I whispered "We should have told that drunk best friend of yours to go home"

"Lillian I need to tell you something, something important"

"What?" I whispered

"Jon his mother who she is"

I frowned "Who?" I waited all my life for this answer

"When I found my sister she was having a child, she died having him" he signed "Jon is not a bastard, his a Targaryen"

"You mean to say his mother is Lady Lyanna? Your sister? Why didn't you?"

"Robert chased and killed Targaryen's I promised my sister I would raise him as my own"

"Well it means nothing to me, his Jon just Jon" I stated

"And I have loved you for always being protective of him, loving him for his nature and not his name…if Joffrey disgrace his word than tell him when you see him and only him"

"Ned"

"Promise me"

I gulped "I promise," the tear finally falling "I can't lose you"

"You'll never lose me I'll always be with you, If I die I'm just going to see my sister, your parents everyone important…will watch over you Lillian, just protect yourself "

"I love you father"

He smirked "And I you daughter, now go escape get out of here. Tell them I love them and I am proud of all of them…and Lillian you're a stark to me"

Pulling him into a hug I held on tightly before Ned started pushing me away "Go before they find you in here, go" Knocking on the gate it was open, I didn't wait for Varys I ran and ran fast.

….

"Lillian…Lillian" Snapping open my eyes Arya was standing over me "The people are moving"

"Arya its time" I whispered gripping her hand "Head down you hear me"

Arya nodded, we travelled through lanes ways until we saw the crowd gathering. Putting our head down we pushed through the people "Up here" Looking up Arya climbed the statue; I sat on it hoping no guard would see us.

The crowd erupted with the word traitor as Ned came out. I watched as he climbed the stairs his eyes finding us "I am Eddard Stark Lord of Winterfell and hand of the king" he stopped looking at Sansa.

"Please" I begged

"I come before you to confess my treason in the sights of gods and man, I betrayed the faith of my king and the trust of my friend Robert, I swore to defend and protect his children but before his blood ran cold I plotted to kill his son and take the throne myself" a rock hit him in the face.

Gripping my dagger "Let the high Septon and Baelor the blessed bear witness to what I say. Joffrey Baratheon is the one true heir to the Iron Throne, by the Grace of all the gods, Lord of the Seven Kingdoms and Protector of the Realm"

Biting the inside of my gums "As we sin, so do we suffer. This man has confessed his crimes in sight of Gods and men. The Gods are just but beloved Baelor taught us they could also be merciful. What is to be done with this traitor, Your Grace?"

My eyes turned to Joffrey I could kill him now one easy shot and his dead "My mother wishes me to let Lord Eddard join The Night's Watch. Stripped of all titles and powers, he would serve the realm in permanent exile. And My Lady Sansa has begged mercy for her father. But they have the soft hearts of women. So long as I am your King, treason shall never go unpunished. Ser Ilyn, bring me his head!"

"Kill the traitor"

"Finish him"

I watched Ser Ilyn move forward putting his mask on and drawing the sword "Ice" I muttered "No" killing a man with his own sword.

"No" Arya whispered

The crowd erupted in screams, Sansa begging, the queen begging. Arya was grabbed looking down it was a night watch soldier "Don't look" he yelled

"Let me go, let me go" Arya cried

"Shut your mouth and look at me" standing to my full sight blocking out the sounds off traitor being yelled throughout the kingdom I waited, refusing to look away and in one swift move Lord Eddard Stark bowed his head and he was gone.

Jumping down "Take her, Take her to the wall" I begged the man in black "Arya go with him do you hear me?"

Her eyes were filled with tears "What about you?"

"I'm going to get Sansa but if I fail go to Jon tell him I love him and I'm sorry, you'll be safe there"

"Lily" wrapping my arms around her

"GO" I yelled

He picked her up taking her away and I headed towards Lord Stark body, I wanted two people life, I wanted their blood on my hands but I couldn't I had to get to Sansa, I had to be smart.

Getting passed the guards I ran to Sansa who was passed out on the ground picking her up I held her in my lap "Lady Falls good to see you back" Joffrey laughed.

"The North remembers!" I hissed

"Let them Remember" he smirked

"North will come and you will fall"

"Take her to her bed chambers and don't let her come out until I call for her, Sansa to the great hall we have other jobs to do" The knights pulled us apart, the hound gripping my arm tightly pushing me away from Sansa.

Lowering my head "You serve that little cunt" I hissed

"I…I do, keep your dagger hidden only use if necessary and you dare try to use it on me girly" He pushed me into the bed chambers "I'll have your life" The hound slammed the door behind me.

This room was high up there would be no way of escaping. Taking a seat on the bed I looked around the room it had wood. Going over to the chair I began breaking them and carving into them.

The sound of knocking on the door occurred placing the dagger under my dress I waited for it to be opened "Oh right your not allowed out" Joffrey voice mocked behind the door "Here I come"

I stared at the yellow hair prick in front of me a boy trying to be a king, he has no backbone what so ever I could take his life and be happy with the actions, but for Sansa state I remained still.

"Lady Falls I have something for you" he clicked his hand and I was grabbed by his knight "Reminder her to use her manners" I felt the first blows to the face, I winched in pain as the next few hits followed, the face being the main target "You yield" he questioned.

Grabbing his guards arm I pulled it behind his back pressing my knee into his shoulder "AHHH" he yelled

"Leave me alone or I'll break it!" I hissed spitting out blood that poured down my face.

"Fuck you Slut" pressing harder I felt the crack, he groaned in pain as I kicked him away from me

"Are you done your grace?" I spat standing to my feet my face hurting from the blows

"That will do" Joffrey smiled "Rest easy Lady Falls, because this won't be the last time you get treated like this"

"Until then my grace" I nodded

"Hmm until then" he smirked.

The knight left and the sound of yelling outside I hope I broke his arm, frowning I took a seat on the bed grabbing the cloth I held it to my lip to try and stop the bleeding.


	11. Chapter 11

The sound of armour rattling hit my ears, dropping the wood I grabbed my bow readying the arrows I had made from the living quarters furniture, I couldn't tell you how many suns had risen and fell, but I could tell you how many people I had fought off in this room.

The door opened and I released the arrow "Milady I mean no harm" A voice yelled as the arrow bounced above the doorway. My eyes travelled to the yellow hair imp "Please lower your arrow"

"No" I hissed, "What is it you want?"

"Want I want nothing but a conversation…. I didn't know you were in here"

"And now you do" I glared

He signed holding his arms up in surrender "Bronn leave us" he nodded to a tall man who stepped out "Milady I promise you I did not know of what Joffrey had done, to our knowledge you had escaped with Arya. Sansa is the one who told me"

"Is she okay?" I mumbled

"She is breathing"

"Has he harmed her?"

"Today yes but I stopped it I promise you Lady Falls"

"Promise me what?" I shrugged

"I will do my best to protect her"

"Why? What do you want?" I hissed, "Did you want to try and kill me and claim King fucking Joffrey bounty because like any of the others you will be the one who dies"

"He put a bounty on your head" The imp growled "That little cunt"

"If you're not here for game what is it you want?" I questioned

"First I want to get you checked out by a Maester you're covered in blood and bruises…have you eaten my lady?"

"I get feed once a week"

"What?" he growled, "I will put an end to this but you need to trust me"

"Trust you why should I? Worse mistake I'll make is trusting anyone here!"

"I don't blame you for thinking like that, looks like you've taken a few hits to the face" He signed "But I'm the only one who's going to get you out of here"

"Here this room? Or here this fucking city?"

"Hopefully both but firstly this room but before I do I'm going to get my hand maiden in here you will bath and eat and than will come and check on you…I swear to you this ends now"

"Why you doing this?"

"In hope your adoptive brother stops this war"

"Lord Tyrion what are the North words"

"The North remembers," he signed

"You're better off teaching a blind man to see than to stop Robb" I shrugged "Your beloved king fucked up, I know Robb he will march until his dead"

"What of a trade, what is we gave him Sansa?"

"Than most probably he would calm he'd probably give you your brother but Joffrey won't let her go to him she's a toy and that incest prick never good at letting things go"

The imp laughed "You remind me of your father, sharp tongue and strong headed"

"Well most people say I'm like my mother but I guess I can see why you think I'm like my father"

"I am sorry for all of this"

"Your name is not upon my list, I am trusting you" lowering the arrow I had pointed at his head "Do not fail me because If I die what will come for you and your family you won't survive"

"I will not fail you" The imp backed away out of the room and left me on my own. I couldn't tell you how long I had been in here but I've heard the celebrations of Joffrey name day, I heard the scream of peasants and the whispers of birds. I was unknown but I will not be for much longer.

…

"My name is shay by the way" the handmaiden scrubbed my back "I'm also Sansa hand maiden" I winced as she touched the cut on my back the Maester has closed up.

"Is she okay?" I whispered

"She is but how are you?" she asked "I see you are big in the stomach area, you are with child?"

 _Lillian sat in her bed crafting the wood into an arrow to use. The moon alight the sky and Lillian huffed a hasty breath she hated being captured, she hated being hungry._

L _ooking down at her stomach Lillian smiled "Shh little one" as the baby inside kicked at her voice "Mummy will protect you I promise" In return Lillian unborn child kicked happily against her._

 _Nothing like the feel of a baby inside you, growing and kicking it was a gift from the gods and Lillian was more than happy to being having Jon kid, something she could hold onto, something that reminded her of him._

" _Hello Milady" Lillian jumped to her feet staring at the man in front of her whom wore a sick smile "Quite a bounty for such a little thing…or shall I say big thing" he smirked "Does little prince know you're with baby, maybe there is more money for it"_

 _Lillian gripped her dagger given to her by Jon "I'm going to kill you"_

 _"We will see" he chuckled approaching Lillian sword in hand "Don't' worry though I'll drag it out"_

 _"You're a sick bastard!" Lillian stated_

 _They both began circling each other Lillian eyes were watching his feet as well as his eyes, as he swung she was able to miss it "Hmm I won't miss next time" Lillian frowned at the man in front of her._

 _The sword moved slicing Lillian arm, Lillian grunted in pain as he kicked her stomach. "Hmm I should rape you first" he chuckled jumping down gripping Lillian hand banging it on the ground until the dagger fell._

 _Lillian fought but the weight was too much, he began ripping at her dress pulling himself out "No" Lillian roared, "Get away from me"_

 _The man laughed before pushing himself into her, his grunting mixed with Lillian pleads but it didn't stop him he continued to press into Lillian harder and harder. The man laughed and moaned when Lillian closed her eyes not wanting to look at him he punched her right in the stomach, the wind getting knocked out of her._

 _Lillian reached out gripping something heavy "FUCK YOU" she yelled smashing him in the head, he fell off her his member slipping out. Lillian picked up his sword cutting his stiff penis off "You fucking CUNT" Lillian yelled as she stabbed him over and over again with his own sword._

I shook my head "I was, I bleed after being attacked," I whispered

"Milady"

"Call me Lily please"

"I'm sorry Lily, that why your sheets are red? Why you were covered in blood? Why your clothes are ripped?"

"Yes, I don't think it survived the punch I haven't felt it move but I did bleed…. enough about this I do not wish to think of my loss please tell me about Sansa"

"She is playing the game, she will survive this"

"I hope so, can you give her something for me?" I questioned,

"Yes"

Getting out of the bath I headed to the table and began to write. When I was done I folded it up and passed it to her "Thank you shay"

"Lord Tyrion got you these clothes to wear lily"

"Thank you, you may go now" Shay bowed her head before leaving. Grabbing the clothes I began to dress myself it felt good to bath and wash the blood away. The Maester came in muttering as he assed me.

"Sorry for what has happened"

"People are always sorry, maybe you should stop being sorry and stop what's happening before it happens" I whispered back.

"Hmm if only it was that easy" he nodded

"Milady we have brought you food" turning to Lord Tyrion "You're looking better already"

"Thank you" I nodded "You are the new hand be careful they're being killed off for speaking the truth"

He smirked "I will do well to play the game well"

"We didn't wish to play you know that right Lord Stark just wanted to go home, he didn't want to leave in the first place…We shouldn't have left"

"You'd all be alive" The Maester left us alone "Do you mind if I eat with you?" he asked

"Sure" I shrugged

Picking up a piece of warm chicken I waited until Tyrion ate and than I followed with him, my stomach was grateful for the food "I was informed of your um pregnancy congratulations its Jon's right?"

"Um was his I lost the child" I looked down

"What do you mean?" he asked

"I told you every night I fought for my life, I didn't know I was pregnant until I hadn't bleed and than I felt it move and it gave me the passion to fight all over again but than on my last fight I got a few blows to the stomach"

"What knight?" he asked

"The knight is dead I slit his throat and repeatedly stabbed him in the stomach and pushed him out the tower window"

"No one has found a body though" Tyrion frowned

Lifting my head "Of course they haven't the people are hungry, they stripped him off his armour probably burnt it down and sold it, they butchered him and I guess they ate"

Lord Tyrion eyes went wide "I am sorry"

"Seems to be your favourite word, I do not care for it. People have been sorry to me all they're life and I do not wish to hear it any longer. Family or not, blood or not when the time comes I will have your sister head and I will kill her son Joffrey"

"What of her other son and daughter"

"They have done nothing, they are innocent and its probably safe you send them away far, far away where they can be safe, at least the princess if not the prince"

"So you want those dead who have wronged you"

"That's right and Joffrey is on the top of my fucking list Lord Tyrion" My anger was boiling "He swung a sword at Arya, got Lady killed. Beheaded my adoptive father, laid a hand on Sansa and now killed my unborn child, a mother fights and dies for its child"

"I wouldn't know my mother died having me"

"She died for you, she gave her life for you, your mother was brave and strong by the sounds of it Lord Tyrion" I signed "I will kill Joffrey or I pray to the gods be just and have someone kill him"

"I will make sure no one comes to you tonight I have my guard on watch" he whispered "we will walk tomorrow"

Nodding Lord Tyrion got up leaving me on my own some with heaps of food, the second the door shut and was barricaded I began wrapping food up and filling water supplies not wanting to starve no longer.

When I was done I headed towards my bed wrapping myself in the furs, for some reason I felt at ease like I could sleep tonight, gripping the dagger in my hand I closed my eyes "Love you Jon and sorry for not keeping our little one alive" I whispered tiredly.


	12. Chapter 12

**JON POV**

"GHOST STAY WITH US" I yelled, "GHOST" as we searched the snow for my uncle Benjen.

"There goes your pet" Qhorin stated

Rolling my eyes "He's not a pet"

"Your right, he's not you can't tame a wild thing, can't trust a wild thing"

"Ghost is different," I stated,

"So you think. Wild creatures have their own rules, their own reasons. And you'll never know them. Now the wildlings we're looking for sleep during the day and hunt at night"

"I thought you said you couldn't know wild things"

I said you can't" Qhorin the half-hand smirked "They find a nice cave to hide in while the sun's up and do their killing when it's dark"

"We could do the same" I frowned

"No, we couldn't. This is their country. They know where to walk, where not to walk. I've lost good men who fell into a crevasse they didn't see till they were in it"

"My father always said I'm of the North. I wasn't joking"

"Look around, boy. This look like home to you? You start thinking you know this place, it'll kill you. You understand me? No, you don't. We're at war. We've always been at war. It's never going to end 'cause we're not fighting an enemy. We're fighting the North and it's not going anywhere. The Watch has given you a great gift. You only have one thing to give in return ... your life"

I felt like I was being lectured for ruining my dinner or do something wrong "I'll gladly give my life" I stated,

"I don't want you to be glad about it. I want you to curse and fight until your heart's done pumping. And know this, boy ... your death will be a gift for them south of the Wall. They'll never know what you've done. They'll never know how you died. They won't even know your damn name, but they'll be alive because some nameless bastard north of the Wall gave his life for theirs. Now, do you understand me?" Qhorin questioned

"I do"

"You're even dumber than you look, It's just words, boy, to keep us a little warmer in the night, make us feel like we've got a purpose. Come on. We've got to find these goat fuckers before night falls and they find us" Qhorin pushed me before walking off.

Walking up the mountain I heard movement hiding behind the rock, looking to my brothers they did the same. Looking at Qhorin he nodded, once the arrow pierced a wildling we advanced.

Tackling a wilding to the ground onto a rock, I turned him around only to see "A girl"

"A wildling" Qhorin corrected me

"But she is basically a child" I stated, this went against everything within me. Kill a girl and a child same age of Sansa "We could question her?"

"You could. She won't answer. I've known a wildling to bite off his tongue instead of talking"

I looked at the girl with red hair "What's your name?" I asked

"Ygritte"

"She was reaching for this axe when you got to her. Give her half a chance, she'll bury it in your face, child or not she's a wildling"

"I gave you my name" I stared at this girl her eyes bright blue.

"I'm Jon Snow" I nodded

"You ought to burn them you killed"

" We'd need a big fire for that. Tell me, Ygritte, why do you want us to build a big fire? Are there some more friends in the area?" Qhorin questioned her.

"Burn them or maybe you'll need those swords again" She nodded a tone I knew better than anything.

"Our boy here's already killed one dead man. He can do it again if he has to. What waits beyond the pass?"

"The Free Folk" Ygritte answered

"How many?"

"Hundreds and thousands. More than you've ever seen, Crow" She spat angrily

"Why come to the mountains? What's in the frost fangs your king could want? Do you mean to march on the Wall? Do you know who I am, girl?" Qhorin hissed

Ygritte stared at him "Qhorin Half hand"

"Tell me true. If your people captured me, would they take me prisoner?"

"They'd take your head off your shoulders if they were feeling kind. If not, they'd kill you slow" She smirked

"We have no food for her. Can't spare a man to watch her. Can't let her go. She'll bring Mance Rayder's army down on us. It needs to be done. Want me to do it?" Qhorin asked pulling his sword out.

"No. No, I'll do it" I interrupted my brother

"Come, brothers. We'll leave him to it. We'll meet you at the top. Don't take too long. We're deep in their country now" Qhorin nodded before leaving me with the girl, my brothers following.

I stared at the girl she looked so familiar like a part of me knew her "You never killed a woman before, did you? You don't need to do it. Mance would take you. I know he would. There's secret ways. The Crows would never catch us"

"I'm as much a Crow as they are!" I stated

She nodded turning around on the rock taking the hood off her head, placing my sword on her neck I took a deep breath "Will you burn me... after?" She asked,

"Can't. Someone might see the smoke"

She huffed pulling the fur right out of the way "Strike hard and true, Jon Snow, or I'll come back and haunt you" She hissed my sword found her bare neck "That's cold. Go on. Be quick about it. Do it. Bastard, do it" She yelled

Before I could react I was pushed out of the way and she went running huffing I followed her chasing her up the mountain. Sliding down the hill I slide right into her knocking her into the snow.

"You can't do it. We both know it. The sun's going down, Jon Snow. And your friends are nowhere close"

"I'll find them"

She laughed, "Call for the go on. Call loudly"

 **Lillian POV**

The door to my chambers opened banging on the bricks of the castle, jumping to my feet ready for another fight, I stared at the doorway "Put it down" The hound hissed.

"Really you? You want his fucking bounty?" I questioned

"No" the hound frowned

"I will fucking kill you-"

"Shut up little warrior" He reached out grabbing something I froze when I saw Sansa, dropping the dagger I ran to her, her face covered in tears, her face pale.

"Did he hurt you? Sansa speak?" Sansa continued to sob "SANSA FUCKING SPEAK" I yelled my anger getting the better of me.

"She was almost raped" The hound spat "I saved her though"

"You? Why?"

"Why not?" he shrugged

I glared at the tall man with a burnt face his brown eyes cast a soft spot for Sansa "Thank you" I nodded

"Dog doesn't need-"

"Shut up and take my thanks" I cut him off

He smirked "You will be the death of many little warrior" Nodding he left Sansa and me, the bedchamber door locking again. Dragging Sansa over to the bed she was still pale as snow.

Grabbing the cloth I was given I began wiping her face "Shh Sansa you're safe now" I whispered.

"They were so angry" She stuttered "S-S-So angry"

"They're hungry your king doesn't feed them" I spat

"He isn't my king" she spat venom in her tone.

"What happened to I love him," I hissed

"I was naive"

"You can say that again" I nodded pressing the cloth to her face "Say it Sansa"

"Say what?" She asked confused

"Sansa I've known you since you were a babe, my father rode and we celebrated your birth in the great hall" I smirked "It was my first time in Winterfell and my first long ride you hide behind this mask speak your mind Sansa it's only you and I"

"His a monster, He is a monster and he killed father a-a-a-and I hate him" she spat

"What else?" I asked

"I've planned his death a million times over, he killed father Lillian FATHER," she yelled again "I have seen Robb ride on kings landing with the north and saving us all, taking his fucking his head in front of his whore of a mother"

"What else Sansa say it all let it out"

"HIS A FUCKING INCEST CUNT" She screamed "HE IS A MAN WITHOUT HONOR, WITHOUT MERCY HE DESERVE NOTHING BUT A PAINFUL DEATH"

I stared at her smiling "There it is, his a cunt of a human being and when he step foot near me regardless of the repercussions I will kill him. I will revenge our father, I will revenge Jory and our Septa, our man and-"

"Lillian that's a death sentence" Sansa signed "I can't lose you"

"Sansa-"

"No I won't let you be so stupid, play the game, survive and than together when times right will fight"

"Sansa what is it I have left answer me that?"

"You have me"

"And I'm grateful for knowing all you Stark children but I have known nothing but tragedy, everyone I love and care for dies or leaves"

"Were all going to die sometime Lily"

"Yes but my faith is written in the stars, my time is up" I signed "I will fight until you're free Sansa"

Sansa stared at me a look in her face I've never seen before "No I will fight until you're free…You have Brent and Nadine…they need you like the flower need the sun in winter" she stated "Do you understand me"

"Sansa-"

"No your faith is written in the stars and it doesn't end here. You're a great Warrior you will not die here, I have seen you fight with my brothers, I've seen you take down Jory even spar with Rodrik and Father, you show no fear. The Lillian I know wouldn't give up so easy, why now?" Sansa asked grabbing my hand in hers "Lillian I knew is fierce"

"She's broken" I shrugged holding the tears in my eyes

"Broken?"

"He killed my baby Sansa, my unborn child" I broke down tears falling down my cheeks, my knees collapsing to the ground "My baby, my fucking baby"

"Lily" she whispered, wrapping me in her arms "I am so sorry" she muttered as she rocked me back and forth.

 **Jon Snow POV**

"Your brothers desert you? I can tell you which way to go" Ygritte suggested,

"We'll stop here. Too dark to go any farther today" I nodded placing her on the ground, still wrapped in rope

"Here? There's no shelter here"

"There's no shelter anywhere." I signed

"There is if you know where to look. The cold could kill us both. If you light a fire-"

"No fire" I yelled cutting her off

"But a fire is –"

"No fire"

"Have it your way" walking away "We'll stay warmer if we stay close. Bet you freeze to death before I do. Bet your life" I signed lying down behind her, a million thoughts going through me head.

"Think they're out looking for you?" She asked

"Yes."

"Think they'll find you?"

"Yes" I whispered,

"You're brave. Stupid, but brave" Ygritte nodded

"We start again at first light. Get some sleep," I ordered, Ygritte began wriggling into me "Stop moving"

"I'm just trying to get warm" She signed,

"Stop it! You're still moving,"

She signed and than the movement stopped I stared at her, this young girl out with others? Wasn't she too young to go out? Why was she out? Shaking the thought from my head I closed my eyes.


	13. Chapter 13

**Jon POV**

Woke up to Ygritte head on my chest curled into a ball, my arm hugging her to my side. Taking a deep breath I looked down to see my morning glory. Shaking my head I stood up waking her from her sleep "What's the matter?" She asked annoyed.

"Oh" She smirked "Even in the cold" Ygritte mocked me, rolling my eyes I loosened the ropes around her leg so she could walk "Have you been with a women"

"I'm not having this conversation with you, you're a child"

"No I'm a women"

"And how old are you" I asked

"12" she shrugged "How old are you boy?"

"It does not matter…now move" I pushed her

"I heard they get all swollen and bruised if you don't use them. Of course, maybe that's just what the lad's say when they want me feeling sorry for them. As if I'd feel sorry for them. Are there no girl crows?"

"There are no women of the Night's Watch!" I stated

"So the lads just do it with each other?" she asked shocked

"No"

"Never?"

"Never. We swore an oath"

"You have sheep at the Wall? With your hands, then? No wonder you're all so miserable."

"Would you please shut up?" I snapped

"Would you please shut up?" Ygritte mocked "You think you're better than me, crow. I'm a free woman-"

"You're a free woman?" I asked,

"I might be your prisoner, but I'm a free woman"

"If you're my prisoner, you're not a free woman. That's what "prisoner" means!" I hissed

"And you think you're free? You swore some stupid oath and now you can never touch a girl"

"It was my choice to say the words"

"So you don't like girls?" She wondered

"Of course I like girls"

"But you chose never to touch them" she asked confused

"That's the price you pay if you want to be a man of the Night's Watch"

"So instead of getting naked with a girl, you'd prefer to invade our lands-"

"Invade your lands? Wildlings raid our lands all the time. Some of them tried to kill my little brother, a crippled boy!" I stated angrily

"They're not your lands! We've been here the whole time. You lot came along and just put up a big wall and said it was yours" Ygritte yelled in my face

"My father was Ned Stark. I have the blood of the First Men. My ancestors lived here, same as yours!" I pointed out.

"So why you fighting us?"

"MOVE IT" I yelled "Enough questions"

"One more and I'll shut up for a while" she smirked

"What, What is it?" I wondered

"A girl you have had sex"

"You do know you're twelve a child"

"Women" she corrected

"So you bleed congratulations but still I am a man you shouldn't ask me those things"

She rolled her eyes as I pushed her along walking it was actually silent for a while "I have just before I came here" I admitted

"Did you love her?"

"I still do"

"Than why swear a stupid oath?" She asked

"Because I'm stupid man who couldn't admit his feelings before it was to late"

"What she like?"

"She's unlike anything I've ever seen" I nodded, she stopped turning to look at me "Long brown wavy hair, ocean blue eyes, brown skin and a contagious smile" I smirked

"Contagious smile?" Ygritte asked

"Yes whenever she smiled life was better, but she wasn't all smiles"

"Could she fight?"

"Better than me" I nodded "She's deadly as she is beautiful"

"What was her name?"

"No more question now shut up and move" She turned glaring at me but than gave up and continued to walk. Since my last letter 3 months ago I have heard nothing I didn't even know if Sansa, Arya and Lillian were alive after they beheaded my father.

I knew nothing and feared everything. I wanted nothing more than to break my oath go to Robb and fight this war until my sisters were safe and Lillian was in my arms again.

"Keep moving"

"What's her name crow?" Ygritte asked,

"None of your business now walk"

Ygritte rolled her eyes and before I knew it tripped me and ran, groaning I got up chasing after her, kneeling I found the rope she was in "Shit" I whispered

The sound of whistling hit my ears turning and I was surrounded by wilding, groaning I put my sword down in surrender I was surround no way of surviving against them all.

"I've brought you a present, Lord of Bones" Ygritte smiled pulling on rope that held me captured. I looked at the guy in front of me a skull as a mask.

"I already got one crow. Don't need two".

"Mance will want to question this one. Knows all about where the crows are and what they're planning" Ygritte nodded

"The Half-hand knows more. This one is just a little boy. Gut him" Lord of bones threw his hand up.

"He could have killed me half a dozen times" Ygritte was sticking up for me as if she could try and save me she as just a child, how could she?

"And now he wishes he did. Gut him"

"He's a bastard of Winterfell, Ned Stark's son. Mance will want him."

"What does Mance want with a dead man's bastard?"

"I don't know. I think he'll want to decide for himself"

"He runs, I'll chop his balls off." Lord of bones huffed

"He runs, I'll do it myself…we're even now, Jon Snow" Ygritte whispered in my ear.

 **Lillian POV**

The door to my chambers opened and once again all the hairs on the back of my neck stood up "Come" I stared at the hound "King Joffrey wants you to come to dinner"

"And If I refuse?" I questioned

"Than I'm to take your eye," The hound grunted, "Please come, I do not wish to take your eye"

"You wish not to hurt me, you protect Sansa why?" I frowned

"A man does many things he can not explain"

"But a man know one reason give me one"

The hound frowned staring at me "Move it"

Signing I followed the hound down the hallways, it felt weird to be able to walk outside of my room. Licking my lips I saw Sansa, the King, the Queen, Tyrion and small council. I wanted to gut them all excluding a few but I wanted all their heads.

Clenching my teeth together I walked over to the table "LILLIAN" Joffrey yelled standing "You look weak" he smiled

I stared at him a forced smile appearing on my lips "I am not weak your grace just a little run down"

"How's your sleep been?" he asked, "How's the baby?"

It took everything within me not to attack him, my blood was boiling, my hand clenched automatically but I thanked the gods for keeping my mouth shut and my feet grounded.

Sansa was right I may be broken but two people walk this earth that need me, that I call blood "You're still very fat"

"Thank you for noticing your grace"

"Hmm take a seat" nodding I took a seat next to Sansa I felt all eyes of the table on me, analysing my appearance, what I would do, what I'd say "Lillian tomorrow my traitor uncle stannis will reach the shores and try to take my crown and sit on my throne"

"I did not know your grace"

"Been a bit busy surviving I know" he chuckled "GUARD" Joffrey called out and slowly I heard the sound of horse hovers "I was told that you love this horse since being here you spent most your time with him before beloved Ned stark died" he smiled sickly "Why do you love this horse so much?"

I stared at Water, my father horse "Sansa my love what is this horse meaning to Lillian?" Joffrey asked "Do well to tell me or we can arrange a way for you to tell-"

"It was my father horse," I whispered

"Your father died right?"

"Yes"

"So it mean a lot to you?"

"Yes your grace" Looking up at him I stared him dead in the eyes

"What is the meaning of this son?" Cersei asked

"Oh mother watch" he laughed nodding to the knight and my mouth dropped open as water fell to the ground, blood coating the floor and its head away from its body.

Sliding my chair back I stood looking at Joffrey his guard standing by him, all eyes on me. Gulping back everything I felt all the pain and loss "Good luck tomorrow I will pray to all the gods of your safety" my tone was riddle with hatred and kindness.

"Ha that's all you have" he asked "What happened to the bitch from the lake, I killed your adopted father, I've hit your so called sister, my armies are going to kill your other brother Robb and I've killed your unborn child"

"Yes you have your grace" I nodded "But I hope for your victory for you are a great king" LIES, LIES, LIES! my thoughts screamed

Joffrey scoffed "Go to bed I'll deal with you after this war"

Nodding I turned chin held high as I walked away out of the dinning room where everyone sat, down a narrow hallway. The hound by my side "Are you okay Milady?" Once I stepped into my bedchambers I stared at the Hound he signed closing the door, the lock hitting my ears.

….

I woke up the next day with one thought running through me, reach the walls Stannis and kill him where he stands, strike down Joffrey and save Sansa and myself. Over and over again I thought of Joffrey death the bittersweet moment.

I have prayed to the seven that Joffrey joins the battle like a true king should and dies at battle, biting my lip I paced the room waiting for something but I couldn't hear nothing I knew I had no guard at my door.

"Lillian Fucking Falls" lifting my head to the familiar voice "I'm getting you the fuck out of here" The voice sounded so familiar yet so different, I stopped my pacing staring at the door waiting.

The door opened and I stared at the person my eyes widen in shock at what stood in front of me "Brent?" I questioned walking over he was bigger, stronger "You look like father!" I whispered gripping his arms "You're bigger, stronger, man" I smiled gipping his face in my hands "Handsome"

"And you look over this place sister" he chuckled

"That your way of saying I'm pretty" I smirked warmth I hadn't felt in a long time coming over me.

"Ah how you speak my language" he smirked "And I found someone pacing the outskirts" he smirked letting out a whistle. I frowned only to be hit with Shadow he was bigger and standing beside Brent Wolf Ice.

Bending my knee they both came up to me placing their head on my shoulders as I hugged them patting their fur "Use two are massive" I stated "And I have missed use"

"Come sister we must go" he nodded

"Brent I can't go" I shook my head "Sansa"

"Sansa I can't get to her" Brent frowned "She locked with the Queen"

"You tried?"

"I did no way in, Lord Tyrion got me this far in but I had to do the rest"

"Lord Tyrion"

"Yes Lord Tyrion" he nodded "Now come on we must go enough chit chat"

"But Sansa" I signed

Brent walked up to me grabbing my face "Sister I love Sansa but right now you're my priority and Lord Tyrion gave me his word that he'd protect Sansa"

"Word is wind!" I stated

"He wrote to me, He got me to you, I trust him, now please sister don't make me knock you out and drag you over my shoulders. Make this easy on me" he begged

"Brent" I signed moving his hand of my cheek

"No you're always protecting others, I'm asking you as your little brother, your blood to come with me, to get to our sister and to Robb please Sister I beg you please"

Nodding I gathered my things and headed out the door. My feet found it easy, as I ran through the halls "The right" Brent yelled releasing an arrow right in a soldier neck. Bracing my bow I followed in suit. Running until we could finally escape.

"Stannis is coming?" I yelled

"Yes"

"Hopefully he kills some of them"

"Who cares Robb awaits" Brent jumped on his horse throwing his hand down gripping it he pulled my aching body up on his horse. I turned facing the back holding my arrow at the ready as Brent rode hard and fast our Dire wolves beside us.

 **Brent POV**

I have never seen my sister so frail or weak. I've never seen her so lost. She was our rock when our parents died she raised us we confused her as our mother until we were older enough to know she was our sister.

She has always fought for us and protected us but as I hold onto her as we ride she is weak, It brings me pain to see that she had been partly broken "Jon" she mumbled in her sleep.

Signing I held on tighter until finally coming to a stop "Set up here guys" Jumping off Lillian fell straight into my arms.

"Jon?" she mumbled tiredly

"Brent Lil, its Brent"

"Brent" she smiled in relief

"Shh Lillian it's okay no one going to hurt you anymore, you're safe" I whispered as her eyes closed again. Placing her against the sleeping bags I took my horse saddle off and replace it with a blanket.

Shadow whined cuddling up to Lillian "Protect her boy"

Clicking my hand Ice came and lay with me next to my sister. I couldn't sleep not now not knowing how she was treated. Every inch of her body I could see was covered in bruises, her lips and eyes swollen and bruised, scars on her forehead.

"What have they done to you sister?" I whispered my heart dropping.

Nothing brought me more happiness than the moment I was told she was alive I thought it was a trick at first but one I was willing to take. I rode for days on end until I was at Kings landing.

It was easy to go unnoticed I had grown heaps plus I was just a boy from the north in most eyes. Meet Tyrion in the back alleys and before I knew it I was inside waiting out the time the castle emptied.

My heart was heavy that I couldn't save Sansa, but full that I could save Lillian. Lillian is like no other, the gods favour her, protect her, stricken her with fearlessness and strength no other women and half the world man had. If anyone could change the game it was Lillian.

 **Lillian POV**

I woke up to fresh wind hitting my face and the morning sun shinning through the trees, turning my head Brent was staring at me, I had thought it was a dream but there he was staring at me "What is it?" I asked worried of his stare.

"I thought I'd never see you again" He whispered "Nadine is away from me for the first time in all our lives and you a mother figure in our life gone away from me, many days I worried" Brent admitted

"Well I'm here now and that because of you, you saved me"

"Eat, drink" He nodded passing me food and fresh water "Will move when you're done no where here is safe"

"Agreed" I nodded

We ate in silence I felt as if my baby brother had grown a thousand years since I was gone, aged by fear and worry. I should have stayed with him. Standing up I felt a weird pain shoot through my body.

"Ah" I hissed

Shadow howled next to me "Lillian" Brent ran over to me

"What is it?" He asked

"I'm not sure" I shook my head "We must go" I nodded when the pain faded

"Are you sure you're okay?"

"I am I think, yes" I nodded "Come on we should get far away from kings landing"

Brent stared at me unsure but followed my words, we began to ride and I winched and hissed every few seconds, the rain began to fall and the day began to darken.

"We should set up camp here, it's getting late" Brent whispered

"Okay" I nodded holding back a scream, the pain was worse than anything I've ever felt before. Laying down quickly I was hit with pain; I let out a wail of agony.

"Sister?" Brent asked, "What is it?"

Staring at him "I'm having a baby" I whispered shocked

"You're with child?" he asked gripping my hand "Why didn't you tell me"

"I thought it died, I bleed," I stated

Brent stared at me "The gods they favour you, they want this child to live" He nodded helping me to the ground "push sister, push" he smiled kissing my forehead holding my hand as I sat up.


	14. Chapter 14

_Lillian had woken early as she had for many years, walking down to the stable she ready her father horse. The guards of Winterfell smiled at her as they let her out the front gate. Under strict rules to just inform Jory or Ned that she had left._

 _They knew where she went. As she rode her father horse a million thoughts went through her head she was now a lady at twelve years old she had bleed and unfortunately sat through a long discussion with Lady stark and septa about what came next._

 _Jon had followed Lily as she rode to her old castle, when she arrived he watched her as she moved around. Her hand trailing against the rocks until she finally came to a stop her eye examining the wall._

 _"Lillian" Jon called out_

 _"Jon" Lillian smiled patting the fallen tree "Please sit"_

 _"You okay?" he asked bumping her shoulder_

 _"Just escaping Lady Stark" Lillian smirked_

 _Jon chuckled "You two huh?"_

 _"I would rather hear words of hate, than words of my lady duties" Lillian rolled her eyes "Apparently her and your father will decide who I am to be betrothed too now that I am of age" Lillian rolled her eyes_

 _Jon smirked "Well hopefully someone kind and gentle"_

" _I want a man just like you" Lillian nudged him here eyes screaming with the truth of her feelings but her facial expression left no sign of emotion. Jon always looked hoped that Lillian would confess her love for him, she would be happy to be his husband._

 _"You want to know a secrets?" Lillian asked Jon after long moments of silence, Jon nodded "My brother Grant climbed this wall"_

 _"No he didn't" Jon spat in disbelief_

 _"Ask your uncle His returned him back to us many times"_

 _"He has" Jon asked in disbelief_

 _"Yep…and he once told me he met a giant"_

 _Jon stared at Lillian "I think he was lying Giants aren't real"_

 **Jon Snow POV**

I stared at the sight in front of me, I couldn't believe it Lillian was right all these years "First time you've seen a giant, Jon Snow" Ygritte asked "Well, don't stare too long. They're shy. When they stop being shy, they get angry. And when they're angry, I've seen them pound a man straight into the ground like a hammer on a nail"

I stared in disbelief and than followed Ygritte. I huffed when a rocks began to hit me" Crow!"

"Crow!"

" Look over there!" Someone shouted

"Crow!"

"You're wearing the wrong colour!" Ygritte stated

"Mance was a ranger!" I stated

"In your hearts, all you crows want to fly free"

"When I'm free, will I be free to go?" I asked

"Crow!"

"Crow!"

"Sure, you will. Oh!" Ygritte laughed "And I'll be free to kill you" Ygritte tripped over a kid "Got no respect, this lot. Got no fathers to slap 'em when they're foul"

"What happened to their fathers?" I wondered,

"Some of them were killed by crows like you. Don't look so grim, Jon Snow. If Mance Rayder likes you, you'll live another day. And if he don't..."

Walking into the tent I saw a man eating chicken "I smell a crow"

"We killed his friends. Thought you'd want to question this one."

"What do we want with a baby crow?" he asked,

"This baby killed Qhorin Half hand. He wants to be one of us," Ygritte yelled from behind me.

The man stood staring at me, this was Mance Ryder "That half-handed cunt killed friends of mine. Friends twice your size." He spat angrily

"My father told me big men fall just as quick as little ones if you put a sword through their hearts" I stated, my heart squeezing at the thought of my father.

"Plenty of little men tried to put their swords through my heart. And there are plenty of little skeletons buried in the woods. What's your name, boy?"

"Jon…. Jon Snow" I fell to my knee "Your Grace"

Laughter filled the tent lifting my head I frowned "Your Grace?" The room continued to laugh, "Did you hear that? From now on, you'd better kneel every time I fart"

"Stand, boy." Frowning I stood "We don't kneel for anyone beyond the Wall. So, you're Ned Stark's bastard. Thank you for the gift, Lord of Bones. You can leave us" Turning my head Ygritte and the lord of bones left me in the tent.

"You married?"

"No"

"Children?"

"No"

"Why would you want to be free?" He asked "Why would a sworn brother of the nights watch want to be a wilding. If you're anything like your father"

"I'm a bastard I just want to be free," I confirmed hoping they wouldn't see the lies I was breathing. Looking down I bite my lip "If I was to be free it would be for one reason only…One person only"

"Whom?" he asked,

"The person I love" I nodded

Mance stared me in the eyes "What is her name?" he asked

"Lillian Falls"

Mance stared at me before turning to the bearded man I confused as Mance "This chicken eater you thought was king is Tormund Giantsbane" I looked at the red bearded man "Tormund get me the one from the south"

 **BRENT POV**

"AH No, No, No it hurts god it hurts" Lillian muttered shaking her head, sweat pooling down her face. Grabbing the cloth I cut I wiped her forehead "I can't Brent"

"Push pass it Lily come on" I nodded gripping her hand stronger.

"Nope no…. no it hurts oh god please no" she shook her head side to side; her eyes closed tightly, her face screaming in pain.

"Lillian I need you to push, push with everything you have" I whispered "If you don't this baby will die, I know you're tired, I know you're weak and its hurts but you need to push"

"I can't" She shook her head in defeat.

"Lillian you're my sister, my older sister, you're a Falls and Falls don't give up, we don't back down now push for all the gods hold dear, push this baby out…please for Jon, for you Lillian FUCKING PUSH"

Lillian blue eyes stared at me, sweat dripping down her face, she nodded gripping my hand, her eyes closing shut. No scream escaped her lips as she pushed. Looking down I saw the head.

"Keep Going Lillian I see its head" I nodded, letting go of her hand I positioned myself down there, it wasn't something I wanted to do I was Lillian brother but at the given time I was all she had.

Lillian began to push and the baby began to slide and before I knew it the slippery body was in my arms. Wrapping the baby up in the horse blanket I placed it on Lillian chest.

Cutting the cord the baby cried and Lillian tired self began nursing him "His beautiful" I whispered

She looked at me "We must move" She stated,

"Lillian" I shook my head no "just rest, nothing is going to ever happen to you or him" sitting down I put my arm around my older sister as my nephew ate. Leaning the back of my head against the tree "You did so well"

"We did so well" She smiled up at me "Thank you, thank you so much Brent"

"Don't thank me I am your brother Lillian its my job" I nodded "Now What are you going to name him?" I asked staring at Lillian, she smirked looking down at her child.

 **Jon POV**

"You asked for me Mance" A man with long brown hair tied at the back of his head, blue bright eyes, built solid and strong.

"Little Jon here said something, something that I thought you would like to hear" he nodded

"Yeah what the crow say?" he asked staring at me

"What the girls name you're in love with?" Mance asked,

I frowned in confusion "Her name is Lillian"

"Mance what game is this?" he spat angry "Did you bring me here to torture me some more, I told you I will fight with you I do not need to hear anymore bullshit" He spat angrily his eyes raging like a storm.

"Grant this is no game" Mance nodded

"My sister is dead" he spat angrily

I stared at the man in front of me trying to remember what Grant looked like but nothing came to mind "Lillian is not dead"

"Yes she is I went beyond the wall boy, I've seen the fucking keep" Grant grabbed me a knife to my throat "They killed my mother, my father, my sisters and brother"

I shook my head as the cold blade was pressed to my neck "No Lillian, Brent and Nadine are alive" I hissed.

Something in Grant eyes flickered, an emotion I had seen before "How do I believe you? How can I know what you speak to be true?" he asked removing the dagger from my throat and staring up at me.

Reaching into my shirt I pulled out the locket Lillian gave me "When I said I was leaving I noticed her cry for first time, it was gut ranching and in the fork between kings landing and wall we departed but not before she gave me this locket"

His blue eyes gathered with tears wanting to fall but none ever dared slipped, I could tell where Lillian got her mask from, her elder brother did it so well "She's alive" he whispered holding the locket in his fingers.

"Very much so…well from the last I heard yes"

"What you mean?" Grant hissed angrily

"She in Kings Landing"

"Why would she be harmed in Kings landing, King Robert rules the seven kingdoms, your father best friend"?

"He died his son sits on the throne…my sister was sworn to be his betrothal but now she their prisoner"

Grant calculated everything I wondering if the words slipping from my mouth would be true. He opened his mouth only to close it "She saved the twins?" he asked "My sisters and Brother are alive?" he asked in disbelief

"Yes… yes Grant Falls"

Grant stared at me "I haven't heard that in a long time" he nodded his own hand removing the locket around his neck "A very, very long time"


	15. Chapter 15

**Jon POV**

Since I told Grant of his sisters and brother his done nothing but stare at me blinking blankly, frowning and shaking his head, as if he was having an inside argument with himself.

I stared at Grant as he sat down Ygritte plating his hair, I could see he was having a deep argument with her. It was long until she stormed off over to me her eyes angry reminding me off all the times Lillian was mad.

"My father has questions" Ygritte frowned

"Questions?" I asked

"About Lillian and the twins" she shrugged

"Okay" I nodded

Ygritte nodded "Don't fear him, he may be strong but he is gentle" She faked a smile before turning on her heels and heading back to her father.

Grant was a big man. He was built like a bag of bricks. I watched him stand coming over to me "Lillian you love her why swear the oath?" he didn't beat around the bush another trait of Lillian.

"I made a promise to take the black before we admitted our feelings…and then before we left we spoke our truths and it was to late" I gulped back the guilt I feel.

"A man of his word" Grant nodded

"Yes" I whispered

"What did she think of you taking the black?" he questioned

Looking down I signed "A part of her hates me for it, I promised I'd always be there for her and I'm her north of the wall" I shook my head "If I am to be free its only to return to her"

"What about your family?" I asked

"I love them I do but they understood why I had to go. Lillian different story she will never forgive me for leaving her"

Grant looked down "You probably think I'm a horrible brother being over here right?"

"She missed you, she told us you died!" I stated

Grant frowned "She lied, she knew I went over the wall to be with my now wife and children, Ygritte was my first born child I have others but when I go away Le takes care of them" he nodded "Lillian lied to stop people looking for me I guess"

"She lied to the twins too they think you're dead" I stated, "She lied to me"

"She lied to protect me" Grant nodded "She was always protecting people, she's our mother all over"

"Yeah well I hope she has the strength to survive Kings Landing, they have my sister and Lillian captive"

"Where are the twins? Where Brent and Nadine?"

"Nadine is with the Forresters spending time with her betrothed Ethan"

A massive smile broke out on Grant face "Rodrik and Asher still at Ironrath?"

"Asher was exiled"

"Still in love with the Whitehill daughter?" he chuckled

"Last I heard" I smirked "You had a life and you left it was it worth it?"

"Would you die for Lillian?" He asked his hand gripping his axe

"Yes"

"Than you understand how worth it, it was" he nodded "I love my sisters, I love my brother, mother and father. I loved my home but home is nothing if you have no one to share it with…without my wife I'd be empty, I'd probably be dead" he shrugged

I stared at him it was true if Lillian died I don't think I could go on, think I'd accept death. I would no longer fight.

Grant signed "I wish sometimes Le came over the wall with the kids, I wanted them to meet my family, I wanted to live in my castle and be happy but sadly its nothing but rubble"

"You miss home?" I questioned

"What man wouldn't?" he asked, "Mance is staring at you Crow better get moving"

Getting up Grant walked ahead leaving me with a million questions, I felt as if I had protection from Grant and a part of Lillian was here with me. Looking up at the sky for all that is good in the world I hope someone is watching over her, protecting Lillian.

 **Lillian POV**

Days had faded and weeks passed by with a blink of an eye yet everyday, every week and every month I stare down at this blue eyed, black curly haired boy in my arms. I thought he was dead I grieved his death, I was broken but here now holding my finger smiling up at me was a piece of my heart.

I had felt like I was reborn and it lay in my arms. Brent and I stayed in inns and set up camps moving slowly than we did before, due to the difficulty to move quickly with a child.

My life had evolved and I couldn't explain the over powering protectiveness that came over me for this young little boy. I felt like a momma bear protection it cub.

Running a hand through his curly black locks, he snuggled closer to me. He was Jon all over which brought me happiness yet tears because it made me miss him more.

I hated Jon for leaving I hated that I had, had this little miracle and he would never be around. Jon would never get to watch his son grow up, teach him how to be a man.

"We should probably get a proper move on now Lil" Looking up at Brent "We should reach Robb Army, see Robb you know there a bounty on your head bigger than ever now you've escaped"

I looked at Brent its like everyday he grows "You're right it is time, but we can't keep travelling on one horse Brent" I signed "It slows us down"

"So what you want to steal one?" he asked

"Borrow" I shrugged "Without payment"

"What?" Brent frowned; I smirked up at my little brother "Oh god that smile screams trouble"

"Can you hold him?" I questioned "Shadow and I will catch up"

"Sister?"

"Trust me little brother" I nodded "I got this"

Brent rolled his eyes "Come here Derik mummy got that insane look in her eyes" Brent took baby Derik from me holding him to his chest "Don't be stupid Lillian he can't grow up without you" he warned, father tone in his voice.

"I'll be with you shortly" I nodded. He signed getting up and heading out the door of the inn we were staying at.

Throwing my bow around my body I began walking out of the room seeing a bunch of man drinking and laughing. Throwing my hood over my head I slide against the wall. Hoping no one would recognise me. Reaching for the door I slipped out of the door.

The wind whistled in my ears as I crept towards the stables, a low growl coming from shadow "Shh" I whispered, Shadow just lowered himself in pounce mode. Licking my lips I stepped forward into the stables.

Finding a horse I quickly got him out "What you doing with my-" he stopped staring at me "Wait" a slow sick evil smile "I know you, you're Lillian Falls King Joffrey-" before he could speak one more word an arrow pierced his heart.

I watched him fall to his knees coughing out blood, jumping up on the horse "Thank you for your horse" I spat angrily, Letting out a sharp whistle I kicked the horse leaving the stables quickly Shadow at my side.

Turning the corner I saw Brent on his horse just talking to Derik a smile on his face "Move it BRENT!" I yelled riding closer.

Brent turned his head wrapping Derik to him and began to ride with one hand. As I reached his side we both began to ride at the same pace, our horse pumping "What have you done?" Brent yelled his breath choppy.

"I killed the owner!" I yelled over the wind

"Lillian" he groaned

"Shut up Brent, he wanted a bounty I wanted his horse, I won"

 **Jon Snow**

Walking through the thick snow "Was it hard for you to kill the half hand?" turning my head to Mance.

"Yes"

"You liked him?" Mance asked, I nodded and continued to walk, Mance beside me "I like you, but if you're playing us false, it won't be hard for me to kill you. I've got wildling blood in my veins. These are my people"

"I understand."

"Well, how could you understand?"

I signed stopping in my tracks "You want to protect your people"

Mance glared at me "Do you know what it takes to unite 90 clans, half of whom want to massacre the other half for one insult or another? They speak seven different languages in my army. The Thenns hate the Hornfoots. The Hornfoots hate the ice-river clans. Everyone hates the cave people. So you know how I got moon worshippers and cannibals and giants to march together in the same army?"

"No."

"I told them we were all going to die if we don't get south. Because that's the truth, Shouldn't be long now"

The sound of screeching hit my ear frowning I stared at a man sitting his eyes white "What's wrong with him?"

"He's a warg. He can enter the mind of animals. See through their eyes. He's scouting for us!" Mance answered

"What, you've never met a warg?" Grant asked glaring at me, it was weird staring at him and knowing his Grant Falls the brother of the girl I have loved almost all my life.

"Orell" Mance yelled, "Where were you this time?"

"The Fist of the First Men"

"What did you see?"

Orell turned to my chuckling "Dead crows"


	16. Chapter 16

**Jon Snow**

My eyes widen as I stared at the sight in front of me "Always the artists" Mance commented.

"Its only horses" I stated "No men"

Mance looked at me annoyed "You said there was dead crows" Ygritte hissed. It still surprised me that Grant was letting her come; she was but a child and a girl.

"There was" Orell hissed,

"How many men were here?" Mance asked me

"About 300" I signed

"And you know what those men are now?" Mance asked. I nodded "We're all the same to them ... meat for their army.

"Do you think anyone got away?" I asked,

"It's not impossible. You don't go far betting against Mormont. But dead or alive, he took a big gamble coming north. And he lost. His best fighting men are dead. And whether he's Lord Commander of the Night's Watch or a blue-eyed corpse, he's a long way from home" Mance nodded

"Tormund" Mance yelled, "Climb the Wall. Take Orell and 20 good men. And take this one. He knows Castle Black's defence's better than any of us. And if he's useful, good. If not... throw him off the Wall. See if crows can fly."

"We're finally going to war, old friend?" Tormund asked,

"Hide near Castle Black. When I give the signal, hit them in the night. They've got a big old wall to hide behind, but it only guards one side"

Tormund laughed hugging Mance "We'll meet again"

"I…. if you do your job"

"Ah"

"How will we see your signal?" Orell asked unsure

Mance was already walking away "Send your eagle above the Wall every night. When it's time, I'm going to light the biggest fire the North has ever seen" he yelled walking away.

We stopped to set up camp it was cold Grant and I were searching for wood to keep us warm in the night "Ygritte she's coming?" I asked

Grant stared at me "It different out here Snow, not a man world" he stated "Ygritte is of age and free to do as she pleases" he nodded "She is my first born I'll protect her to the death but her fate is hers and hers alone"

"How old is she?" I asked

"She is 14"

"And you're going to let her fight? She is but a child" I spat

"She is a child in my eyes but a women in others, plus she's a lot like Lillian strong willed can't change her mind once its already in motion" Grant nodded "Plus I wasn't going to argue with her mother, scary women" he chuckled "Come on" Grant nodded heading back over to Tormund.

Orell stood in front of me staring "Orell says there are crow patrolling on the wall…Tell me what you know" Tormund asked whilst sitting on a piece of driftwood.

"There are four to a patrol ... two builders to check for structural damage, two rangers to watch for enemies" I stated I didn't like betraying the nights watch but I needed to live.

"How often do these patrols go out?" Orell asked

I shrugged "It varies. If I knew where on the Wall we were heading, I could tell you"

"You'd like to know that…there are 19 castles guarding the Wall. How many are manned?"

"Three" I stated Orell getting on my nerves as he spoke

"You sure of that?"

"Which three?" Grant asked now sitting next to Tormund

"Castle Black" I nodded

"Aye, Castle Black. Everyone knows Castle Black. Which others?" Orell barked

I stared at him was I really going to tell them? Was I really going to betray my brothers? "East watch-by-the-Sea and the Shadow Tower"

"How many men remain in Castle Black?" Tormund asked

"1,000" I signed

"Liar" Orell hissed

Throwing the wood on the floor and stepped to Orell "What happens to your eagle after I kill you? Does he drift away like a kite with his strings cut or does he just flop dead to the ground?"

"He's no crow," Ygritte hissed

"Just 'cause you want him inside you don't make him one of us" Orell spat

"Watch it Orell" Grant warned 

Ygritte smirked withdrawing her sword "I'm not afraid of you," She hissed

Orell stepped forward but before anything happened Tormund threw him on the ground. Grant knelt down to Orell "Speak to my daughter like that again and will found out what happens to your eagle" He nodded a playful grin on his face that screamed test me.

"I like you, boy. But if you lie to me, I'll pull your guts out through your throat" Tormund hissed staring me down

"1,000 men" I nodded

"We'll find out soon enough!" Grant nodded patting Tormund on the back, they both sat back down.

Turning away I was beyond annoyed, looking to my side I saw Ygritte "I don't need you to protect me"

"Of course you do" Ygritte nodded stopping me in my tracks "Who stopped Rattle shirt when he was about to cut your throat? Who vouched for you with Mance? It seems you owe me a debt" She smirked removing my sword from its belt.

"Give it back!" I stated not in the mood

"Well, I stole it. It's mine. If you want it, come steal it back" She smiled like a child before running off.

"Ygritte! Ygritte! Ygritte! Seven hells. Ygritte!" I signed chasing after her as she ran into a cave.

"Is Orell right? Are you still a crow? It's time you proved yourself," she stated as she began removing items of clothes

"Ygritte" I shook my head

"You swore some vows. I want you to break 'em. I want you to see me. All of me" And just like that she was standing naked in front of me, I frowned turning around, not wanting to see it.

"No" I shook my head "I won't"

"Why because you're a crow

"No" I shook my head 

"Because you love my aunt?" She asked

"Yes…and if I laid with you after leaving her to take the black she will never ever forgive me ever" I signed "And I would rather die"

"You're a crow"

"No I'm a man of honour," I signed hearing her put her clothes back on

"Honour" she spat "What do you know of honour"

"A lot more than you" Turning around "I give you my word I'm not a crow"

Ygritte signed taking a seat on the rocks "You really love her huh?"

"More than you'll ever know" I nodded

Ygritte rolled her eyes "Come sit I'm dressed now"

Nodding I moved over taking a seat on the rock as a waterfall fell in the back "I'm sorry" I nodded "You're beautiful but you are not my beautiful, you are strong but not my strong"

"Yeah…yeah I get it you love my Aunt"

I smirked "You're very much like you Aunt" I pointed out

"So my father says!" she smirked "You're a pretty boy Snow, she's lucky to have you in her life"

I smirked "No" I chuckled "I've always been the lucky one to have her and hey you're a kid"

"I'm a free women Jon"

"Sorry you're time will come when you find the one I'm just not it"

Ygritte smirked rolling her eyes "Tell me about it"

"Hey" I laughed bumping shoulders "Thought I was Pretty?"

"You were…not so much now" she smirked "So I have a question knowing she was captive, knowing your father was beheaded, knowing your sister are held captive how do you sit still at an ice wall?" she asked

"I tried to leave, but I was dragged back, if you break your oath you're declared a traitor and that a death sentence, you lose your head"

"But wouldn't you be a traitor now?" she raised an eyebrow

"Yes, but I don't care no more" I signed "And when you meet your Aunt Lillian you will understand why I don't care if I am marked a traitor"


	17. Chapter 17

**Lillian POV**

After nursing Derik I couldn't believe how much he had grown, his baby fat was no longer there; he was growing longer, his curling lock growing thicker. If any one were to look at him knowing Jon they would say he looked like his father.

"We should probably get something to eat Lil" Brent stood stretching his back "We have a long trip ahead of us"

"Okay let's go" Picking Derik up I placed him on my hip as we packed our things, heading down stairs to the dinning room it was filled with man, some elderly, some young.

"That's a beautiful baby" the maid smiled as she placed a jug of water in front of us.

"Thank you" I smiled

She nodded before walking away "So I heard some news after you turned in last night" Brent nodded

"News?" I questioned starring up at him.

"Robb camp is near. Battle occurs in two days we should reach him whilst his is the thick of it" Brent grinned

"You're to young for battle!" I stated

"Lillian I am not a boy anymore"

"I, I know" I nodded giving him the once over "But you are still my kid brother"

"Robb needs our help Lillian" he signed, "Lannister will out number us"

"The north are stronger" I shrugged "Outnumbered or not…but we may go as outside archers if it pleases you"

"Yes" he smirked "Rumour has it that he has wed and she is with baby" Brent shrugged eating some bread we were given.

"Well who would have thought we wouldn't see him wed" I shook my head the feeling of shook and change running through me "And she should not be beside him, she shouldn't be at war!" I signed, "Robb knows better"

"Tell him that when you see him!" Brent laughed, "Hit the king"

"Do more than hit the king of North" I smirked

"You'd be punished" Brent smirked

"Lets see the King of the North try!" I mocked, Brent giggling in suit, which caused Brent and myself to laugh out loud.

The sound of a giggle I had never heard ripped through the air, looking down at Derik my eyes widen as I saw him smiling "Did he just?"

"Oh my god" I smiled "Did you laugh… my little man?" I asked smiling at him "Is mummy and Uncle Brent funny ha are we?" I asked in a voice I only used once when the twins were little.

Derik laughed again "Little man you make a bad day good" Brent chuckled tickling his side.

"He is growing before our eyes" I shook my head placing him back in my lap.

"He growing and I'm gong to make a fine warrior out of him" he winked

The door opened my eyes travelled to two man, and I felt sick when I realised who it was, my blood boiled, I clenched Derik to me tighter, dagger radiating through my eyes.

"Lillian what is it?" Brent asked, his smile leaving his face turning to the door.

"Nothing" I whispered putting my head down

"Lillian Falls don't you lie to me, who are they?"

"Kings Landing soldiers" I shrugged

"Please stop" The bar wench hissed "Just take a seat"

"I know a place you can take a seat" The man winked clenching the poor lady ass tightly.

"Let go off me!" She hissed angrily pushing him away

He laughed before walking to a table, sitting right behind Brent. I looked at Brent his hands clenching his fork, veins popping out of his neck, his jaw tight and his eyes screamed fury "Brent" I hissed in warning.

"Did they?" he hissed through gritted teeth

"Brent" I signed

"Answer me"

"No"

"Lillian"

"Brent" Brent threw his axe on the table reaching over I grabbed his hand shaking my head no "Eat" I nodded "Please"

Brent eyes went from me to them to Derik. I knew he loved his nephew more than words can explain and I loved him even more for that, for being the best uncle he could be, not many would deliver their sister baby.

Brent relaxed nodding "Can't wait until Robb head on a spike, fucking northerners" Just like that Brent gripped his axe hard in his hand.

"Him and his slut of a mother" the other soldier chuckled

Brent stared at me death in his eyes, before I could say another word to distract Brent he was standing "Hi you don't like the north?" he questioned a smirk only I knew written on his face.

"Fucking hate it"

"Why?" he asked eating into an apple "I have my reason what's yours?"

"That slut Lillian main reason" I frowned now staring at the back of the man head "cut my fingers off" he showed his hand

"Did she?" Brent huffed "What a bitch"

"I" the other nodded "Been told she's out here somewhere and bringing her back well I'd have wealth"

The other man chuckled "Wealth that does sound nice" Brent nodded

"Join us could use another eye she's deadly. Eddard Stark trained her, say what you want that man was fierce"

"I heard she's lot like her father Lord Derik Falls, fierce guess she had the blood for training right" Brent chuckled

"I'd fuck her before returning her in every hole" the one with no fingers spat

"Fuck her?" Brent asked smirking

"Oh who wouldn't she's a beauty"

Before I could blink an axe was in the man head the other got up sword drawn at Brent, pulling my dagger I threw it hard into the back of his head, getting up I walked to where he was "Meet my brother Brent Falls" I whispered in his ear as I pulled the dagger out.

"FUCK YOU S-S-Slut" he splattered at blood falling to his knees

"Get out of here" The bar wench came up "Before they find you Lillian"

"You know who I am?" I questioned, staring at this girl

"I'm a northerner we protect our own" she nodded "Now take that baby somewhere safe, I'll get rid of these"

 **JON POV**

We arrived just before the wall "Used to be you couldn't find a tree within a mile of the Wall. Crows would come out every morning with axes" Tormund nodded

Orell stared at me "Your flock gets smaller every year"

"You ever climbed it before?" I asked Ygritte

"No. But Tormund's and father done it half a hundred times" Ygritte nodded "You're afraid" She asked

"Aren't you?" I questioned the wall was massive

"Aye" She replied, "It's a long way up and a long way down. But I've waited my whole life to see the world from up there" She stared up at the wall "Here, sit down. I brought a pair for you. They're too big for you, but they're good" she nodded handing me some spiked shoes for climbing.

"You kill someone for them?" I asked

"Nah. I didn't kill him, but I bet his balls are still bruised. He wasn't good to me"

"What happened?"

"He beat me" she shook her head "My father removed his head from his shoulders the day I almost died" she nodded

"Your Father loves you"

"And I him, but know this Jon Snow you're secret safe with me"

"What secret?" I questioned confused

"Do you think I'm as dumb as all those girls in silk dresses you knew growing up? You're loyal and you're brave. You didn't stop being a crow the day you walked into Mance Rayder's tent" She stated

"Ygritte"

"My father loves his siblings, loves my aunt Lillian…Night's Watch don't care if you live or die. Mance Rayder doesn't care if I live or die. We're just soldiers in their armies and there's plenty more to carry on if we go down. Don't betray me"

"I won't" I nodded

"Love my Aunty or not, you betray me I'll cut your pretty cock right off and wear it 'round my neck" Ygritte nodded tuning around to put her boot on.

"Sink your metal deep and make sure it holds before taking your next step. And if you fall, don't scream. You don't want that to be the last thing I tell my sister" Grant smiled patting my back.

…

Grant and Tormund lead the pack being experience climbers, looking down we were already so far up and my face was freezing "For the love of god protect me" I whispered.

"Heads up" before I could move chunk of ice hit me in the face making me slip. Digging my axe and boots in I came to a halt.

"You alright?" Ygritte yelled

"Seeing if you can take a hit lad," Tormund laughed than continued to climb.

"Why am I climbing last?" I mumbled under my breath "Oh that's right be a gentlemen and protect the little girl" rolling my eyes I threw my axe into the wall and continued to climb.

I heard the crack of ice looking up Ygritte had hit a pressure point within the ice. I watched in shock as the others fell. Grant holding his team for dear life, before I could blink ice hit me making me slip from the wall. Ygritte followed in suit.

"Have to cut them loose"

"NO" Tormund yelled

"I'll kill you if you do Orell" Grant voice yelled

Looking up Orell began to cut the rope frowning I began to swing back and forth I wasn't going to die like this I promised Lillian I would live and I'm going to. Swinging my legs back and forth.

"AH" Ygritte fell just as my axe dug into the ice wall, grunting my teeth I held on as she hung. Grabbing the rope I began to pull her up "Take my hand" I yelled, Ygritte grabbed my hand tightly pulling her up I hugged her quickly.

"Jon"

"Ygritte climb" I nodded

She nodded as we began to climb, the top in reach, "Got you sweetie" Grant voice was soft and filled with fear as he gripped Ygritte hand pulling her up. Gritting my teeth I dragged myself the rest of the way.

Looking up at the sky my heart was pounding, looking to the side Grant had Ygritte wrapped in a hug and kissing her forehead. Sitting up I could see south of the wall, a slow smile appeared on my face.

"Snow" looking up grant gave me his hand gripping it he pulled me up "Thank you, if I lost her-"

"No problem" I cut him off

 **Lillian POV**

Brent and I rode in silence, Derik asleep from the rocking of the horse "Just say it" Brent murmured, turning my head he was staring at me "I know you have something to say, your thoughts are basically screaming"

"You were stupid Brent!" I stated

"Are you serious?" he hissed "Those man attacked you"

"And lost they were lucky they got to tell the story of missing fingers" I hissed angrily "This road is dangerous, do you understand that?" I questioned

"Sister"

I signed, "I get it Brent you were protecting me, he hurt me and your instincts took over. I love you for that I do I swear but your safety means a lot to me, I need you, Derik needs you okay"

Brent clenched his jaw "I'm sorry it was reckless"

"It was but I understand" I nodded "Come on won't be long until we reach-"

"Shadow…Ice what is it boys" I questioned as our wolves growled at a person behind the tree. Frowning I dismounted my horse passing a sleeping Derik to Brent "Hold him"

"Didn't-"

"Shh" I whispered. Walking towards the rustling of leaves, Ice and Shadow growling at the tree. Walking in front of the wolves the flanked my sides following me, pulling my father sword out I stepped around the tree.

"I mean no harm please!" A lady begged

I still held my sword "Hello?" I questioned staring at the woman.

"I-I"

"Stop stuttering you're a grown women"

"Sister" Brent called

"Your out numbered you better come out" I nodded

"Please Ma'am I mean no harm, I am but a woman whose village was effected from the war, I swear to you I mean no harm"

"Come out" I nodded, She walked out shaking "Do you have weapons?" I asked

"No" her eyes screamed fear and truth

"How old are you?"

"I am 15"

"What is your name?"

"My name is Jaymie Snow"

"Your from the north?" I questioned,

"So my mother says" she shrugged

"Where is your mother?" Brent asked,

"She died, Lannister Soldier" My heart clenched at her loss.

"What you doing out here?" Brent wondered

"Hiding I thought you were a Lannister Spy" she whispered frighten, her whole body trembling.

"How do I know you speak the truth?"

"Because I don't want anything other than to live and maybe kill a Lannister or two" she hissed,

"Lillian Falls" I introduced myself

"Falls?" She questioned

"Yeah" I nodded

"Your mother name was Mary Falls, my mother was a maid at the castle, I was but a babe" she smiled

"You were born in icefalls?"

She nodded "Your lady, your lord" she nodded to Brent and myself

"Brent" Brent corrected

Lowering my sword I placed it back in its holster. Taking a step back I whistled and the wolves back up, jumping upon my horse I rode to Brent "Check her for weapons" Brent nodded passing me Derik.

"I don't have weapons" She called out

"Hands up" Brent ordered and began searching her "Sorry" he muttered as he searched her breast and ass "She is clean" he nodded

"Help her on your horse" I nodded

Brent nodded jumping on his horse, his hand outstretching waiting for her to take it "Your going to help me?"

"North always helps when you ask" I nodded

"I can't pay you"

"Just don't betray me" I shrugged kicking the horse moving on, I could hear Brent and Jaymie talking as we rode but I didn't pay attention my mind was set on getting to Robb. I just needed him, I couldn't explain it but his my best friend, and I need him.

….

You could hear it the loudness, the screams and battle calls. Jumping off my horse I stood upon a mountain staring down at the battle occurring. My eyes adjusted and spotting Robb fighting man off.

"Brent grab your bow" I called "Jaymie hold Derik and stay low inside the tree" she nodded grabbing Derik and hiding in the tree, tying the horses to the tree "Brent grab your bow, see those archers in the back" I asked

He nodded "take them down?" he asked

"I" I nodded

Brent and I ready our bows, and just like breathing we realised, arrow after arrow into Lannisters soldiers, watching them fall like flies "I have run out of arrows"

My eyes adjusted on those charging "Brent stay with Jaymie and Derik"

"Lily we are not going down there…you're not going down there"

"Robb needs me"

"Derik needs you" he yelled back

"Than I won't die"

"Lily" he signed, "I am coming with you" he growled

Turning my heel I walked up to our horse leaving one in front of Jaymie "Can I trust you?" I asked

"I" she nodded fear in her eyes

"If you betray me, betray my family my direwolf will rip your throat out" I stated

"I wont I give you my word" I stared her in the eyes slipping the dagger Jon gave me "If someone comes strike hard and fast and if it's a northerner state you're Brent Betrothal"

Leaning forward I kissed Derik head "Momma be back soon" I whispered to my sleeping baby.

Gripping Brent hand he helped me on the horse, a loud whistle running through us "We have no armour Brent so strike and protect yourself" I muttered in his ear.

Shadow and Ice ran beside us as we headed down to the mountain, bending down I grabbed the Stark banner holding it, as I charged up the side of house Mormont.

Brent and I began swinging jumping off my horse I stood beside Dacey Mormont as she stood with Robb "Lillian" Robb gasped.

Ice and Shadow joining their brother Greywind tearing Lannisters down that dared come near us. Stabbing the man from behind Robb, I removed my sword from his throat.

Sword hit sword, metal on metal. Body screamed in agony, soldiers fell and I was covered in blood as the sun fell, so did the last soldier. I stared my eyes finding Brent removing his sword from a soldier.

"You live?" Robb stated 

"I live" I stated

He chuckled coming closer his hands wrapping around me his laugh erupting on the battlefield "I have missed you" he whispered "I have missed you so much"

Stepping back I could feel the lords of the north staring at me, but I didn't care as my hand connected with Robb cheek "Ouch" he frowned

"Lillian" Brent groaned riding up to us

"She hit our king," someone yelled angrily

Robb shook the anger man down laughing; "sure I deserved it" he nodded

"I…your wife is with baby and you, you keep her at war?" I questioned fiercely

He chuckled "Come sister" he threw his hand over my shoulder, his other hand going over Brent "God she can still hit" he muttered to Brent.

"Oh I know" Brent chuckled

"Look at you, you have grown" He nudged Brent "Come man, lets return to camp, collect what is needed"

"Lillian I will be back" Brent nodded slipping from Robb hold "Meet you at the camp"

…

We rode to the camp and I saw Lady Stark smile but her eyes turned to me as I

Rode behind Robb, the camp cheered at our arrival "Lady Falls and Lord Falls came to our rescue" Dacey Mormont cheered patting me on the back.

Brent finally rode beside us, getting off the back off Robb horse I went over grabbing Derik from Jaymie, she smiled passing me my dagger "Thank you Jaymie I have much respect for you" helping Jaymie down from the back of Brent.

"Brent and Lillian Falls were guardians in the war, came to our aid taking down archers" Robb spoke "We fought and we won. Three Direwolves stand beside us and house Falls whom only little but strong"

I felt Lady Stark eyes on Derik I held him closer, cheers of the camp erupted and a small celebration began. It didn't take long until I had found myself in Robb tent staring at his wife with a swollen belly and lady Stark.

"Mommy" Brent smiled wrapping Lady stark in a hug "I have missed you"

"And I you son, look how grown you are" She laughed rubbing his muscles "And you Lily"

"Thank you mother" I nodded

"I don't mean to be harsh but war is no place for a baby" Turning I stared at the women standing behind Robb, her eyes looking at me to my child.

"I'm sorry-," I hissed

"Lily she didn't mean anything by it" Robb stated 

"Lily stop it" Brent hissed hitting the back of my head

"Sorry" I shook my head "I just can't wrap my head around how some one can be so quick to judge me yet she here she stands at war with a belly full of her own babe"

"I am sorry if I offended you" She took a deep breath

"You spoke your mind nothing wrong with that" I shrugged "But don't preach what you don't follow"

Brent hand rested on my shoulder ribbing them, I felt tensing rubbing away "Well dear wife you now have meet my sharp tongue best friend" Robb chuckled "Stop worrying she means no harm"

"No I mean no harm, I would rather die than break Robb heart, your family" I smiled standing to my feet "May I?" I asked, she nodded as my hand touched her belly getting down "You're going to be born in a hard time little one, but remember your Aunty Lillian will always be there for you, always protect you" I whispered "I love you already little one"

Looking up at Talisa "Thank you"

"Thank you, for pulling this curly haired king of the north into line" I laughed ruffing his curly auburn locks up.

"Lillian" Turning my head to Catelyn her eyes screamed with unknown questions "Arya and Sansa?"

"I helped Arya escape but when Ned was beheaded I charged for Joffrey Sansa fainted and they kept her hostage but Arya was told to go to the wall, but if you haven't heard from Jon I don't know where Arya is" I whispered

"How did you escape?" Robb asked

"Brent saved me" I smiled at my little brother "During Stannis first attack"

"Brent?" He questioned, I nodded "What a good brother"

"Just sorry I couldn't save Sansa" Brent nodded guilt eating him

"Why couldn't you" Lady stark asked

"She was with Cersei and it was heavily guarded, Tyrion got me to Lillian" Brent nodded

"I thought I'd never see you again, I thought you were dead" Robb whispered his tears swelling in his eyes begging to slip "Joffrey wrote what he had done to you, what his man had done to you and what he was going to do to Sansa"

I to fought the tears swelling at the memory "Sorry you had to read it"

"Lillian whom baby is that" Talisa asked standing behind Robb

"He is mine"

"I'm so sorry" She shook her head "Sorry you had to have a baby from rape"

"I didn't" Brent smirked knowingly but the starks around me stood confused "This child is Jon's"

"Sorry" Robb asked

"This is your brothers" I commented

"Half brother" Lady Catelyn spat

"No" I stood angrily "Don't you dare…He is Robb brother he always has been…before I left Jon and I laid together"

Lady Catelyn opened her mouth only to close it "Maybe we should hit the hay Lil" Brent interrupted hatting the look I was giving Lady Stark for her words on Jon.

"You are free to share this tent" Robb nodded 

Brent nodded kissing Lady Stark and Derik. Touching Jaymie shoulder they both went to lie down for sleep. Talisa and Lady stark left too leaving Robb and I alone "Can't believe you hit your King" Robb mocked

"I'll do it again" I smirked

"I have missed you, I have missed you so much" he smiled, I felt safe being here with Robb "So this is Jon baby, does he know?" he asked leaning forwards touching Derik face "Can I?" Nodding I passed Derik to him.

"You're going to make a good dad" I nodded

"I hope so, what is his name?"

"Derik"

"After your father" he nodded "Strong name for a strong baby, can't wait to watch him grow"

"Me either"

"And Jon he would want to know Lillian"

"Probably" I shrugged

Robb stared at me his blue eyes casting over me "I wish he didn't take the lack I could use my brother right now" he nodded

"Mmm" I agreed

"How long are you going to travel with us?"

"For a while but not long, I need to see Nadine"

"Makes sense" his jaw clenched "Well she is almost due as you see, and I worry. I worry about her and the baby"

"Okay" I frowned confused

"I am going to ask you something and I need you to consider it"

"Stop speaking in riddles Robb"

"Talisa won't leave my side and her leaving will leave me weak"

"What are you asking?"

"If I can convince her I want you to take my child, raise him or her until this war is over"

"And if you fall"

"Help Talisa raise him"

"And if you both fall?" I questioned

"Than be his mother, tell him great stories of our past, tell him his mother was strong and beautiful, she was a healer" Bitting my lip "I beg you"

"Well you better get on your knees King of the North and start begging" I smirked

Robb chuckled shaking his head "He is beautiful Lil, he looks just like Jon but he has my eyes"

"My eyes" I corrected

Robb laid Derik down and the three Direwolves cuddled into my child. I felt safe leaving my baby with them knowing that such large creatures would protect him to their deaths, they were loyal.

"You were a great help on the battle field"

"Felt good to fight" I nodded "I had some built up anger"

"I could tell when your sword completely beheaded a man" I shivered at that it was so real.

Silence filled the air comfortable silence "May I ask you something"

"Ask away"

"What happened? What happened in Kings Landing?"

Taking a deep breath I sipped on the wine in front of me "Your father found out that Joffrey wasn't the rightful king, his honour took over and for that he was betrayed and marked traitor. Winterfell soldiers were butchered" I gulped "Jory butchered"

"I had Arya with me at the time and we escaped. Your father went against his honour and marked himself a traitor saying he would take the black but Joffrey didn't see mercy and took his head" I shook my head a slow tear falling down my cheek.

"I had never felt more pain than watching what they did to him" I admitted, "A man who raised me, sheltered me, fathered me. Beheaded"

Robb hand found mine and I didn't flinch I looked up at him his eyes crying too "I want Derik last name to be Stark" he nodded "I command it"

"What?"

"He is a stark, Jon is a stark…you're a stark" he nodded


	18. Chapter 18

Brent and I rode beside Robb; we fought and moved with the lords of the north. Welcomed by all "I hope to see a wedding" Turning my head to Gregor Forrester "I hope to see Nadine and Ethan marry"

"As do I, think we deserve some type of happiness in our lives" I nodded

"Just better treat her right, or I'll get him" Brent mocked over hearing the conversation.

WE were riding to riverrun to pay our respect to Lady Catelyn father and Robb grandfather as he had passed away. Lord Hoster Tully was a very respected man. The ceremony didn't go for to long and after that Derik and I found ourselves sitting by the fire inside whilst the northern camp laid on the grass, setting camp.

The Northern lords didn't like the move but they followed their king. I laughed as my son began reaching at me pulling himself up, only to fall from wobbly legs.

"You're too little Derik" I laughed

But he only returned my words with a smile and another attempt to stand on his own "Never to late to learn little man" Robb voice boomed taking Derik little hands as he walked backwards Derik following like a drunk man leaving a tavern.

I watched Derik he had grown so much, crawling, sitting on his own yet not one word has slipped his lips yet, I didn't push anything but it hurt to see him missing milestones. Knowing that he will live and die at that ice wall.

"Lillian you okay?" Robb asked staring at me Derik on his hip

"I am fine" I shook my head

"You're thinking of him, of Jon"

"Hard not to when I look at Derik" I shrugged

"I wish he never left, I wish none of us left Winterfell"

"I agree, but than again at least one good thing came out of all of this" I shrugged "You meet your wife Queen of the North"

Robb shook his head a smile playing on his lips "You love using the titles don't you" he shook his head "Now stop being mean and I need to have a real conversation"

"Real conversation?" I asked eyebrow raised

"So I might or might not have seen your brother pressing a certain person to a tree and if I didn't step in things would have got pretty heated"

"God talk about being a cock block" I chuckled

"Hey we have to babies we don't need three"

"I" I nodded "Robb where is Theon?" I questioned "I knew he would have came with you but his not here. What happened?"

Robb whole demeanour changed, his eyes grew angry he placed Derik down as his knuckles clenched and unclenched "I had asked him to seek alliance from his father, I sent him and he betrayed me. Marched on Winterfell and took it"

"Why?" I questioned

"What I want to know, he killed Ser Rodrik and burned Bran and Rickon" his jaw clenched

Standing up I walked towards Robb wrapping my arms around him tightly, he began to break, wrapping his arms around me tears flowing down his cheeks as his breath was choppy "Not fair they were boys"

"He'll pay, he'll pay for what he has done to our family," I whispered a tear falling down my cheek.

I don't' know how long we stood there hugging each other, how long we cried but the sound of coughing made us pull apart "Can I help you?" I asked as Robb wiped his tears fixing himself up.

"Your Grace the Frey's are here"

"I'll be back soon" Robb nodded squeezing my hand I nodded going over to Derik who was playing with Greywind and Shadow. Lying down next to the wolves, shadow licked my face.

"I know boy I miss him too" I stated "Derik sweetie want to hear a story…story about your dad" I asked bringing him over to me laying him down on the furs on the floor, my hand running through his black curly locks.

"Your father is a brave man, he was born a bastard which isn't a nice word what so ever. But due to being born the way he was he didn't feel like he belonged and after confessing out love he still kept his word" I signed

"Your father is brave, he is strong, he is loyal and honourable. I know he is doing great things and I hope you grow to be so much like him. I love your daddy but I'm mad" I confessed "I am so mad at him but I love him"

Derik smiled at me "Mummy"

My breath caught "yeah" I smiled "Mummy" bending down I kissed my little boy cheek "Derik I need you to know that I will die before anyone lays a harmful finger on you…you will always be protected" 

Bitting back the emotions Derik eyes began to flutter close, his little body curling into me. I smiled this child, my boy was my saviour, he was my light because trust me I feel everything they did everyday no matter how good I am blocking it out I feel it.

"Protect him Shadow always" I whispered rubbing Shadow head.

….

"I don't trust Walter Frey" Brent shrugged "His unpredictable and would stab you in the back"

"I agree Brent Right" I nodded from the table where I was nursing under a sheet.

"It's the only way"

"I don't think it is Robb, Marrying is not the only way"

"What is it that you wish I do?" he asked

"Just be smart, it was you they wanted and you married Talisa" I stared at her "As much as she's beautiful and I get being in love you betrayed your word his going to betray you"

"Sister right his not trust worthy" Brent shrugged

"Is there any other way?" Robb signed, "I know I betrayed my word but I'm giving them someone else they wanted"

"Yep like I said I don't trust him and Talisa you're with child you shouldn't be going"

"I agree with Lillian and Brent" Lady Stark came into the room "It's dangerous beyond dangerous, it could be a great wedding or a cruel joke"

"Not meant to hurt your feelings Talisa, I wouldn't dare but I will not lie, you need to understand that" I nodded "Also Brent and I will be leaving soon"

"Leaving?" Robb frowned "But-"

"I would fight and die beside you Robb but I will not let my child grow up without parents, it's not fair"

"Lillian Falls motherhood kicked in" Brent shrugged

"So you won't be attending the wedding?" Talisa asked

"No we won't and if you'd like you may come" I nodded "You're almost ready to pop and as a mother I believe you should protect your unborn child"

"Will see" She nodded looking down at her swelling stomach, it was like a instinct and Robb hands were rubbing her shoulder, it made me smile to see it, made me miss what I could have had.

….

I stared at Lady Stark as she sat on the floor playing with Derik, Robb had King duties to attend to, Talisa went to bed and Jaymie and Brent were probably doing something frowned upon.

Walking over I smiled at my little man "Hey little guy" he just laughed playing with Shadow tail "Lady Stark can I ask you something" I asked,

"You may" she nodded looking at me

"Why?" I questioned, "You hated him, why?"

"Ned he cheated on me and brought home a baby he just wanted me to protect"

"He was but a child, it wasn't his fault" I shrugged

"Your right and I vow to write my wrongs, he was Ned son and he loved him"

"Your right" I nodded "About one thing"

"I'm sorry"

I signed "before Ned beheading he told me something, something he wanted me to pass on to Jon when I saw him" I commented, "His last name isn't Snow"

"He wanted it to be stark?" she asked

"No technically his more Stark than you are" I looked at her, she stared in confusion "It was Lyanna baby"

Lady stark stared at me "What?"

"He promised to say it was his so Robert Baratheon wouldn't kill him, its Lyanna baby she died having him"

"Oh my god I-I-I"

"Yeah but write your wrongs, because you have always been a mother to us and Derik will need a Grandmother" I whispered,

"I promise" she nodded tears streaking her face

"He told me to tell you one last thing"

"That is?"

"He loves you with all his heart and he never meant to hurt you" I nodded. Tears flowed like a river, reaching out I hugged her tightly to my chest, my hand patting her head "Shh"

"LILLIAN, MOTHER COME QUCIK" Robb yelled sliding into the room panic in his voice.


	19. Chapter 19

I leant back covered in sweat, blood and relief. It took many hours but finally in the early morning another miracle in life laid before me "It's a boy" I smiled as I wrapped the little bundle of joy in my arms and furs.

Drying the blood off his little pale skin, Robb cut the cord as I placed him on Talisa bare chest. The smile of relief I knew it, the pure happiness I knew it, it was motherhood "Thank you" Robb whispered kissing my forehead

"Your welcome" I smiled "I'm going to leave you two alone for a little while, come check on you later" I nodded standing up for what felt like a long time. All my muscles screamed with joy to finally stretch.

Walking out of the room Jaymie was holding Derik, Jaymie had grown on me and very much grown on Brent, the way his eyes follow her when he spoke it made me fill full inside, knowing my little brother was, is happy.

Brent eyes connected with mine and as if I knew what his eyes asked, "It was a boy" I nodded

He smiled leaning back on his chair, smiling I went to my bedchambers and began drawing a bath to wash my body. As I stripped off my clothes I stared at myself and shivered in disgust.

My once pure untouchable body was now covered in scars and bruises that hadn't healed. It screamed pain and agony. Would Jon love this if he seen it? Or would he turn me away? I wasn't perfect anymore! I wasn't a pretty sight.

Lowering my head I jumped into the bath the hot water greeting my skin like an old friend. Closing my eyes I grabbed the sponge and began wiping Talisa birth blood of my skin.

When I was done I stood dressing quickly, this time my eyes didn't connect with the mirror, I could read every scar, every mark and tell you what happened but this wasn't the time for it.

Heading out of the room I walked down the corridor and to the dinning room for breakfast taking a seat I began to eat, my eyes scanning to Derik who was now sitting on his uncle lap smiling at me "Good morning baby boy"

"Momma" He laughed

"What you say little man" Brent laughed "Uncle Brent?"

"Momma" Derik Laughed

Laughing, "You wish" I smirked

"Momma" It was pure happiness to my ears

Brent stood bringing Derik, taking him I attacked him with kisses, receiving my own kiss from Brent on my head "Going to ready our horses we're leaving today"

Nodding "Get an extra horse for Jaymie, and if Robb argues tell him I delivered his baby. Jaymie go get yourself ready unless you want to stay here?"

"No I want to come" she nodded

"Okay go get ready" Holding my little man I walked to Talisa and Robb room, Knocking before I entered I heard Robb deep voice say come in. Pushing the door in I entered "How are you two going?" I asked

"Good" Talisa smiled staring at her little boy

"His beautiful" I whispered sitting on the bed so I can see him better

"Thank you Lillian, Thank you so much"

"Hey your family" I nodded "And we got to stick together"

"Um ask her" Talisa nodded "Please Robb"

Frowning Robb stood "Can we talk?" Robb asked

"Um Sure" Following him out of the room, Derik on my hip "What is it Robb?"

"What you said Talisa and my Son are my weakness and I'm at war" he signed "Talisa is refusing to leave my side and I can't withdraw myself from this war, but my son"

"Robb" I frowned

"War is no place for a child"

"I have a bounty on my head Robb you really want to risk your child life? Tell your wife to leave your side"

"I know you will protect him, your one of the fierce fighters I've ever seen, they will sing songs about you and fear you Lillian Falls" he signed "I've tried to get her to leave with the baby, she's going to say he died in child birth" he lowered his head "So no one will look for him during this war"

"And after Robb what about after this war?"

"I'll come for him"

"And if you fall, if both of you fall Robert than what? He grows up without parents?" I signed "Talisa needs to leave your side you can say she died in child birth Robert that way your son can have a mother if god help you fall"

"I tried" Robb stared a slow tear falling down his cheek "She's refusing" he gulped "She doesn't want our child to be captured, hurt or worse killed"

I stared at Robert "If you both fall I will mother him like his my own and when his older I will tell him how brave use were" I nodded holding back a tear "I don't trust Walter Frey and neither should you"

"What is it you would like me to do?" he asked

"Stay alive" I shrugged "All I'm asking is to stay alive"

Robb pulled me to him "I love you sister, protect my son, protect my brother, protect my nephew and protect yourself" he nodded "And if I fall save Talisa and if Talisa falls save me but if we both fall Save Ned"

"Ned?" I questioned

"My sons name Ned"

"Named after great man" I nodded "Okay I'll do it"

"Thank you"

"I will do what I can but I need something from you" I nodded

"What?" he asked

"You're not going to like it"

"Lillian?"

…

"Are you sure?" Robb asked,

"Yes I'm sure" Robb nodded releasing a huff as he released crows in all different directions "You're going to break his heart"

"Only fair he broke mine" I shrugged "Time to go, say your goodbyes" Robb took a deep breath nodding following me to the horses, I jumped up on mine. Brent holding Derik.

I stared at him as he held onto his son, to everyone he was the strong wise king of the north but to me his Robb and Robb was leaving his first born and his uncertain of what will come of him.

Gulping back the tears Robb passed me little Ned, putting him in the sling Derik use to lay in "I'll die before anyone hurts him Robb I promise"

Robb nodded grabbing his wife hand, which was holding nothing back, tears streaming down his face "Go" she whispered, "Please go"

Nodding I kicked my horse and we moved, I heard her wail turning my head they both had collapsed to the ground, bitting my lips I continued to move forward. My spare hand soothing little Ned cries for his parents.


	20. Chapter 20

**Jon POV**

I had returned back to Winterfell, I had betrayed grant and Ygritte. But I knew I would it was a matter of survival. But now I stare out the window my heart heavy with pain.

"Last time I saw him was the courtyard at Winterfell, he said next time I see you you'll be all in black…. I was jealous of Robb my whole life. The way my father looked at him, I wanted that. He was better than me at everything. Fighting and hunting, and riding and girls" I smirked pulling on my shirt

"Of course the girl loved him!" Sam acknowledged,

"I wanted to hate him but I never could" I admitted

"Sometimes I want to hate you…well your better than me everything accept reading…there um ready for you" Sam muttered sadness in his tone.

"His Wanted to hang me for a while, now his chance" I nodded turning towards the door

"No ones going to hang you, you've done nothing wrong" Sam stated

"I've done plenty wrong!" I signed

Walking into the dinning room I stared at all the people, my brothers "So you admit you murdered Qhorin Half-hand?" Alliser Thorne huffed

"I didn't murder him!" I stated

Alliser stared at me "No?" he questioned, "You put your sword through a brother of the Night's Watch. What do you call that?"

"He wanted me to kill him!" I stated

"A bastard son of a traitor. What would you expect?" Janos Slynt stated. I wanted nothing more than to kill him, how dare he speak of my father, he was no traitor.

"The Half-hand believed our only chance to stop Mance was to get a man inside his army"

"Don't talk about the Half-hand as if you knew him. He was my brother" Alliser hissed angrily at me.

"Then you'd know he'd do anything to defend the Wall. The free folk would have boiled him alive, but letting me kill him-"

"The free folk? Listen to him. He even talks like a wildling now" Slynt snorted,

"Aye, I talk like a wildling. I ate with the wildlings. I climbed the Wall with the wildlings, I fought with the Wildlings"

"You admit to breaking your vows, then?" Slynt asked,

"I do" I nodded

"The law is the law. The boy must die" Slynt nodded

"If we beheaded every ranger who broke there vows the Wall would be manned by headless men" Aemon spoke

"There's a difference between sneaking off to the Mole's Town brothel and fighting along side a wildling, they're our enemy"

"While we sit here debating which rules I broke, Mance Rayder marches on the Wall with an army of 100,000. Impossible" I cut in

"You can't get 50 wildlings together before they start killing each other" Alliser noted

"100,000. He's united the Thenns, the Hornfoots, and the ice-river clans. He has giants fighting for him"

Slynt laughed "Giants?" He questioned,

"Have you ever been beyond the Wall, ser?" I asked

"I commanded the City Watch of King's Landing, boy" he spat

"And now you're here" I smirked "You must not have been very good at your job"

"How dare you!" Slynt growled standing to his feet

"There's a band of wildlings south of the Wall already led by Tormund Giantsbane. I killed their warg and three others. They shot me full of arrows. Their orders are to attack Castle Black from the south when Mance hits it from the north. The signal for the attack will be a bonfire. Mance said it would be the greatest fire the North has ever seen. That's the truth. All the truth. Do you intend to execute me or am I free to go?" I questioned.

"None of us are free. We are men of the Night's Watch. But we won't be taking your head today, Jon Snow. Go on" Aemon nodded standing to his feet. Turning on my heels I left the food hall.

I let out a sign of relief, walking back to my bedchamber Sam was holding something in his hand "What's that?" I asked my eyes going to the script

"It's got your house Sigil on it" Sam whispered "I got it whilst use were at the meeting, no one has read it" Sam stood handing it to me.

My hand won't over the seal the direwolf sigil staring at me, taking a deep breath I opened it to see handwriting I knew. Taking a seat I began to let scan the paper reading the words.

 _Jon,_

 _My dearest brother I come to you with sad news. Lillian did escape Kings landing but she fell ill to an infection. I'm sorry I could not tell you in person but Lillian has passed, her last words were she loves you and live on for her memory. I'm sorry and I love you brother be safe._

 _Your brother_

 _Robb Stark._

I gulped back every emotion that was going through me, my knuckled turning white from clutching to tight, my jaw hurting from the pressure of my teeth gripped closed together.

"What is it? Jon?"

Looking up "She's dead, Lillian she died SHE FUCKING DIED" I screamed rage over coming me. Tables began to be flipped, my bed kicked and pulled apart. Sliding down the wall "Sam they should of hung me" I shook my head "My brother dead, My love is dead, my father is dead" I looked up at him "How do I live on for her memory?" I asked

Sam knelt down "Won't be easy but I'm here" Sam nodded

….

I stood in the food hall my hand on a child soldier as his head was lowered in fear and hurt "We need to teach them a lesson about the way we deal with their kind" Yarwyck yelled

"Aye! Aye!" Man yelled agreeing

"Dozen bodies with slit throats tossed off the top of the Wall. Seems like that would be a good lesson," Yarwyck yelled again.

"Aye!" My brothers cheered,

"If we go after them, we'll be giving them what they want. They want to draw us out, pick us off a few at a time" Alliser stated,

"We have just over 100 men. And that's including stewards and builders. And me. We can't afford to lose a single man. We must remember our first responsibility. We are the watchers on the Wall" Aemon spoke behind us

"There's got to be a way to protect them," Pyp stated,

"You're a champion of the common people, Lord Snow. What do you say to brother Pyp's proposition?" Alliser asked staring at me.

"Mance Rayder is coming. If the wildlings breach the Wall, they'll roll over everything and everyone for 1,000 miles before they reach an army that can stop them" I nodded

"We need to shore up Castle Black and we need to defend the Wall. That is our job" Alliser agreed

Sound of a horn blowing "Rangers returning" Someone yelled

"Help him!" Someone yelled

"Thought you'd have blue eyes by now" Eddison stated as I carried his limp body through the tunnels.

"What took you so long?" Alliser asked,

"We were held up" Grenn huffed

"By what?" Alliser asked

"Chains" Grenn huffed

"We were guests of the mutineers at Craster's Keep" Eddison huffed

"And the mutineers stayed?" I asked,

"They're not going anywhere. They've got Craster's food and his wives. Dolorous" Grenn signed

"Poor girls. Never thought they'd miss their daddy. Karl's running things now. He's the one who put a knife through Craster's mouth" Eddison informed us

"We need to ride north and kill them all" I signed

"We just went over this, boy" Alliser stated, "Justice can wait"

"It's not about justice. I told the wildlings we had over 1000 men at Castle Black alone. Karl and the others know the truth as well as we does. How long do you think they'll keep that information to themselves when the wildlings are peeling their fingernails off? Mance has all he needs to crush us; he just doesn't know it yet. As soon as he gets his hands on them, he will. Then he'll throw his full strength at us. And even if every one of us kills 100 wildlings, there's still not a thing we can do to stop them. I don't think I can kill 100 wildlings," I signed

"I don't think I can kill 100 wildlings," Pyp signed.

...

I feel nothing but agony and pain. How do you breath when the reason for breathing is gone. My Lillian gone? It didn't make sense all her life she's been tough. She's put Robb and Myself on our ass and now, now she's gone and I betrayed her brother and the wildlings.

Taking a deep breath I pushed myself off my bed and headed out into the courtyard were my brothers were training. Stepping up I began to help Grenn with his practice.

My head was all over the place my heart was broken. If we didn't leave everything would be okay, Lillian alive probably my wife and mother of my child. The thought of that stung she didn't even have the opportunity to have a child, she would have been the best mother I've ever seen and now, now.

"And again" I called shaking the thought as I moved forward of Grenn the sound of swords hitting each other "very nice…a lot of wildlings fight with weapon in each arm" I gave Grenn another sword "First thing you want to do is disarm them to even the odds" Grenn and I began hitting and before we knew it I pressed the practice sword to Grenn throat.

Grenn laughed, "Let see what you can do" looking up Ollie moved forward, a child the same age as Brann

"I can fight"

"Have you ever held a sword before?"

"I was the best archer in our hamlet" men laughed, "I was!"

"I believe you. We'll go hunting for rabbits one day. Right now, watch and learn" Grenn nodded

"You two. Take it slow, try and disarm each other" I pointed too two man. I watched them smart the man a smile on his face, but before the other could turn he was knocked out.

"You know how to fight. You could have gone easier on him" I stared at him

"He wouldn't have learned anything that way" he nodded

"Lord Snow" Lifting my head to Alliser "What do you think you're doing?"

"Grenn and I were helping them"

"Grenn's a ranger" he stated, "You're a steward. Maybe you forgot that while you were off with your wildling's"

"Someone has to train them" I shrugged

"And that someone isn't you. Go find a chamber pot to empty" I took a deep breath staring him in the eyes closing the gap between us "Go on. Do it. You traitor's bastard. Give me an excuse. Mormont's not here to protect you now" shaking my head I walked away from him.

 **Lillian POV**

My head was spinning, my mind racing and my heart breaking. It was like anything I got close to died, anything I called family died. Closing my eyes I let the night air kiss my cheeks "Lily…Lily" lifting my head "Derik wants you and Ned not settling" taking a deep breath, I stood.

Walking into the tent I stared at Brent trying to hold it together, trying to sooth Ned and get Derik to sleep. Taking Ned from Brent arms he signed dragging his knees to his chest.

Pulling Derik up into my arms I began to hum the song my mother use to sing to me and it didn't take long until they slowly drifted off to sleep and Brent began to cry "Not fair" he muttered in a hush tone.

Lying both the boys down I crawled over to my little brother it was then I remembered regardless of how big he was how old he was he was yet a little boy, my little brother. Forced to grow up.

Pulling Brent into my arms his tears began to fall easily now "I know, I know"

Looking away I saw Jaymie "In the morning we're going to train you need to learn to fight"

"Fight?" Brent asked

"Yes and will be heading north to collect Nadine"

Brent was now frowning at me "Why?"

"Because she's safer with us Brent look what happened, look at all that is dead Brent. I'm not going to let our little sister meet the same fate. The Forresters have fallen which means Ethan is Lord of Iron Wrath, to much for a little boy and unsafe for Nadine"

"Your right" Brent nodded wiping his eyes

"Ice Stay, Shadow come on boy" I whistled grabbing my father sword and archery gear.

"Where you going?" Brent asked

"Just going to find some breakfast stay with the boys"

"Can I come?" Jaymie asked

"Um" looking at Brent he shook his head "No I need some alone time"

"Okay" she nodded disappointed lying back down.

Stepping out of the tent Shadow walked with me, how is it everything around me is dying. My parents are dead, Grant could be dead I haven't seen him since the gods know when, the parents who took me in both dead, and my adoptive brother head removed from his body dead.

I felt the agony of my loss and my thoughts wondered why? Why is everything I touched doomed why? Falling to my knees I looked up at the moon hoping Jon was watching looking up at the same moon.

Running my hand through my hair "Help us gods I pray to all seven of you, the new and old help us. We pray in your names, we walk in your grace. I have no idea what picture you're painting for me but please help me rise, help me breath help me protect my family" I whispered "I stand for use even in this heart ache I stand, help me out of the valley of darkness I have fell in, help me rise my gods, help me rise" standing up I wiped my eyes.

Shadow and I began to walk through the night looking for something to eat "Oh I swear I lifted his wolf head and placed it on the spike" My body stopped dead in its tracks.

"No you didn't"

"Aye I did"

"Yeah you and every other man in the kingdom"

I couldn't stop myself I began moving my hand grabbing an arrow my bow ready, I didn't quiver, I didn't think, I didn't stop it moved so slow and a relief ran through me and just like that he dropped off the log, he was now lying on the ground with an arrow in the back of his head.

"What the fuck?" the other yelled grabbing his sword

Moving out of the bushes I stared at the man "Hi, heard you killed Robb Stark"

"No-no not me"

"Sure heard you and your little friend joking about. What you can't man up to it now?"

"Put down your arrow little girl and I'll show you how much a man I am" he winked

"Sure lets see" I nodded pulling my father sword from its holster, putting my arrow back in its quiver "Ready little boy?"

"Born ready" he smirked licking his lip disgustingly.

He began to move his footwork giving up what he was doing, stopping his attacks I felt the sting and the dirty smirk, hissing at the pain he repelled my sword away and kicked me on the ground.

"Well do you admit defeat? Do I win?"

Popping up on my elbow I smirked a smirk only god knew and loved "I guess you win"

"Going to have to make you pay you know for my friend" he winked nodding at his manhood

"Sounds fair but before than let's have fun" I winked biting my lip

He chuckled lowering himself onto the ground, my hand reached behind my back "Going to make you be-"

Pushing him off me I rolled on top the dagger going into his chest over and over. My heart was racing, my blood boiled he made no more sounds he had left this world but I still continued over and over.

I was mad, I was angry, the sound of shadow barking at me was what made me stop. Jumping up I was broken. Stepping over the dead body I was covered in blood. Picking up my weapons "Come shadow" with that I walked away.

"Lily?" looking up it was Jaymie "Y-Your covered, what happened?" she asked stepping closer "What have you done?"

Placing my hand on her cheek "We should probably get some sleep, we leave first light," I muttered taking a seat beside Ned and Derik


	21. Chapter 21

**Brent POV**

I stared at my sister as she rode with the boys, Derik sitting on the horse and Ned lying in here arms, she was skinner than when we were with Robb, her eyes had massive dark bags under them and she lost the will to smile even at Derik and Ned.

It was as if when we heard the news she had broke, losing Robb, lady Catelyn and Talisa was the final click to push her over the edge. She was walking around like death and I wasn't the only one who noticed.

I couldn't imagine the world of pain she was in, the pain riding through her. I knew her pain I knew what it felt like to lose someone, I wept the day Ned died, and wept the day we heard the news of Robb, Catelyn, Talisa and the North.

But I don't feel her pain; I have no idea what it felt like to bury our parents, to have our home taken from us. I have no idea how she felt watching the only other father figure we had in our life be beheaded in front of her. I have no idea what it was like to constantly be on my toes every night or to be raped.

Lillian is like no other she is strong, beautiful and together. But as I look her she is nothing but an empty shell. No life in her eyes, no giggle in her smile. I miss my sister; I miss how she always brought happiness into my life.

All our lives my big sister has faced heart ache and for the first time she's changed, She's broken and I don't know if I can fix it but I knew who could.

"So your sister is she like you" Jaymie asked riding beside me

"She's a lot like me just nicer, she lives in a fairy tale" I shrugged

"What's wrong with a fairy tale?" Jaymie asked

"Fairy tale's get you killed Jaymie" I stared at her seriously "This world they're no such thing as a happy ending"

Jaymie stared down at the ground my words hurting her "Can I ask you something?"

"You may" I nodded

"Lillian" I looked up at my elder sister who was riding way out of ear range "She wasn't like this was she? Short while I've known use I can see her changing"

"No she smiled more, it's been hard road for Lillian but even with all this death it won't take myself or the boys to save Lillian"

"Who will save her?"

"Jon" I nodded

"Jon?"

"My sisters love, he means everything to her"

"Where is he?" she asked

"He took the black"

"What did he do?"

"Nothing he believed she deserved more than a bastard regardless of how they felt he asked her to move on, to find a new man" I signed

"What did she say?"

"Probably to shut the fuck up" I shrugged a smirk on my face

"Really Brent?"

"Really" I chuckled "My sister raised us with an iron fist and a loving heart. We would have died if it wasn't for her, she saved Nadine and myself…she's a tough lady so yes she probably did tell Jon to shut the fuck up"

"Poor Lillian" Jaymie signed

"Whatever you do don't pity her, be your worse mistake you'll ever make" I nodded

 **Lillian POV**

Hardest thing for me is to ride around holding these two and feeling nothing. They brought pain when I looked upon them, Derik black curly hair and Ned brown curly locks, brought me heart ache, they were there fathers and I, I was broken.

Derik name day is soon approaching, and it saddens me that his own father had missed so much. His first smile and his first word. This child of mine knew that in the night not to scream or cry, what child has to think its better to be quiet than to run around?

Ned, Ned looks at me as if I'm his mother, she should have left, Robb should of listened Brent and I informed him it was trick and now, now he lies in a different world, his a watcher of this world never to return.

Shaking my head I looked up at the sign we weren't far from Ironrath now, I couldn't wait to see Nadine to hug her to tell her how much I missed her. I hated what I had become but when the kids finally fall asleep I was stuck, stuck in a world of hate and anger.

"Mommy" looking at Derik my cold hard face broke into a smile

"Hey baby boy" I smiled kissing his cheek "Will be there soon won't be much longer" Derik said nothing just smiled up at me, his father smile. My hearts raised and fell at it.

Taking a deep breath I Press my heels into my horse and began moving faster. Call me impatient but I needed my sister. I rode hard and fast when I made it the gate was down the farmers weren't happy they looked sad; I had never seen Ironrath like this.

A bad feeling over came me, I suddenly felt ill with nerves, and my hand shook out of fear of what was to come. Taking a deep slow breath to silent my thoughts my horse moved going through the gates.

"Lillian something not right" Brent called from beside me.

"Agreed" I nodded jumping off my horse I handed the boys to Jaymie and Brent. Walking fast Jaymie and Brent beside me holding the kids. Grabbing a soldier I was shocked to say the least when I saw the banner "What you doing in Ironrath?" I stared at the Whitehill soldier.

"Lillian Fucking Falls" he smirked "Heard you have a nice bounty on you" he wiggled his eyebrows "Shame your under Ramsay Bolton protection could use the coin"

Ramsay protection? "Answer me" I stared "And that's lady Falls to you" I nodded

He rolled his eyes "Well lady Falls you're not going to like what I'm about to say" he smirked "Your sister is meeting death in due time" like a flash my eyes went wide, my blood boiled but it wasn't me who moved.

I watched as my little brother moved towards the Whitehill soldier, bending down I picked up Derik blocking his view from Brent actions. The soldier head bounced on the rock over and over again.

"Lillian" Jaymie whispered beside me "Please stop this" she muttered Ned cuddled into her chest

I snapped back into reality. Moving forward I placed my hand on Brent shoulder "his dead" I whispered, pushing him back.

"Where my sister?" Brent asked angrily

"I don't know but lets gets some answers" I whispered

It didn't take long until I saw what I saw my whole body shook with anger. I watch Rodrik place his father and his brother alight "Stop" Brent yelled moving forward.

They all stared at us in shock, bitting my lip I moved with Brent and stared at my little sister. My blonde haired, blue eyes beautiful little sister laid still, everything taken from her she was but a child.

Looking at Rodrik he looked broken and hurt, his face filled with scars "Rodrik" he nodded handing me the light, he knew what I was asking for "Brent you must do it" he stared at me tears falling like waterfalls.

Brent alight his sister "Tell us after" I nodded to Rodrik. I watched little Talia walk up turning her faces covered in tears. I listened to Talia sing a sad song for her brother and father.

When the song finished Talia stepped down falling into her eldest brother arms as he hugged her, I stared frozen as the gods had taken another name, another life I call blood and not just that family friends too.

Once the bodies were nothing but ash I turned to Rodrik "I understand your pain but it's time we talk"

Rodrik nodded and we headed into the great hall to speak, taking a seat I stared at everyone here surrounding us "Well what the FUCK HAPPENED" Brent hand slammed onto the table "WHY THE FUCK IS MY SISTER DEAD AND WHY IS ETHAN FUCKING DEAD" I've never seen Brent snap like that.

"She saved me!" Talia signed

"Saved you?" I questioned "and whom would you need saving from?"

"Ramsay Bolton"

"I'm sorry" I frowned

"Bolton bastard" Rodrik

"Ramsay Snow?" I questioned "Why? How?"

"He wanted me as a prize but Nadine stepped up grabbed me from his hold, so he grabbed her and that's when Ethan really lost it. Ethan got stabbed in the throat and than Nadine did too"

Sliding my chair back I passed Jaymie Derik and I began to pace the room "Why was he here?" Brent asked through gritted teeth.

"Because of the Whitehills"

"Because of the Whitehills?" I questioned still confused

"One of the soldiers were killed and another attacked so they came for the killer but he was sent to the wall" Talia signed "I'm so sorry its all my fault"

"No it's not" Brent nodded "it's not Talia do you hear me, its not" with that Brent got up sliding the chair and walking outside, cracking my neck I followed him out "Not safe anywhere we go"

"I've realised!" I signed, as I looked at my little brother I knew I couldn't sit in self pity Nadine was his twin sister, his baby sister they've been together there whole life and now, now she to sat on the other side.

"Are we going to help them?" he asked

"I'm going to kill Ramsay that's the only thing I know"

"We need to rally, we need an army, doesn't help that most of the North great fighters were killed at the red wedding"

I signed, "So what will we do?" I questioned

"We scout, we fight off the Whitehills, Asher returning with sell swords, so that gives us some numbers but we're going to need more than just numbers, we need brains, smarts"

I nodded "Fine we scout but with the Whitehills here not the safest places for the kids and ourselves to be" I signed

"So what we do?"

"We rebel, gather as much town folks as you can and train it won't be long until Whitehill soldiers arrive"

Brent signed, "It might not work"

"We won't know until we try, and we have to for our parents, for Grant, for Nadine, Ned and Catelyn, Robb and Talisa we have to try"

"Well fuck me" he signed rubbing his face "alright, first break in the morning I'll go"

"Train any women who wants to fight too"

"Will do" Brent nodded "I feel like a massive piece of my heart missing Lily"

"I know I feel it two" I whispered "But I'm going to kill Ramsay"

Brent turned to me "You better I know use were friends but Nadine blood"

"He'll pay in blood, I promise"

Brent nodded leaving me outside on my own, this place had turned to shit, and this world was being spun so fast that I was loosing my mind. Ramsay killed my little sister why? Didn't make sense.


	22. Chapter 22

**Lillian POV**

Sat staring at the fire as it danced, days go by and my anger burns harder and stronger than the flames in front of me. Gulping back the pain I stare at my little boy who was playing with Shadow, Ned sound asleep beside me.

Smiling I grabbed my little boy "Lets walk" I nodded "Come on" Standing up I held his hand, his little feet touched the ground, as I walked backwards he followed, his legs strong, yet wobbly at the same time.

Shadow walked beside him "That's cheating Shadow" I laughed, it felt good to smile and laugh and I guess it was Ned and Derik that helped me do it. Even when I was drained, tired and fed up it was these two boys that made me want to fight.

"I know his feeling" Turning my head it was Rodrik "Wobbly knees, weak legs"

"Rodrik" I signed, "You beating yourself up, and now is not the time"

"I know" he nodded "I have something to ask and I hope its not to forward"

"Me First" I signed, "My sister Direwolf Grace where is she?" I asked

"Ramsay stuck an arrow through it and took it" he gulped "I wasn't here and I know our family, my father swore nothing would ever happen while she was here, that we would protect her but I'm sorry we couldn't" Rodrik grabbed my hand "I am so sorry you trusted us to foster her until she was of age and we failed"

I held back everything I was feeling "You had a questioned…Ask away" I nodded ignoring his questions, the thought of my little sister brought pain that I have never felt, my blood my baby sister dead, gone.

"Your brother Grant is he alive?" he asked,

"I don't know" I shrugged "I have no idea"

"He went over the wall didn't he for that wilding" I stared at him "He was my best friend of course I knew, doesn't make it any easier" he shrugged "I reckon his still out there, the Great Grant Falls"

"I hope he comes I can use a little light in my life…someone to tell me everything going to be okay…someone to take the hits for once" I shrugged faking a smile

"You have light look at these boys" he smiled down at them "I can't wait to have children but to do so I need Elaena"

"Glenmore?" I questioned

"Yeah" he smirked "I need her, god I need her house so I can get the fucking Whitehills out of here"

"Rodrik I swear I will stand with you, you have me and Brent as allies we might be small in numbers but with our family name we can rally pretty well and rally we will" I assured him "The only Whitehill I won't touch is Gywn the others can fall"

"Agreed Asher would kill us all" Rodrik laughed "Lillian, Ned his not your child"

"I'm sorry" I frowned

"You secret safe with me I know its Robb's and Talisa child"

"How?"

"I was part of the North camp I was brought back apparently dead I rode Robb" he signed looking down "I survived"

I scoffed "You're too observant Rodrik"

"I'll protect them, I swear" Rodrik promised

The sound of banging hit my ears "What is that?" I questioned

"RODRICK" Talia ran into the room "It's the Whitehills they're assembling in the courtyard, they've woken the house we can't let this go on, they want us to see us cower in our own house"

"Take the boys Lillian its not safe if you go out with the boys I'll deal with it"

"Okay, Come Shadow" Bending down I collected the boys, Jaymie coming into the room and locking the door, looking out the window my hand went through Shadow fur as I heard them argue in the courtyard.

Gryff fucking Whitehill, this kid was Ludd fourth born he didn't care for him nor did I to be honest, it didn't take long before Gryff and his man walked into the great hall "Jaymie stay locked in here and do not open for no one do you understand?"

"I understand" she nodded

"Shadow stay" I pointed. Shadow took a seat his head lying near the boys. Shadow had learnt early that is he wasn't protecting me he had to protect the boys.

Walking out of the bedchambers I headed for the great hall. It didn't take long for me to find Gryff and his man "Well…well…well" I didn't remove my eyes nor did I drop my head "If this isn't a sight for sore eyes"

"Hello Gryff" I smiled

"Why haven't you grown nicely" he winked eyeing me up and down.

"Well I'd like to say the same but by the sounds of your temper I'm not to sure, Gryff I knew was quite" I shrugged "And enjoyed reading"

"Oh come give me a hug Lillian" Nodding I hugged him it was awkward and I hated it "So why are you here?"

"I'm actually stopping here on my way to speak to Ramsay" I nodded

"Oh yeah what about?" he asked his hand still over my shoulder

"Oh my little sister" I nodded

"Little sister?" Gryff asked confused

"Yeah the one he stabbed in the throat and killed" with that I pushed Gryff away from me "You stand with him why?" I questioned "I have known you for years, I was always kind to you and this, this is how you treat my family?"

"I-I didn't know Lillian I swear I didn't know"

I stared at him "Gywn was my brother best friend, I get you and the Forresters dislike each other use are rival houses. But you were there when Robb was attacked you fought against him"

"Lillian"

"No a time will come and the gods will decide your fate Gryff, I am not here to write it but I am here to speak to my best friend about his actions on my little sister and if you stand in my way I will write your fate"

"That's no way to speak to a Lord" a big man spat

"No way to speak to a lady" I said stepping up "We can sort it out if you want duel to the death but let me reassure you my anger will boil louder than your height and weight. You will stand no chance from the anger I have"

"Harys stand down" Gryff nodded "I will not stand in your way but I will not have you speak out of term like Rodrik"

"I am heading north I have no quarrel with you"

"As an old friend I give you that, I will speak nothing and let gods decide your fate but it will not be written at my hand" he nodded putting out his hand I nodded shaking it.

"Thank you"

"Your welcome" Nodding I turned on my heels heading out the door "Lillian you still look beautiful walking away" Gryff laughed

Rolling my eyes I didn't turn I continued to walk out of the great hall, Brent came around the corner his eyebrow raised in question, shaking my head we walked beside each other "Rodrik right Gryff an ass"

"And a pig" I nodded once Jaymie heard my voice she let us in.

"What was that about?" Brent asked "What you and Gryff talk about, I'm not being their allies Lillian they are the reason my sister is fucking dead"

"Brent we must play the game to survive but whilst the boys are here we must remain calm, Rodrik knows we are his allies he knows the only Whitehill I will not harm is Gywn"

"Can I kill him?"

"No" I shook my head "You are all I have to count on you must be smart, you must live"

"Fine" he huffed "Come here boy" Ice came up and Brent just pressed their heads together "I've scouted pretty well"

"Yeah" I nodded

"I caught up with Elaena Glenmore"

"Your first crush" I smirked

"Shut up anyways she's got a plan up her sleeve she said she'd meet us with her brother"

"If we can get the Glenmore's to rally with us we could get some numbers how did small Folk training go?" I questioned

"Not too bad" Brent shrugged "twin boys massive almost the size of Hodor"

"We can use some Hodor sized man" I smirked "Brent I'm going"

"I'm sorry" he frowned confused standing up looking me in the eyes his blue eyes like ice glaring at me.

"I'm going to the wall!" I whispered

"Lillian no…you can't he cant leave with you-"

"I have too" I signed, "I have to see him, I have to Lay Nadine to rest at her home"

"I'll come, will come"

"No" I shook my head "You must stay, we must play the game Brent. Train these people because war will come"

"Lillian your all I got" he signed "Please don't walk away from me"

"I heard you two I'm breaking and his the only thing to fix it, I just need to hug him, feel him, talk to him Brent and than I will return and will rebel"

"And if god forgive you don't return"

"If I fall you take the boys and escape this wars, no hope but I won't fall I have meaning in my life and your part of it" I signed cupping his face"

"Swear you fall I'll bring you back myself to slap you silly" he glared at me

I chuckled "Sounds fair and don't fuck with Gryff he'll get his own at the Forresters hands not ours but if any of them touch my sons cut them where they hang and let them cherish the breath in their lungs before I come and take it from them"

"When do you leave?"

"First morning light I'll be back within the few days. Wet nurse coming to take care of the boys" I stated

"Fine get some rest, you need your beauty sleep Jon awaits"

"Shut up" I pushed him

Five humans and two Dire wolves slept in one bedchamber. Brent sat on a chair with bow and Arrows at the ready. Jaymie next to the fire on some furs right near Brent. It didn't go unnoticed how much they liked each other.

Ned and Derik were snuggled up to each other with Shadow and myself on the outside of them. The door was not just locked it was barricaded. Word is wind and Gryff wasn't the person he once was.

I fell asleep to Brent soft humming it was a song my mother sang a long time ago, I use to sing it to them but I don't sing anymore they're older they didn't need to be soothed to sleep no more.


	23. Chapter 23

_Lillian was in the stables brushing her father horse, he was getting older by the years but he was still beautiful, still kind and still had some kick in his step. Lillian hummed a tune her mother once sang_.

 _"Why don't you sing Lillian" Looking up Nadine had a massive smile upon her rosy cheeks "Sing please" Nadine pleaded._

 _"There will be no sun, when all the wars are done" Lillian sang aloud "There will be no place to run. Only in my day, will life be in your face, the children will not sing anymore…the songs of your war"_

"Mum use to sing that didn't she" Nadine asked

 _"Yeah to bother Father when he went on some conquest of war or family argument" Lillian smiled "You look like her you know that"_

 _"I do?"_

 _"Yeah yellow hair. Bright, bright blue eyes. You have her smile it's contagious" Lillian smiled at that comment because she too had her mother smile_

 _Nadine hand began patting waters "Lillian can you take me to see mother and Father" Lillian stared at her little sister in shock. It has been years since Nadine had asked to visit them. Why now? "Please"_

 _"Um sure everything okay?" Lillian asked_

 _"Yeah I just want to say hello" Nadine shrugged_

 _"Okay well saddle your horse" Lillian smirked_

 _Nadine and Lillian went out of the stables, they rode talking about all types of things like when they were going to see the Forresters again, if Ethan can come over it wasn't hard to tell that Nadine had a crush on young Ethan Forrester_.

 _It wasn't long until they had arrived, Lillian watched her sister look at her once castle, her hands touching every stone "Can we rebuild?" Nadine asked,_

 _"Take a lot of work Nadine" Lillian signed, "Cost money we don't have"_

 _Nadine head dropped "Just, Just a shame is all"_

 _"Yeah you would have loved here" Nadine smiled "Come I want to show you something amazing" Lillian grabbed Nadine hand running through the field until she saw the waterfall_

 _"Its hot" Nadine asked in shock_

 _"It never freezes" Lillian smiled "Father said even in the coldest winter this waterfall was hot like a bath" Lillian laughed_

 _"Can we" Nadine questioned_

 _"Go in?" Lillian asked_

 _"Yeah?" Nadine smirked_

 _"Okay" Lillian smiled "Let's do this"_

 _Nadine and Lillian began removing articles of clothing, jumping into the warm hot lake with nothing but they're undercoats on. They both swum and laughed bathing in the hot water._

 _"I love it here" Nadine smiled "Wish I remembered what it looked like" she signed_

 _Lillian looked at her sister "One day will return here and live forever"_

 **Lillian POV**

I couldn't help but remember that day, I didn't want to believe it to be so true, I didn't want to think that this was it, that my baby sister days was over but here she was lying in my hands in ashes.

It wasn't how the Falls were laid to rest but it was how the Forresters were, a big part of her was lying in Ethan Tomb something Rodrik and I agreed they would have wanted it and a part of Ethan Ashes lay with Nadine in this Urne.

This is what my little sister was concealed to an Urne. I wanted to scream in anger she had a future to look forward too, a husband to wed, children to have and many, many wrinkles that should have occurred.

But the gods had written her fate and how wrong it was, I understood once but now I wonder how many harsh lashes I could take from them, how many more kicks to the back of the leg I could take.

The gods were playing harsh cards towards me, like they were accepting me to end it all. But it was that, that made me want to push harder. I wanted revenge, I wanted those who have wronged me to have their heads on a spike, I wanted everyone to know those who have wronged me had fallen.

Nothing felt better than riding the northern land, the air was so pure, so fresh but with every gallop of the horse it was becoming real, I was riding to bury my younger sister it shouldn't be it, should have been me who died next and if I could I would defiantly switch the roles for her to live happily.

Why would Ramsay do this to me of all people? He was my fucking best friend, we grew up together I seen him before I left, he hugged me and now, now my sister dead.

Riding hard up the mountain I could see the ruin of Icefalls. It was hard to leave the boys; it took literally everything within me to leave. I didn't get to leave without fair warning from Brent and a firm word.

It didn't take long until the sun had rose and I had arrived home, holding the Urne of Ashes I jumped off the horse and roped him to a pole that still stood. An old shiver went through me one of remembrance.

Smiling sadly I walked towards the crypts. Walking along my ancestors tombs It didn't take long to start a fire and light the torches I stood in front of my parents, my grandparents, Aunt and Uncles.

Taking a shaky breath I placed Nadine and Ethan Ashes in between my parents "Hello Mother, Father, Ancestor's" I signed "I-I-I'm returning Nadine to you all, but she's not alone…In her Urne lays the boy she loved, the boy she was going to Wed and live out her year with"

Wiping my eyes harshly with the back of my hand I took a deep breath "She has died and you have bared witness to the harsh reality of a so called friend. I have not spoken to him but I refuse to let his choices go unpunished"

"Nadine I want you to know I am sorry, I'm sorry I wasn't there, that I couldn't protect you like I had always sworn I would" I had finally snapped tears were controlling me, my loss bearing on my shoulders bringing me to my knees.

"I want you to know that I loved you with all my heart, to me you weren't just my sister, you were innocent, you were pure, you were everything I wished I could have been growing up, I wish I was happy like you"

"Mother, Father Take her, collect her, protect her and let her knows I'm sorry," I signed "Don't let her fear death, don't let her walk alone. Gather Ethan and let them remain still together'" Taking a steady step back I grabbed the club and took out the torches one by one as I walked out.

When I resurfaced I looked out at the wall that held my love, my child father and my brother. I wondered if they were okay, if Grant was alive, what his children were like. I had questions on questions but for now I lay them to them to rest.

Walking over to the horse I jumped upon his back "Ya" I yelled hitting his belly with my foot. I wasn't holding anything back he began to gallop through the snow to castle black.

Riding up to the guarded gate "What purpose do you have?" the young boy yielding a sword questioned from behind the gate.

"My name is Lillian Falls and I'm here to speak to Jon Snow"

"Jon Snow?" he questioned

"Yes Jon Snow" he nodded and the gate began to open

"Commander will want to know why you're here" he nodded as I jumped off my horse his hand grabbing the lead "You can wait in the courtyard" I saw a bunch of eyes on me but my eyes was trained on one figure.

"Hi I'm Sam"

 **Jon POV**

Standing in the courtyard, readying my horse "You all ready?" I asked staring at the man coming with me to Craster's Keep. I let my mind think of the letter from Robb a part of me couldn't believe Lily my lily dead, things didn't add up.

"Jon you okay?" Grenn asked staring at me

"Yeah I'm fine" I wasn't fine the love of my life is dead, taking a deep breath I jumped upon my horse "Lets go" kicking the horse we began to move towards the back gate.

I don't know why but something within me made me turn on my saddle. But it was a joke standing the courtyard with Lillian. My Lillian brown wavy hair, blue bright eyes and that smile. The old gods were playing a tormenting game with my heart.

Shaking my head I turned around angry at the strings to my heart the olds gods plucked at. She was dead. Robb wrote so him self, kicking my horse we entered north of the wall.

"JON" even her voice was real holding back tears we moved towards Craster's Keep.


	24. Chapter 24

_Lillian was in the stables brushing her father horse, he was getting older by the years but he was still beautiful, still kind and still had some kick in his step. Lillian hummed a tune her mother once sang_.

 _"Why don't you sing Lillian" Looking up Nadine had a massive smile upon her rosy cheeks "Sing please" Nadine pleaded._

 _"There will be no sun, when all the wars are done" Lillian sang aloud "There will be no place to run. Only in my day, will life be in your face, the children will not sing anymore…the songs of your war"_

"Mum use to sing that didn't she" Nadine asked

 _"Yeah to bother Father when he went on some conquest of war or family argument" Lillian smiled "You look like her you know that"_

 _"I do?"_

 _"Yeah yellow hair. Bright, bright blue eyes. You have her smile it's contagious" Lillian smiled at that comment because she too had her mother smile_

 _Nadine hand began patting waters "Lillian can you take me to see mother and Father" Lillian stared at her little sister in shock. It has been years since Nadine had asked to visit them. Why now? "Please"_

 _"Um sure everything okay?" Lillian asked_

 _"Yeah I just want to say hello" Nadine shrugged_

 _"Okay well saddle your horse" Lillian smirked_

 _Nadine and Lillian went out of the stables, they rode talking about all types of things like when they were going to see the Forresters again, if Ethan can come over it wasn't hard to tell that Nadine had a crush on young Ethan Forrester_.

 _It wasn't long until they had arrived, Lillian watched her sister look at her once castle, her hands touching every stone "Can we rebuild?" Nadine asked,_

 _"Take a lot of work Nadine" Lillian signed, "Cost money we don't have"_

 _Nadine head dropped "Just, Just a shame is all"_

 _"Yeah you would have loved here" Nadine smiled "Come I want to show you something amazing" Lillian grabbed Nadine hand running through the field until she saw the waterfall_

 _"Its hot" Nadine asked in shock_

 _"It never freezes" Lillian smiled "Father said even in the coldest winter this waterfall was hot like a bath" Lillian laughed_

 _"Can we" Nadine questioned_

 _"Go in?" Lillian asked_

 _"Yeah?" Nadine smirked_

 _"Okay" Lillian smiled "Let's do this"_

 _Nadine and Lillian began removing articles of clothing, jumping into the warm hot lake with nothing but they're undercoats on. They both swum and laughed bathing in the hot water._

 _"I love it here" Nadine smiled "Wish I remembered what it looked like" she signed_

 _Lillian looked at her sister "One day will return here and live forever"_

 **Lillian POV**

I couldn't help but remember that day, I didn't want to believe it to be so true, I didn't want to think that this was it, that my baby sister days was over but here she was lying in my hands in ashes.

It wasn't how the Falls were laid to rest but it was how the Forresters were, a big part of her was lying in Ethan Tomb something Rodrik and I agreed they would have wanted it and a part of Ethan Ashes lay with Nadine in this Urne.

This is what my little sister was concealed to an Urne. I wanted to scream in anger she had a future to look forward too, a husband to wed, children to have and many, many wrinkles that should have occurred.

But the gods had written her fate and how wrong it was, I understood once but now I wonder how many harsh lashes I could take from them, how many more kicks to the back of the leg I could take.

The gods were playing harsh cards towards me, like they were accepting me to end it all. But it was that, that made me want to push harder. I wanted revenge, I wanted those who have wronged me to have their heads on a spike, I wanted everyone to know those who have wronged me had fallen.

Nothing felt better than riding the northern land, the air was so pure, so fresh but with every gallop of the horse it was becoming real, I was riding to bury my younger sister it shouldn't be it, should have been me who died next and if I could I would defiantly switch the roles for her to live happily.

Why would Ramsay do this to me of all people? He was my fucking best friend, we grew up together I seen him before I left, he hugged me and now, now my sister dead.

Riding hard up the mountain I could see the ruin of Icefalls. It was hard to leave the boys; it took literally everything within me to leave. I didn't get to leave without fair warning from Brent and a firm word.

It didn't take long until the sun had rose and I had arrived home, holding the Urne of Ashes I jumped off the horse and roped him to a pole that still stood. An old shiver went through me one of remembrance.

Smiling sadly I walked towards the crypts. Walking along my ancestors tombs It didn't take long to start a fire and light the torches I stood in front of my parents, my grandparents, Aunt and Uncles.

Taking a shaky breath I placed Nadine and Ethan Ashes in between my parents "Hello Mother, Father, Ancestor's" I signed "I-I-I'm returning Nadine to you all, but she's not alone…In her Urne lays the boy she loved, the boy she was going to Wed and live out her year with"

Wiping my eyes harshly with the back of my hand I took a deep breath "She has died and you have bared witness to the harsh reality of a so called friend. I have not spoken to him but I refuse to let his choices go unpunished"

"Nadine I want you to know I am sorry, I'm sorry I wasn't there, that I couldn't protect you like I had always sworn I would" I had finally snapped tears were controlling me, my loss bearing on my shoulders bringing me to my knees.

"I want you to know that I loved you with all my heart, to me you weren't just my sister, you were innocent, you were pure, you were everything I wished I could have been growing up, I wish I was happy like you"

"Mother, Father Take her, collect her, protect her and let her knows I'm sorry," I signed "Don't let her fear death, don't let her walk alone. Gather Ethan and let them remain still together'" Taking a steady step back I grabbed the club and took out the torches one by one as I walked out.

When I resurfaced I looked out at the wall that held my love, my child father and my brother. I wondered if they were okay, if Grant was alive, what his children were like. I had questions on questions but for now I lay them to them to rest.

Walking over to the horse I jumped upon his back "Ya" I yelled hitting his belly with my foot. I wasn't holding anything back he began to gallop through the snow to castle black.

Riding up to the guarded gate "What purpose do you have?" the young boy yielding a sword questioned from behind the gate.

"My name is Lillian Falls and I'm here to speak to Jon Snow"

"Jon Snow?" he questioned

"Yes Jon Snow" he nodded and the gate began to open

"Commander will want to know why you're here" he nodded as I jumped off my horse his hand grabbing the lead "You can wait in the courtyard" I saw a bunch of eyes on me but my eyes was trained on one figure.

"Hi I'm Sam"

 **Jon POV**

Standing in the courtyard, readying my horse "You all ready?" I asked staring at the man coming with me to Craster's Keep. I let my mind think of the letter from Robb a part of me couldn't believe Lily my lily dead, things didn't add up.

"Jon you okay?" Grenn asked staring at me

"Yeah I'm fine" I wasn't fine the love of my life is dead, taking a deep breath I jumped upon my horse "Lets go" kicking the horse we began to move towards the back gate.

I don't know why but something within me made me turn on my saddle. But it was a joke standing the courtyard with Lillian. My Lillian brown wavy hair, blue bright eyes and that smile. The old gods were playing a tormenting game with my heart.

Shaking my head I turned around angry at the strings to my heart the olds gods plucked at. She was dead. Robb wrote so him self, kicking my horse we entered north of the wall.

"JON" even her voice was real holding back tears we moved towards Craster's Keep.


	25. Chapter 25

**Jon POV  
**  
I had just fought of so called brothers of the night watch. My mind was racing and the thought of Lillian played out in me. Removing my sword from a man "Jon" Looking up to Grenn voice I saw Ghost.

A smile appeared on my face "Where in seven hells, come here" I laughed kneeling down "I missed you boy" I whispered patting his head

"What should we do with this lot?" Ed asked nodding towards Craster's wives/daughters.

Standing "Its not safe for you on your own, Mance Ryder has an army heading this way and there is worse out there than Mance…. Come with us to castle black we can find you work keep you safe"

"Meaning all respect crow. Craster beats us and worse…your brother crows beat us and worse. Will find our own" Craster's first wife nodded

"You want to stay here in Craster's keep?" I asked confused at why you would want to stay somewhere you were hurt in.

She spat on the ground "Burn it to the ground and all the dead with it"

We gathered the bodies and burnt the keep to the ground as she wished. We all stared as the flames brightening the night "Jon back at castle black who was the girl?" Ed asked

"Sorry?" I frowned staring Ed dead in the eyes now.

"The girl she had arrived called your name and everything" Ed frowned at me confused.

"Wait you could see her" I asked frowning "She wasn't there, I swear it"

"Seven hells Jon I seen her blue eye, brown wavy hair, beautiful figure and a bright smile yes I seen the beauty" Frowning at Ed words I jumped upon my horse "Jon?"

"We got to move"

"Jon it's going to take a week to return and it's dark," Ed signed, "Who is she?"

Looking up at the moon "I thought she was dead but if you seen her than she's very much alive"

"Who is she Jon" Ed asked

"It's Lillian"

"Lillian, your Lillian?" Ed questioned

"Yes" I signed running a hand through my hair "I have to ride to her"

"Jon she'll probably be gone by the time you return and Alliser would hang you if you leave your brothers" Ed signed. He was dead right. Taking a deep breath I swung my foot off jumping down.

"Fine set up camp first light we pack up and get a move on"

 **Lillian POV**

I was almost back at Ironrath, my heart heavy and sad from not really getting the chance to hold Jon, to talk to him. Returning to Ironrath the gates were opened and unarmed, riding in a cold shiver went through me all the hairs on my arms stood up.

What the fuck was going on? I really wasn't in the mood to deal with this shit. Jumping off my horse I patted his neck as I tied him to a post. Walking past the people, I was shocked to see them, they looked hungry. Looking down at my riding purse I smiled pulling out some food Sam packed me. Handing it to a little girl, she thanked me sitting down with her mother. What had the Whitehills done?

The sound of voices echoing through the hallways hit my ears like a loud bell. My feet began moving faster towards the screaming and yelling. Pushing open the large wooden door it slammed against the wall.

I felt all eyes on me but my eyes were captured on one person and one only, I could see the Maester on the floor coughing from pain but it wasn't what I was staring at.

"Lillian you've-"

I said nothing as I walked, my feet making a sound as I did, I felt people move closer ready for an outcome, reaching out I grabbed baby Ned from Gryff arms, handing Ned over the room was silent as I walked up to the other Whitehill guard holding my child, my Derik.

I never felt my blood burn so hot I was shaking with anger "Fuck off you-" my fist stung as I connected with his face, grabbing Derik from his arm I held him on my hip.

"Lillian" Brent voice hit my ear with caution but I didn't care.

I turned myself to Gryff my eyes deadly "Trust me when I say this Gryff Whitehill if you ever touch my children again see that pretty little fucking gate outside, that's where you fucking head will sit If you ever, ever touch my boys again" I spat angrily.

"Lillian" Gryff tone was surprised

"These aren't yours" Gryff Guard that had Derik spat, picking himself up from the ground.

"Yes they fucking are" Walking towards Jaymie I handed her Derik "Who the fuck do you think you are?" I questioned

"I'm a-" Before he could say another word he fell to his knees, blood splattering from his mouth, an arrow in his neck. The room got more and more tense. I felt every eye on me.

"Let that be your fucking warning" I stared at Gryff

"Lillian" the sound of man marching hit my ears "What the-" flinging my bow around my chest I turned on my heels grabbing my boys from Brent and Jaymie I left them to what would be.

I never felt more anger than I felt now, I never felt more scared than I did. These two are mine regardless of Ned not being mine he was mine, I had raised him , I had nursed him, I had done so much and I did it for him.

It was like looking at Derik he was his father and looking at Ned he was his father "Shh boys momma got you now, no one will ever touch you again" I whispered as I fell onto the bed in my bedchamber.

Whistling Shadow and Ice jumped up on the bed as the boys cuddled into my side, my anger burning down, my annoyance, my hurt everything begin to mellow as they held on to me.

 **Brent POV**

I have seen my sister as fierce as a cold winter, harsh like a long storm but I have never seen her like I just did. I didn't care for Rodrik hitting Gryff I didn't care that we had a small win. I just stared at the man lying on the ground with an arrow in his neck.

My thought went crazy what happened with Jon? Is he okay? I have seen Lillian angry, I've seen her hurt and I've seen her kill but none with such little effort as just then.

Rubbing my face I nodded to the guys, gripping Jaymie hand "She's loosing it Brent"

"Do well to keep that to yourself" I nodded guiding her out of the room and towards the bedchambers. As I walked in Lillian was hugging the boys, the wolves lying on the end of the bed "Did you see him?"

"For a second, he was leaving as I came" She whispered, "I don't think he really saw it was me" her voice was filled with pain

She needed him, I was unsure of her leaving but she needed him, I hated the gods for playing such a trick, such a stupid cruel trick. Will my sister be like this forever? Will she be cold?

"I'm sorry," I whispered

* * *

 **Hi guys**

 **sorry it took so long to update but I hope you enjoyed the chapters and story so far. Let me know what you all think and as per usual 10reviews and I'll update. Thank you for those who read every time i update and review very much appreciated :)**

 **also were you upset Jon and Lillian didn't see each other ? Well if you were don't worry I have a great chapter for when they unite ;)**

 **Jeanette**


	26. Chapter 26

Brent POV

I missed my sister I missed her so much I felt as if a part of me was torn away my other half gone. I had pain but I buried I buried it so deep because of Lillian.

She may be older, she may be in charge but her heart was breaking every second it was like watching someone try to breath when they're drowning.

Walking down the hallways I heard laughter and my heart jumped at that sound, turning the corner I followed the laugh. Pushing the door open my blue eyes landed on Lillian.

She was bathing the boy a giant smile on her face. This is how it should be this is the Lillian I should see everyday.

I shouldn't have to see her in pain. I blamed Jon for a lot of it I was mad at him but I wasn't mad at him because I understood why he left. Just wish they told each other beforehand.

"Mommy smile" Derik voice echoed with happiness

"Yeah mommy smile little man" she spoke back her voice like a child's.

"Mommy Ned" Derik pointed to little Ned who sat up with Lillian hand behind his back as Derik stood.

"Yeah you love your brother," she asked

I couldn't describe how proud I was about her taking Robb kid as her own but they were the best of friends so I'd see Ned going to no other than her. Just kind of wished Robb listened to Lillian and myself about Walter fray he shouted traitor.

"Uncle Brent" Derik childish voice hit my ear breaking me from my thoughts smiling I pressed off the doorframe coming into the room.

Lillian smiled at me as I kneeled besides her hitting her with my shoulder I helped bath little Ned and Derik. It was good for this split moment nothing hurt, I was okay, Lillian was smiling something I hadn't seen since Winterfell.

"Thanks" Lillian mumbled under her breath

Raising an eyebrow at her "What for?" I asked wrapping Little Ned up

"You know what for" She smirked bumping me with her hip "You've been my rock for so long and you're the best"

"Hey were family what we're suppose to do"

"Talking about family" she nodded dressing the boys "Jaymie"

"What about her" I frowned confused

"Brent Falls you know what I'm talking about" She pointed out

"What's that boys you want to go play okay" I laughed picking them both up in my arms "Say bye Mommy"

"Brent"

"BYE MOMMY" Derik yelled as we walked quickly away.

 **Jon POV  
**

It didn't take long until we arrived the sound of cheers and the horn of rangers returning hit my ears. Smiling I looked at Sam "Jon" he smiled wrapping me in his arms.

"Lord Snow…. this is no place for wild beast lock him away or I'll let hum throw him in tonight stew" Alliser called. Taking a deep breath I walked away.

"Come on Ghost" I nodded ghost followed me.

"Jon…Jon" Turning my head Sam was beside me "This is for you Jon"

I stared at the parchment, it didn't go unrecognised that she wasn't here I knew she wouldn't stay here not for a week. Gripping the parchment "How is she?" I asked staring into Sam eyes "Does she look okay"

Sam signed, "I didn't really know what she looked like before but from what you told me she doesn't look okay, she's broken and hurt…She fierce though almost broke a recruits arm"

"Why?" I frowned

"He touched her ass" Sam smirked

I couldn't help but chuckle "Yeah that's my Lillian"

"Read it I'll come get you when the meeting starts" Nodding I locked Ghost up before heading to my bedchambers. I could tell it was different that someone had been in here. Walking towards the bed I took a seat.

 _My Dearest Jon._

 _I don't know if you're mad at me or if you hate me I guess I couldn't blame you if you were or did. I tried calling your name but you rode on, beyond the wall. I rode for many months to see you and I hope you get to read this that you return safe, because your safety is all I ever ask._

 _I asked Robb to tell you I had died, I asked so I could travel safely. That people would stop searching for Lillian Falls with the bounty on her head. I don't travel alone Brent saved me but we couldn't save Sansa._

 _I heard you meet Grant, it bring me joy to hear he is alive but it hurts at the same time. I lied to you because Grant means the world to me and I didn't want him to be punished for falling in love with a Wildling._

 _I know you probably have mixed feelings running through you, but I'm sorry. I'm sorry I'm the girl you fell in love with and the girl who breaks your heart. I write you to tell you to forget about me._

 _I am broken, I am hurt and I am beyond fixable but you, you're not to blame because without you I would of died along time ago. You're my everything and because of that when I fall I fall a proud, Happy lady._

 _I wish to not burden you no more. But know that you are my everything and I will cherish every moment I've had with you and thank you for what you gave me._

 _Sincerely Lillian_

I stared at the handwriting it wasn't steady anymore, the writing was rushed and the parchment was wet. She cried as she wrote this, taking a deep breath I knew she needed me I knew I had to say something to tell her she wasn't a burden but, but maybe this is for the good.

But I don't want her to die alone without anyone, I wish for her to have children I know Lillian and I know she would stay true to her word that she'd marry no one, bear no child to a man other than me.

Lillian my love I was happy to hear she was alive but the ache within still stayed; it still rang loud in my ears and painful within my heart. God if only I believed it was her.

 **Lillian POV**

I rolled my eyes at Brent he had a habit of running away from his feelings "Lillian" lifting my head to Rodrik voice "I have an invitation to go to high point for a meeting"

"Are you going?" I questioned taking a seat at the table

"What you think?"

"If it was me and they had Brent I'd go but its up to you all of it Rodrik, you need to make a decision"

Rodrik nodded pressing his lip together "For Ryon I'm going"

"Rodrik what is it you truly want?" I signed, "Lets not beat around the bush just tell me"

"I was wondering if you'd come"

"Are you taking the Glenmore soldiers?" I asked

"No they'll stay at Ironrath"

"And you don't think maybe this is some trick?" I questioned, "That maybe Ramsay is involved in this?"

"No he wants something I can tell"

"Fine when do we leave?" I wondered

"First morning light and thank you Lillian"

"For Ryon" I nodded standing up I slide the chair back leaving Rodrik in his own thoughts.

 **Hey guys I couldn't help but break my rules I really wanted you to hear my next chapter. Hope you enjoyed this chapter I felt like it was a little boring but trust me great things are going to start happening soon. Let me know your thoughts and sorry if any spelling mistakes I did this at work on my phone. Anyways let me know what you think.**

 **Jeanette x**


	27. Chapter 27

**Lillian POV**

I leant against the doorframe "You aren't fucking going!" I stared at Brent as he hissed and spat at me "What if this is some fucking trick Lillian, your going into his castle be fucking Robb all over again" he huffed throwing his hands in the air.

"It won't be" I whispered

"Lillian are you fucking stupid?" he asked staring at me his anger on full display "You're all I have for fuck sakes"

"He wants to discuss a truce and Rodrik asking me to come"

"Sorry he doesn't need us, this isn't our war" Brent spat

"Yes it is" I hissed my anger finally reached a peak "Nadine died for the man she loved her betrothed, the Forresters are family and we protect family Brent…. I'm older than you, stay here train the town folk"

"Fine" he spat bumping my shoulder as he left the room. Jaymie stared at me "Come on boys mommy got to go" she smiled softly at me.

"Love you boys" I smiled kissing their cheeks

"Love you mommy" Derik yelled

"Be Safe"

"Tell Brent I love him" I nodded

"No need" Brent huffed kissing my cheek "I love you, I'm sorry just be fucking safe" he signed

"I promise"

"Okay come on Derik, Ned sleepy" Brent grabbed Derik from Jaymie and walked out.

…

I rode beside Rodrik in silence, no word being muttered, my mind was racing, I was thinking strategically about what to do, about the outcome and what would happen.

When we arrived I spotted Gwyn straight away but I pressed my lips together ignoring her as I looked around the castle. It's weird to think these two houses use to be united.

"Lillian" lifting my head "Great hall" nodding at Rodrik I followed behind him, my hand placed on my sword as I went passed soldiers.

"Milady"

"Give us a moment" Gwyn muttered going over to the tapestry, I heard the story of her family but I already knew it "Come on we mustn't keep my father waiting"

Following behind her I felt instantly like this was a set up, like I was about to be the next red wedding. I counted the soldiers that stood above me "I don't trust this" I muttered to Malcolm.

"Neither do I" he signed looking up at the soldiers

"Why all this if they mean to betray us" Rodrik Asked

"Bread and salt would mean we are protected by guest right"

"Yeah still not letting my guard down" I muttered

The sound of the door creaked open "RODRIK" Lord Ludd yelled "Welcome to high point"

"Lord" Rodrik nodded

"Not nervous are you?" Ludd asked

"Ask you the same thing these soldiers"

"Sounds like your feeling outnumbered…well?" he questioned sitting down; I signed taking a seat next to Rodrik.

I sat glaring at Ludd "WINE…You know your father once called high point a keep for the god, what store work, what craft man ship he wouldn't stop talking about it if you asked me he was envious "

"High point is very impressive" Rodrik nodded

"It is compared to your pile of timber"

"Ludd where Ryon" Lady Forrester hissed, a mother after my own heart.

"Always worried about your own family aren't you, lets toast shall we. Won't you toast with me Rodrik as a symbol of our good will? TO FAMILY"

"TO FAMILY" Rodrik toasted I stared at the wine taking it.

"Now tell us why we're here?" Rodrik asked

"The ironwood business is thriving in fact the Bolton's want weapons faster than we can make them" Ludd admitted "And when Bruce Bolton wants something I like to give it to him"

"So in other words you need our help" Rodrik smirked humour in his voice

"Ha don't be so dam full of yourself…You Forresters are heading for destruction yet you know more about ironwood than any house in the realm, would be a shame for all that knowledge to be lost…Help me craft ironwood for the Bolton's and I'll make sure you Forresters survive" he nodded

"That's absurd" Malcolm hissed beside me

"Do you think you can threaten us?" Lady Forrester asked

"I'm not threatening I'm offering"

"So you proposing an offer of alliance?"

"A alliance" Ludd laughed, "I said nothing of the sort"

I stared at Ludd he was a snake and snakes can't be trusted no matter what

"You'd make them your slave," I questioned voicing my opinion

"Rodrik this could save your house" Gywn signed

"I'd consider an alliance" Rodrik nodded

"See what I have to put up with?" Ludd asked his daughter

"Just give him time" she spat back "I told you-"

"I OFFER YOU PEACE and you spit at it?" he asked his tone changing "I offer opportunity and you demand more, I've seen this coming since you refused to kiss my ring…here how its going to go Rodrik either you agree to my terms or I'll have Gryff turn Ironrath to the ground…you'll put it to the gods"

"This isn't the way" Gywn spoke

""Slaughtering your small folk maybe even make you watch" Gryff was full blown his hand on the table veins popping out of his neck as water spat as he spoke.

I stared up looking around they were armed and ready, I didn't like this one bit one false word and it's the red wedding the last thing I need.

"Gryff no longer in charge of Ironrath" Rodrik nodded sitting back in his seat

"What you talking about?" Ludd asked

"His locked in our darkest cellar a long with your entire fucking garrison" Rodrik Spat

"You didn't" Gywn hissed

"You've imprisoned my son" Ludd asked standing to his full height, his belly bouncing as he did "He was there by order of the warden of the north"

"Only one true warden and you betrayed him," I hissed,

"Lillian you are protected but-"

"But tell Bolton go fuck themselves" I spat angrily matching his frown

"How could you Rodrik?" Gywn sign sadness in her tone, I understood it was her brother I'd stand with mine even if they made stupid choice blood is thicker.

"Now its my turn to propose a deal" Rodrik nodded "Your son Gryff for my brother Ryon" Rodrik ordered standing to his full height.

"We want Ryon back and we want him today" Lady Forrester barked

Ludd huffed falling into his seat, his eyes went from mine to Rodrik, to his daughter "Bring the boy" he yelled his head lowered deep in thought.

We all stood looking at the guard who held Ryon shoulder a little aggressively for my likings "Ryon" Lady Forrester yelled out. 

"Mother, Rodrik" he smiled with hope in his eyes "I-I thought you'd forgotten about me" he stuttered hurt in his tone.

Ludd stood up "NO" I yelled as I watched a knife get placed to Ryon cheek

"What are you doing?" Rodrik yelled angrily

"You've imprisoned my flesh and blood? Mine?" his anger busted, his guard gripping at their weapons waiting for the call to be made, I swallowed the dry lump in my throat. My hand on the handle of my sword, waiting calculating moves.

"Let him GO" Lady Forrester Pleaded

"He's not going anywhere" Ludd spat venom in his voice

"Listen to her, don't do this!" Gywn yelled looking at her father with desperate eyes.

"I swear by the gods, if you hurt him" Lady Forrester yelled as any mother would.

"My Lady Get Down" Malcolm yelled worried for her.

"You're a fucking Animal," I hissed angrily as I stared at Ludd.

"And your in my Den" Ludd hissed his eyes turning to me

"This is not what we agreed," Gwyn gasped her hands up in surrender.

"Blame him, Not ME!" Ludd hissed,

"If you want to see Gryff alive again-"

"You think I give two shits about Gryff?" Ludd asked "About my fucking fourth born"

I watched Ryon eyes flicker and before I knew Ludd screamed in pain as Ryon dug his teeth into him, stepping forward it was short lived as he was pulled back by his forehead "I ought to kill you right now" Ludd hissed in Ryon ear loudly and angrily "Because you Forresters never learn"

"I'm not afraid of you" Ryon yelled mustering up any courage he could.

"Say the word, My Lord" Malcolm nodded

"Kiss me and we all die" Ludd hissed

"Ryon" Lady Forrester muttered,

"Let him go"

"Please father stop"

"Rodrik help him"

Everyone yelled at once but I couldn't bring myself to speak out of term as I analysed the situation "Fine I'll take your ironwood deal…. If you make the trade" Rodrik signed feeling a little beaten I know he want Gryff in the ground.

I signed raising my hand in surrender "Come on Ludd things don't have to end this way"

"You're lucky I know mercy" Ludd signed throwing Ryon to his feet

"Ryon come here" I whispered kneeling

"NO we'll make the sound on Neutral soil Gryff for Ryon a son for a son" I stood up as a soldier pulled Ryon to his feet, placing a stern grip back on his shoulder.

"Fine" Rodrik muttered

"NOW GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HOME and may the gods have mercy on us both when the Bolton come for their ironwood" Ludd hissed "Now go" he signed a little defeated

"Wont be long and when they come I hope that bastard flays you alive" I spat angrily

Ludd nodded Ryon going back behind the cellar "Iron from ICE" he yelled strongly.

Taking a deep breath I waited until Rodrik had left the Den after his mother so I could have his back. I didn't feel safe here my hairs were still up and the tension in the air was thick as black smoke.

 **Hi Guys,**

 **I've missed you. Sorry it took so long to update been a tad busy but I hope you liked it, leave me a review please tell me your thoughts. Positive or Negative please drop a review. Also if I get 5 reviews I will happily update the next chapter tonight.**

 **Jeanette x.**


	28. Chapter 28

_**Sorry for the shitty, shitty chapter before hand. It had so many spelling mistakes and grammar issues. Also sorry for the late updating this chapter was a bit hard. But I hope you enjoy thank you for all the reviews, follows and favourites…Anyways onwards with the story.**_

* * *

I Rode in silence, my thoughts escaping to the last moment Jon and I shared. I don't know why but the silence filled me with memories I had buried so deep. I had told myself I wouldn't think him, that he wasn't leaving the wall ever that I had to close my heart but it was gut wrenching.

I thought back to when we were young running around driving Lord Stark and Lady Stark insane. We were innocent; we didn't know what fear or the danger of the cruel iron hand of the god's will and fate.

Never in a thousands years did I imagine Robb Falling, Ned Falling, Catelyn Falling, My parents Falling and little Nadine and Ethan. There were people I have had walk into my life that I cherish, love and adore that have fallen.

Taken a part of my soul as they closed their eyes they were gone like the breeze that moves the trees. I could pin point my favourite memories with every single person I love and adore I just wished maybe I could take back time go back to Winterfell and never leave.

My eyes began flashing back to right now and as I got closer to Ironrath I felt my stomach turn and twist. The overwhelming need to throw up. Clenching my jaw I hit my horse a little harder. The hairs on my arms stood up.

'Something not right' my thoughts nagged as I rode faster. My heart raced like a rabbit held by its ears trying to escape. Biting the inside of my gums hard my head was spinning.

Jumping off my horse ignoring the reins to stop him my eyes captured the scene in front of me "No" I whispered "fuck no" Shaking my head I rounded up the horse again jumping back on "FUCK" I yelled as I hit harder.

As I rode tears stung my eyes "Ya…Ya…Ya" I yelled pushing my horse harder up the hill. I felt like I couldn't breath that someone was strangling me. Hitting the top of the hill I turned into the farm I knew Brent had the boys in.

My heart stopped at I came to a slow pace my eyes scanning the small folks and soldiers. Jumping off the horse I gripped my dagger walking silently onside the barn.

Shakily I lifted my hand to my mouth letting out an ear-piercing whistle. Tears flown when I watched my Direwolf limp "Shadow" I signed falling to my knees as I wrapped my hand around his large neck.

My thoughts ran to the unthinkable, my heart beating my eyes running like a waterfall. Fear gripped me like a vice-like grip "Where are they boy" I whispered looking into his big brown eyes.

Shadow stood to his height placing his mouth on my arm pulling me along, following him around the corner I seen Ice. The boys were wrapped in him as his head lay on Brent Lap.

Running I slide on my knees feeling the harsh cut as my knee ripped open. Picking Derek up "Mummy, Uncle Brent Hurt" He pouted my heart ached at his words but he looked okay.

"You okay?"

"Mummy sad" his lip pouted, shaking my head I pulled Derik to my lifting Ned up whom seem to be okay. These boys were growing up and the relief I felt knowing they were okay made my heart pump again.

I heard coughing beside me, putting Derik and Ned back down I crawled over to Brent, gripping his face in my hands "Brent who? What? Why? Are you okay?" I stuttered.

Brent chuckled his eyes screaming in pain as he did "Is my big…T-Tough sister crying for little oh me"

"Brent" I signed,

"I am fine" he nodded "As if they could kill me" He rolled his eyes

I shook my head "You're in agony and you still cocky as shit"

"Wouldn't be me" he nodded

shaking my head I ripped the end of my dress, wrapping it around his leg "Think that's bad you should see him" he smirked

"Brent" I signed all seriousness "What happened? Where Jaymie?"

Realisation hit him his eyes flickered "Ice and Shadow saved me" he nodded "But I asked Jaymie to check on Talia and than Bolton soldiers came"

"Ramsay here" I hissed venom in my tone.

"Please Lily" Brent gripped my hand "Please we have to get Jaymie help me-"

"No…you're not going anywhere"

"But-"

"But nothing you stay I'll go" I promised

"Lillian I love her"

"I know" I nodded "Now stay here" I passed him some water "Shadow, Ice stay here. Boy listen to your Uncle and Brent" I kneeled back in front of him "Be safe" Handing him my bow and Arrow.

"Lily the Glenmore Soldiers are dead, probably Arthur too" the dagger in my heart pressed again for another lost life.

"I got this" I nodded "I love you boys"

"Love you mummy" Derik called back pulling Ned closer to him.

I smiled sadly at them. It was hard to turn but I couldn't not turn. My blood began to boil as I jumped back upon my horse my inner demon coming out ready to play ball with the big bad Ramsay fucking Bolton.

Coming into Ironrath I searched the castle only to see lady Forrester tear stricken "Lady?" I questioned

"The grove" she nodded "The grove"

Gulping I backed up and turned on my heels running down the hallways of the castle. Taking a deep breath I left the horse and ran the wind whipping my face as I glided through the grove.

Coming to a halt I pause when I seen him "RAMSAY NO" I yelled loudly.

* * *

 **Hi guys, hope this chapter isn't too bad. Please, please review so I know what you're all thinking no point continuing if I don't know how you feel about it. Let you know too this chapter was written at 3am at work.**

 **Jeanette x**


	29. Chapter 29

It was too late; I felt my inner self-scream in pure agony. Arthur took his last breath tied to a post upside down his inside hanging out of his stomach. I felt sick as I walked closer, my tear refusing to slip from my eyes.

I tried to take a deep breath but the smell was too unpleasant, gulping back the dry lump in my throat I moved against my body want and need I moved. I could feel Ramsay eyes on me watching me, I reached his mincing eyes and the smile he wore dropped. My fists tighten into a ball.

Passing Rodrik I shook the hand that clasped on my shoulder, pushing him harshly off me. I moved forward standing toe to toe with said Lord of the North. I glared up into his green piercing eyes that screamed murder.

" _I would never hurt you Lily bug!" Ramsay smiled grabbing Lillian hand and swinging it as he walked down to the waterfall "You're my best friend I couldn't ever hurt you"_

 _Lillian stared at her childhood friend a big smile coming to her face "You know what Ramsay you should ask if you can live with us" Lillian shrugged "Than we can play everyday"_

 _Ramsay smiled "That would be good, I would love that"_

" _Well I'll write your father a letter" Lillian nodded in a matter of fact way._

 _Ramsay scoffed "You know he wouldn't read it Lillian, I'm not a Bolton" he signed avoiding all eye contact "I'm a snow, a bastard of the north"_

 _Lillian looked at Ramsay her eyes screaming with annoyance "As long as I live you're my friend, you're Ramsay Falls, you're Family" Lillian smiled bumping her shoulder with his as their feet moved in the warm water._

I thought of those words forever, friend/family but as I looked into these eyes he wasn't a friend, he wasn't family he was dirt. He had killed Nadine without a second thought, his father betrayed Robb and Lady Stark and now Arthur hangs dead among a cross.

"Lil-" I felt the burn of my knuckles as it connected with his jaw line. His head only turned to the side the fresh print already appearing on his white snow like cheeks.

I waited for his soldier to move but they didn't I have never seen so much red than I did staring at me. All those promises I made to my parents lie in the ground with Nadine, lay hurt with Brent. If hot steam could come out of my ears I'm sure you could have seen it as I glared up upon this so called friend.

"I deserve that" he nodded "My father did betray-" I felt the tingle go through me again as I connected with his other cheek "Lily-" I stood over him after my foot connected with his chest, a fit of coughing erupted from him on the ground a small sadistic smile on his face.

That's when I was pulled back his soldier gripping me roughly by the arms "I fucking hate you" I hissed.

His eyes flashed with pain but he masked it as he dusted himself off, standing on his own two feet now, he discarded me as he turned to Rodrik "I think I'm going to find it far more entertaining to see you and Ludd kill each other…I NEVER WANT TO COME BACK TO THIS FUCKING SHIT STAIN OF A HOLD FAST" he yelled in Rodrik face his cheeks bruising from my punch.

His eyes connected with mine "I have better things to do than be wet nurse to you and Ludd so settle this on your own, last house standing" He stared at me "wins. Otherwise I'll kill you both and be done" Ramsay Shrugged.

"You're insane" Rodrik gasped in shock.

"At least I'm not you" He spat "Bring her"

I felt myself being forced to walk, I frowned as I began to push back my heels digging into the dirt to try and stop the dragging but it was useless. I was dragged all the way away from Rodrik once out of sight "Leave us" Ramsay growled at his soldiers.

As I stared I examined him he wasn't the sweet boy I grew up with, his eyes glistened with a monster, I had killed but I wasn't killing and torturing for laugh's I was killing for survival.

"You hate me why?" he asked his tone holding the same voice it did many years ago, it was soft and innocent. Something I recognised.

My eyebrows knitted in anger "You don't know why?" I asked angrily

"I wasn't involved in the decision my father made Lillian, I'm sorry about Robb and Lady Stark I know they meant a lot to you" I held my hand up stopping him in his rant.

Moving closer I was once again toe-to-toe "You killed my fucking baby sister"

"No I never-"

"I buried her Ramsay I came back escaping the shit hole I was contained too only to get to Ironrath to see her fucking dead" I spat

"I would never hurt-"

"THE FUCKING GIRL WHO STOOD UP FOR ETHAN, ETHAN FUCKING BETROTHAL WAS MY FUCKING BABY SISTER" I yelled pocking him in the shoulder.

"Lillian I-"

"You killed two children because of Ludd Whitehill, Ludd who always called you a fucking bastard, who degraded you" I hissed "WHO CALLED YOU A FUCKING SHIT STAIN OF A BASTARD"

"Lillian-" he signed pain written in his eyes.

"I hate you," I whispered and if I could wound him anymore I had "And there will be a time when you die at my hands for what you have done"

"I never meant to hurt you Lillian" he signed "I always protected you, I've always swore alliance to your family"

"You broke that the day you put a knife to my baby sister neck" I pushed him back "Get the fuck away from me Ramsay. Your dead to me, I fucking hate you and I hope when you die its be someone more gentle than what I have planned for you"

He signed "I'm sorry Lillian I didn't know, I would never harm you and I still won't ever harm you…you're my best friend" I glared at him "I'm going to go now Lillian" he signed walking away from me.

I wanted to throw my dagger at the back of his head, I wanted to kill him, choke him to death but I let him walk away a part of me the inner child remember him as him a child, my best friend who would never hurt me.

I let him go and I hated myself for it. Hated that I didn't stick a dagger in his heart, a knife to his throat a sword across his belly. When Ramsay was no longer insight I took a step back.

Turning I walked angrily back towards Rodrik "Lillian you're okay" He smiled in shock pulling me into a gripping bear hug "I thought he would have-"

"I'm fine," I whispered

"Did you?"

"No the bastard still lives" I nodded because I let him go my thoughts screamed "I will fight with you" I nodded

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine" Nodding I walked away leaving him in the grove. My head screamed a million things at me. Turning the corner I found the wolves circling outside the castle, letting out a small whistle they followed me inside the castle.

Turning to one of the guards we had left "Shut the gate, send soldier to gather all the small folks left willing to fight" I nodded

"Yes Lady Falls" he nodded going outside.

As I turned some corners I could hear the wailing of Brent. Biting my lip "Stay" I ordered the wolves as I pushed open the door. The Maester working away on Brent leg.

"Lillian are you-? AHHHH FUCK ME OUCH FUCKIGN SEVEN HELLS" I flinched at his pain, walking over I grabbed his hand gripping "Are you okay?" he asked exhausted his body covered in sweat.

"I'm fine now shh brother"

Maester stood up washing his hand in water "All done keep that on or it will be infected and lose it…but other than that you will live" he nodded strongly "He probably need some rest"

Leaning over I kissed Brent forehead "I love you and thank you for protecting the boys"

"Always" he yawns

"Go to sleep" I muttered running my hand through his sweaty forehead pushing back his hair. His eyes slowly closed just like when he was younger; after I knew he was asleep I stepped out of the room sending in a whining Ice and Jaymie.

Grabbing the boys I walked back to the room, Shadow at my ankles, stepping up on the bed I pulled the boys in looking at them. Grabbing them with everything I had I held them. Shadow lying on bed with me as a slow tear finally escaped my eyes.

"I love you two more than the flowers loves the sun in summer and I will protect you with everything I have…you two are my beginning and my end" I whispered, "Sleep my boys, sleep"

 **A/N: I would like to personally apologise for those who have found it a struggle to read. My editing is not the best, the way I picture it sometimes doesn't turn out the way I want it too. So for the bad editing and confusing I am sorry but this is my first story and I hope for those who understand me are enjoying it.**

 **Jeanette x**


	30. Chapter 30

**Jon POV**

Metal hit metal as I helped Olly practice his sword work. Olly began to move forward picking my shield up I blocked his advance every time "Get your shield up" I growled placing my wooden sword to his throat.

"To heavy" Olly complained backing up but I followed him, sword still to his neck.

"If it wasn't heavy it wouldn't stop a sword now get it up" I hissed angrily I wanted to hate this boy I wanted to hate him for killing Ygritte, Grant only Daughter, Lillian niece but I couldn't hate him he was a boy seeking revenge for his family.

I advanced hard hitting his shield moving forward, Olly lost his balance falling into the mud, signing I walked over putting my hand down Olly took it letting me lift him off the ground. As I stared at him I thought of Bran, Rickon and Brent younger brother I had to help train in sword work.

Maybe my feeling were getting the better of me maybe I was being a bit more rough with him than I would be with my own brothers "Come try it again drive at me" Stepping forward I placed my hand on his head drawing him closer "keep your shield up or I will ring your head like a bell"

Olly drove at me hitting me over and over "Good. Good pivot don't forget to pivot" I called out blocking his advances. Olly stopped "Shield up" I growled angrily but Olly nodded behind me.

Signing I turned to see the red women "The king wants a word" nodding I followed her, entering the lifts I could feel her staring at me wearing next to nothing in the cold winter breeze "You're not cold milady?" I asked

"Never...The lords fire lives within me Jon Snow" she took my gloves off "Feel" placing my hand to her cheek. She wasn't lying her skin was warm. Pulling my arm away I looked forward "Are you a virgin"

"No" I grunted staring blindly away from her

"Good"

Entering the top off the wall Stannis stood staring out at the north "Your grace the bastard of Winterfell" I kneeled only standing when I saw him beckon me up

"You know who rules at Winterfell now?" he asked

"Roses Bolton" I muttered annoyed, just his name brought a sour taste to my mouth

"Hmm the traitor who plunged a dagger in Robb stark heart" Stannis nodded "Don't you want to revenge him?" the thought of my brother death squeezed my heart to no man, the man I admired fallen. My best friend. My elder brother. Fallen.

Liking fallen stones many in my life had closed their eyes. My father, Lady stark even though she wasn't kind I didn't wish death upon her, Robb, his wife and unborn child. Ygritte a child and now little...little Nadine I couldn't imagine the type of havoc Lillian was giving.

I wanted nothing more than to take back Winterfell, to save my sisters and brothers. To revenge my family and to marry Lillian, god, to even hold her in my arms and kiss those pink lips.

"I want great many things, your grace" I exclaimed "But I am a sworn brother of the nights watch now"

"I've been talking to your sworn brothers many love you" Davos exclaimed

"They're good man" I nodded in agreement

"Many don't. You were seen taking the body of a wildling girls north of the wall...why?"

"Where she belonged...She was but a child" feeling no guilt for taking Ygritte north of the wall.

"Some of the nights watch feel you have to much affection for the wildlings"

"They were born on the wrong side of the wall. Doesn't make them monsters"

"No matter. I shall take back the North from the thieves who stole it. Tywin Lannister is dead. He can't protect them now. I shall mount Roose Bolton head on a spike. But if I'm to take Winterfell I'll need more man"

"The Men of the Night Watch are sworn to play no part-"

"I'm not talking about the damn Night's watch. I'm talking about the wildlings," Stannis snapped walking away

Following quickly "Your grace, you want the wilding to march in your army?" I asked shocked

"If they swear to follow me, I'll pardon them. We'll take Winterfell. Once the North is won, I'll declare them citizens of the realm. I'll give them land to live on"

"It's a fair offer. More than fair" Davos shrugged

"I'll offer them their lives and their freedom if Mance kneels before me and swears his loyalty-"

"I don't think that's likely" I interrupted

"You admire him, don't you?" Stannis nodded

"I respect him" I nodded

"He likes you. Convince him to bend the knee" Stannis exclaimed

"Your grace"

"Or he burns" I gulped at his words

"How much time do I have?" I asked

"Nightfall. The sun drops fast this time of year. Hurry, Jon Snow," He yelled walking away, groaning I stared up at the sky "give me faith" I mumbled.

…

I stared at the door that held Mance hostage, this was going to be a big task at hand and sadly I didn't see him coming out victorious. Taking a deep breath I entered the room. Mance stared at me "So here we are"

"Here we are" I nodded approaching him

"When we first met you were my prisoner. And now, for our last meeting."

"This doesn't have to be our last meeting" I sated

"No, But I will be"

"You know what Stannis wants?" I questioned

"He wants me to bend the knee. And he wasn't the free folk to fight for him. I'll give him this much, his bold" he nodded looking out the window in the room he sat in.

"Shouldn't a king be bold?" I asked

"Oh. Aye. I respect him, If he gets what he wants, I expect he'll be better ruler than the fools sitting on the iron throne the last hundred years. But I'll never serve him" Mance stood proudly

"You told me you weren't here to conquer. You told me your people have bled enough," I signed

"That's right" He snapped his head towards me "But I don't want them bleeding for stannis Baratheon either"

I stared at the man in front of me shocked "You spent your life convincing 90 clans to come together for the first time in history. Thenns and Hornfoots, the ice-river clans, even the giants" I signed "A life's work uniting them. You didn't do it for power. You didn't do it for glory" I stated annoyed

"You brought them together to save them because none of them will survive the winter, not if they're north of the wall. Isn't their survival more important than you pride?" I questioned

"Pride?" he asked standing as he stood in front of me "Fuck my Pride. This isn't about that," Mance growled angrily

"Than bend the knee and save your people-"

"They followed because they respected me. Because they believed in me. The moment I kneel for a Southern king that's all gone" Mance glared at me

"And how many tens of thousands are out there right now? How many women? How many children? And you won't go out and rescue them because why? You're afraid of looking afraid," I asked

"Oh, I am afraid. No shame in that" he nodded taking a seat on the table "How will they do it? Beheading? Hanging?"

I signed looking down "They'll burn you alive"

"Bad way to go. I'll be honest with you, I don't want to die. And burnt to death, I don't want people to remember me like that. Scorched and screaming. But it's better than betraying everything I believe"

Moving forward "And what happens to your people? You preserve your dignity and die standing, and they'll sing songs about you. You'd rather burn than kneel. The great hero. Until winter comes, and the white walkers come for us all, and there's no one left to sing"

Mance nodded "You're a good lad. Truly, you are. But if you can't understand why I won't enlist my people in a foreigner's war, there's no point explaining" he shrugged

I stared at this brave man in front of me, knocking on the door I turned staring at him one more time "I think you're making a terrible mistake" I signed

Mance nodded "The freedom to make my own mistakes was all I ever wanted" I nodded leaving the room.

…

The night grew and sadly Mance time was up, I knew he wouldn't kneel. My eyes found Tormund's he looked so devastated and I felt his pain. I watched him walk hands in cuff standing in front of Stannis.

"Mance Rayder, you've been called the King Beyond the Wall. Westeros only has one king. Bend the knee, I promise you mercy" Stannis nodded

I watched Mance eyes look to his people, the free folk. His eyes sang with hurt as he stared as his man in chains. Than his eyes fall on me and I feel my heart in my throat like I was stuck in a hard position.

"Kneel and live" Stannis called

Mance looked around "This was my home for many years. I wish you good fortune in the wars to come"

Stannis nods. Stannis men take Mance onto a burning funeral pyre and tie him to it. Melisandre walks to the front of the pyre.

"We all must choose…Man or woman, young or old, lord or peasant, our choices are the same. We choose light, or we choose darkness. We choose good, or we choose evil. We choose the true god or the false" Her eyes fell on me before she turned to the guard holding a torch.

"'Free folk, there is only one true king, and his name is Stannis. Here stands the king of lies. Behold the fate of those who choose the darkness" She nodded lighting the pyre on fire.

I watched a strong man begin to panic as the fire grew, licking his legs. Shaking my head I turned away not wanting to watch it no more. Climbing the high point I gripped a bow the sounds of Mance mutters to hold his groan was heard, letting my breath go I released my arrow watching it pierce his heart and silenced the great Mance Rayder.

All eyes fell on me but I didn't care as I turned away heading to my chamber. I began to pace my living quarters Ghost eyes watching me as I walked back and fourth. I knew I would be spoken to but I couldn't hear him scream I wouldn't hear it.

 **Lillian POV**

I couldn't thank Jaymie enough for all that she has done. She was like a silent angel that came to us when we needed her most. I gave a small smile as I watched her bicker with Brent about eating.

"You need to eat" Jaymie muttered

"I am Jaymie" Brent laughed

"Eat more you need the strength," she pointed out

"Mmm the strength" he winked

Jaymie jaw dropped in shock "Stop it"

I couldn't help but let my laugh escape watching Jaymie face go red and Brent chuckled along side me "I think before we ride for Asher there is something that needs to occur tonight"

"What be that?" Brent asked food in his mouth

"Charming brother" I rolled my eyes at his disgusting table manners "I see you two are inseparable, in love if I dare say and well almost doing each other at this table" I stated

If Jaymie face couldn't be redder it was now "I-I-I" she stuttered embarrassed

Putting my hand up "Nevertheless I am here to say that I support you two and I'm giving you my blessings" I nodded

"Blessing?" Brent asked confused

"I am blessing you two to wed" I stated

I stared at them both Brent and Jaymie smiling "When?" Brent asked

"Well we leave for the coast first light so today" I nodded

"If Jaymie wishes" Brent nodded now staring at Jaymie

"Jaymie wishes" she smirked staring at Brent.

…

In such little time and with hardly and food, drink or guest we gathered at the Weirwood tree in the grove, I watched Jaymie walk wearing Lady Forresters old wedding dress it fit perfect.

"Who comes before the old gods this night?" Rodrik Forrester asked

"Jaymie Snow bastard child of the north comes to wed" I spoke "A women grown of age, pure and loyal to the north…she comes to beg the blessings of the gods"

"Who comes to claim her" Rodrik asked

"Lord Brent Falls Heir to Icefalls" he smiled

"Who gives her?"

"Lady Lillian Falls of House Icefalls" I spoke

"Jaymie Snow of the North will you take this man?"

"I take this man" she smiled taking his hand.

I couldn't help but let a tear slip from my eyes finally something good and pure. A moment to look back on with all this heartache and say hey we did okay, something amazingly good happened.

I clapped like an overly proud sister as they kissed. Sticking my hand in my mouth I let out a loud whistle as they walked back to the castle. WE didn't have many people nor did we celebrate but we did sit for a dinner.

I watched the couple dance to no music and drink and kiss "Speech" Rodrik yelled

everyone silenced when Brent stood "I was once a boy whom didn't know much of anything. I was a boy who pined after a girl older than me; a boy who had never knew hardship or pain. But standing beside me was the women who raised me, the women who I look up to every single second of the day" he stared at me

"My sister and without her I wouldn't have been half the man for Jaymie, you came into our life out of no where. And Since the day we meet Jaymie has stood loyal to not only myself but to my family" he smiled at Jaymie "So to my sister thank you, thank you for this beautiful yellow hair, green eye angel that stands in front of me with a kind heart and outrageous passion to stand with two insane siblings…I hope the gods are good to us, I hope we grow old with a life filled with pure happiness" Brent toasted

"Here…Here" Everyone yelled sipping their drinks.

The night slowly came to an end and Jaymie and Brent went to consummate their marriage. I let my mind wonder to what I could have had. I would have loved to marry Jon but sadly those choices weren't in the deal.

Pressing my lips together I laid in the bed, staring up at the ceiling. Tomorrow we ride to intercept an ambush, I hope, I pray that nothing come to Asher and his man. 

* * *

**Sorry for the late update, been a bit busy. Hope you like and enjoy.  
Please review**

 **Jeanette x**


	31. Chapter 31

**Jon Snow**

I stood in front of Stannis the so called king his face angry his eyes wild, I disobeyed him I knew this but I wouldn't let one of the most respected people I have ever met die the way Stannis wanted screaming I can still hear it.

"I ordered Mance Rayder burned at the stake. You prevented that order from being carried out. You showed mercy to Mance Rayder. The King's word is law. Perhaps you should ask Ser Davos how much mercy I show to lawbreakers" I said nothing tight lipped "Show too much kindness, people won't fear you. If they don't fear you, they don't follow you" Stannis hissed.

"With respect, Your Grace, the free folk will never follow you no matter what you do. You're the man who burned their king alive" I shrugged

"Who then? You?" He asked.

"No" I shook my head "Only one of their own"

Stannis released a breath his frustration melting just a slight not complete "Do you know this wretched girl? Lyanna Mormont" He asked pushing me a piece of parchment.

"Lord Commander's niece" I confirmed moving forward to pick up the parchment

"Lady of Bear Island. And a child of ten. I asked her to commit her house to my court. That's her response"

"Bear Island knows no king but the King in the North, whose name is Stark" I chuckled

"That amuses you" He questioned

"I apologize, Your Grace. Northerners commit a bit like the free folk. Loyal to their own" I admitted thinking of Grant.

"I know. My brother, Robert, went on often and loudly about how difficult it was to control them. Even with your father's help" Stannis agreed.

"Tonight, the Night's Watch elect a new Lord Commander. Ser Alliser Thorne is going to win" Ser davos stated

"Unpleasant, I expect" I signed

"Your bravery made him look weak. He'll punish you for it. I don't punish men for bravery. I reward them"

"I don't doubt that, Your Grace. But I am a brother of the Night's Watch. I have pledged them my life, my honor, my sword. I don't know what I have left to give you"

"You can give me the North" he suggested

I stared at Stannis "I can't. Even if I wanted to, I'm a bastard...A Snow"

"Kneel before me. Lay your sword at my feet. Pledge me your service and you'll rise again as Jon Stark, Lord of Winterfell"

I stared at Stannis my jaw dropped I was so shocked it's all I ever wanted growing up well beside Lillian I wanted to be Jon stark I wanted that name and then I would be able to marry Lillian and she would become a wolf, a stark like she was raised to be.

…..

"He'll make you a Stark with a stroke of a pen" Sam smiled

"It's the first thing I ever remember wanting. I daydreamed that my father would ask the king. Just like that I would never be the bastard of Winterfell again"

"No, you deserve that. You do. I-I couldn't be happier for you" Sam nodded a smile on his face

"I'm gonna refuse him"

"But... you'd be Lord of Winterfell" Sam didn't understand "You could marry Lillian" he signed "you could have everything you ever wanted Jon, everything"

Grabbing the locket around my neck my hand going over the engraving of the waterfall back in icefalls "I could but" Shaking my head.

"Jon" Sam signed

"No" I didn't blame him for questioning my answer, a part of me wanted to throw my sword down straight away and bend the knee. Pledge my allegiance march north take Winterfell, get Lillian trust again and find what's left of my family.

" I swore a vow to the Night's Watch. If I don't take my own word seriously, what sort of Lord of Winterfell would that be?" I question a oath breaker that's what lord it would be and who am I to walk in Robb footstep to stand where my father stood.

Lillian POV

When morning broke I stood just watching the boys sleep they had grown so much Derik a young boy walking, talking and Ned crawling. It was as if in a blink of an eye I missed it all. My heart swelled as I realized how selfish I had been how I had let my feeling for Jon and my grief and loss cloud the two good things in my life and Brent he was here.

The sound of knocking hit my ear, shadow head snapped up his eyes following me as I moved to the door her stance not moving away from the boys in the bed. Opening the door it was Brent "the horses are ready"

I stared at Brent really stared at him he no longer had a baby face it had grown and aged lines appeared on his once innocent face but he too have spilt blood he too lives with that on his conscious "I'm sorry" I whispered to him.

"Lillian?" He frowned the smile and glow from last night washed away with pure concern.

"I have done this to you don't come stay with your wife" I nodded "I am selfish and broken and-"

"And my sister a bond no man women or child could break. You're human and you were blinded by grief" Brent stepped forward cupping my cheeks forcing me to look him in the eyes "I do not hate you I do not blame you don't stare at them and think you have gone wrong Lillian"

"Brent I have missed so much"

"Missed what? you fed Derik and Ned from your own breast, change them, cloth them, kept them warm and safe. You tell them stories every night, taught Derik to walk and talk, Ned to crawl….you have done nothing wrong Lillian"

Pressing my lips together "stay here" I begged "be with your wife"

"Leave you blindsided no way" he shook his head big smile on his face "stop being such an old worrying hag and kiss those boys goodbye and let's got saddle our horses and get Asher home"

Placing my hand over his "grab a child will take them to Jaymie" Brent stared at me searching but I remained still, he signed slipping his hand from my cheek and moving to pick up Ned "looks just like Robb" I muttered.

Moving forward I grabbed Derik "momma" he murmured in his sleep.

"Shhh" I hushed placing a soft kiss on his forehead.

"Just like his father too" Brent nodded to Derik.

"I know" I whispered "acts like him too" I smirked

Shadow followed behind us walking in Jaymie was half asleep half-awake ice laying on the bed by her feet. Jaymie leant on the bed beside her placing a soft kiss to her cheek. Jaymie head snapped to me as I laid Derik beside her tucking the blankets around him "Lillian keep him safe please" Jaymie begged.

"You need not to worry about him, he will come back to you" I vowed "Now go back to sleep and before we know it we will be back…Ice and Shadow will stay by you protect you from anything" I smiled "Be well sister"

Leaning forward I placed A kiss on my curly black-haired boy's forehead. He too was very much his father moody and stubborn but carefree and funny. Biting the inside of my gums I felt my heart crush leaving them again, thinking of him.

"We must go" Brent spoke, looking up he wasn't talking to me he was talking to Jaymie her hands placed on his chin, they were married and nothing would stop me from protecting him. Pressing my lips together I kissed Ned and then headed towards the door.

"I love you Brent Falls"

"And I you Jaymie Falls" the sound of her laughing made me smile. Grabbing the door handle I pushed the door open giving them some alone time. Walking I wiped the stray tear that had slipped from my eyes.

Down the stairs I saw Rodrik talking to his sister, letting out a shaky breath I approached him Talia walking away from Rodrik "Are you ready?" He asked his eyes still watching his baby sister as she retreated back to her chambers.

"Rodrik I need something from you," Rodrik eyes snapped to me, his concern obvious on his face as he moved forward grabbing my hand his eyes searching mine "I need your family I swore alliance, I swore to fight with you and beside you and I have and I will…but I need your word"

"Anything Lillian" he nodded squeezing my hand.

"If I fall-"

"Lillian" Rodrik shook his head "you won't"

"Rodrik please listen…if I fall I need you, I-I need you to take the four of them, take them under your wing, protect them with everything you have"

"Lillian I don't see much happening to you" he smirked "you're Lillian falls, born from the falls that never freeze. Your heart will never freeze over just like the waterfalls back home"

"I am flesh and bone and I am not protected nor am I immortal so swear it"

"I swear it I will never betray you" nodding footsteps echo through the hallway, turning I watched Brent bounce down the stairs "I Will watch over them" turning my head back to Rodrik he gave my hand one last squeeze before letting go.

"Ready?" Brent asked

Nodding "Let's go grab Asher"

Walking outside I jumped on my horse and as we rode we were silent no one spoke, everyone eyes were on the road watching closely. Brent rode beside me his hand tightening on his bow awaiting anything.

The port was quiet to quiet dismounting my horse I stared watching a ship come in "That would be Asher" I nodded, Rodrik eyes followed coming to stand beside me "I don't like this Rodrik" I stated.

"Lets move quickly" Brent nodded

I watched them port I watched as they moved forward. Asher bloody Forrester I couldn't believe my eyes as I watched him walk his head held high, his blue eyes hard like steel as he stared at us his Soldiers behind him eyeing us and rubbing their bare arms.

"Asher thank the gods you made it back" Rodrik voice was filled with relief at seeing his brother.

"Good to see you Milord" Asher nodded, looking at Brent he wore the same expression Asher was bitter I did not blame him I too would be bitter after being sent to exile because person my heart fell for only to be brought back when it suited them.

Rodrik eyes sadden but his chin rose "Hope you're ready for a fight" he stepped towards his younger brother "Ludd knows your coming he sent man to intercept you we need to hurry" Rodrik nodded to his man walking past Asher.

Asher cracked his neck "Been stuck on a boat for weeks could use a good fight" he admitted nodding to his soldiers they began to walk towards the gate following Brent "You look familiar" he stared at me.

"It has been a long time since you saw me Asher" I admitted

His eyebrow frowned as his eyes examined him, the lady beside him a fowl expression on her face as he watched Asher eyes trail me "I know that sigil from anywhere" he pointed to my coat "Lillian Falls" he smiled reaching out he wrapped me in his arms "I have missed you"

Laughing we pulled apart Rodrik looking at us "We should get a move on"

Nodding Asher arm's we still around me as we turned we saw a soldier that wasn't ours "Rodrik" I whispered my eyes scanning for Brent he was ouside the gate, my heart was in my throat as I watched him run towards the gate, cutting the rope releasing the iron gate to the ground.

"LILLIAN" Brent Screamed

"GET THAT GATE OPEN" I screamed turning my back in front of Asher and Rodrik, Whitehills approaching our backs pressed to the gate as the biggest man was struggling to lift the iron gate. Pulling my father sword out.

"Been a while since I killed any Whitehills" Asher admitted his hand pulling me in-between the Forrester Brothers, turning my head towards the Gate Brent was kneeling tears flowing as he tried to lift the gate.

I watched as Whitehills approached slowly Asher was the first to take someone down and in seconds Rodrik and I moved covering each other back as we sliced our swords in approaching Whitehills.

The sound of the gate boomed back to the ground frowning I turned to see it slammed shut, turning I kicked the man body off my sword. Rodrik and Asher ran to the lever. Turning I fought off those who came near only to hear Asher Grunt.

"ASHER"

"RAISE THE GATE" I YELLED

"LILLIAN"

"ASHER YOU HAVE TO GET OUT OF THERE"

Running to the boys I fought of those coming near, when I got closer the arrows stopped flying towards me at the doing of Gryff and that's when I realised.

"The gate will fall without one us holding it" Rodrik signed "One of us has to stay" Turning I looked at Brent him being held back as he screamed against his holder. Knew what I had to do, I knew how to save them. GRabbing the wood the brothers turned to me.

"GO! Run! Keep your promise I've got this" I yelled at the Forrester Brother "KEEP THEM SAME"

"Lillian"

"GO" I yelled pushing them out of the way, they didn't have to be told twice as they ran off sliding under the gate once on the other side, I let go it slamming to the ground once again. Running over to the gate "Iron from ice Lillian"

"Water that doesn't Freeze now go"

"LILLIAN DON'T YOU DARE, NO...NO...NO YOUR ALL I GOT"

Brent came to me touching my hand on the gate "You have them you have Jaymie a Family"

"NO" he shook his head "NO"

"Take care of them Brent" I took a deep breath "Father them" I whispered "GO TAKE HIM, GO HOME" I yelled watching Rodrik and Asher drag a screaming Brent against his will. His eyes killed me.

"Lillian Falls" turning the soldiers were close but they didn't move "You let them escape"

"FUCK YOU" I spat

Gryff jumped off his horse walking over to me sword drawn I raised an eyebrow, his hand went up and soldiers backed off "I'm going to tell them that you died, I'm going to say that each of man took their turn with you"

Smirking I stood up from my fighting stance "Use couldn't handle me and like you have said before I am Lillian Falls and I am under the protection of Ramsay Snow, you can't hurt me without him wiping out all of you" I saw some of the soldiers lower and put their weapons away.

Gryff jaw tighten "And I'm sure Ramsay won't allow you to use me in your game not if I ask him"

Gryff asked "Grab her, tie her up but do not hurt her" he signed losing his will to fight his jaw tight. One of the guards moved forward and I stared at him weapon still drawn "Drop weapon Lillian"

"No"

"Drop it or when we march for Ironrath I will take your bastard children" I glared at him "Ramsay knows nothing of them he won't protect them" Dropping my father sword I threw my bow and arrows on the dirt ground placing my hands together.

The guards laughed as they tied me up but I just stared at Gryff what a dangerous card to play, a very silly card. My children are everything and if they're about to march I know the women would have been sent away with the children.

The tug of the rope caused me to walk "You looked good tied up" Turning my head I kicked the man in the stomach watching him fall to the ground coughing.

"Don't test her let her be or Ramsay will have your heads" Gryff yelled.

 **Hi guys,**

 **sorry for the disappearance, laptop blew up lost all original chapters and had to write it on my phone and well as you can imagine I've been having some updating issues so fingers crossed this is okay p. As always review and see you all soon.**

 **Jeanette**


	32. Chapter 32

_"Lillian, I want to be like you...you're so strong so brave so outrageously quick" Brent tossed his sword around in front of Lillian stabbing the air. Lillian laughed coming closer to her brother bending to his height she readjusted his hand on the sword._

 _"You will be better than me" She smiled her eyes never leaving his as a slow smile crept on his innocent face "You will be quicker, Braver, Stronger and wars will come and they will scream your name Brent Falls the unfrozen, the untouched, the unbreakable" Lillian smiled "We are raised by wolves and loved by a pack" Lillian head looked up at Jon and Robb sparing with each other with wooden swords "You will learn and you will be great"_

 _Nothing made Lillian happier than that smile the smile of her siblings, Brent dreams of being a great fighter and Nadine she dreams of pure happiness, she learns to be a lady but isn't afraid to learn a task "Where is your sister?" Lillian questioned._

 _"She's with the cooks" Brent laughed "learning to bake pies"_

 _"Of course, she is" Lillian laughed "Jon, Robb" both boys stopped sparing putting their full attention on Lillian "can Brent spar with use?" Lillian questioned._

 _"Sure, come on Brent" Jon smiled_

 _Lillian watched Brent spare with Robb as Jon came and stood next to her "Jon" Lillian whispered turning to Jon "thank you"_

 _"Thank you?" He questioned confusion written on his face "what are we saying thanks for?"_

 _Lillian place a hand on Jon's both their heart beating rapidly but their faces remained the same, no words uttered about their love "thank you for making me happy again" Jon face light up "you and Robb and everyone use took us in and for that I am grateful and I am happy"_

 _Jon felt the pang in his heart as her words stopped he was hoping to hear other words "it's been a pleasure" Jon faked a smile placing his cold hands on hers._

 _"Lillian look" Brent laughed as he had managed to somehow get Robb on the ground his laughter field the grounds._

 _Robb stared at Brent love in his eyes and remained down it was a split decision that brought him to the ground in his back but one that brought a smile to Lillian and Brent face. Robb loved his best friend/sister and his little brother and brother the three of them needed happiness in their lives._

 _"Lillian, Brent look at my pie it looks good it smells good and I've baked plenty come inside mother and father are waiting" she screamed clapping her hands in pure joy._

 _The four of them followed the bubbly Nadine into the great hall and sat to eat Lillian eyes glanced over the family who brought her in. Jon eyes laid on lady Starks and his whole body stiffened. Lillian grabbed his hand pulling him into the seat next to hers, her eyes moving to the women who raised her daring to test her today._

 _"Mother, father" Nadine smiled placing pie in front of lady and lord stark "Robb, Jon, Theon" Nadine went around and around passing out her baked pie._

 **Brent POV**

I Stood in the watch tower Ice at my side laying at my feet keeping them cosy in the cold air, the winds were changing the nights grew colder. But I didn't care if my testicles froze off I refused to leave this tower I refused my eyes to leave the gate awaiting to see my sister I prayed for her escape, she's Lillian falls the smartest women I know.

My heart clenched together as I heard crying and I knew those tears were the boys begging for Lillian. Letting out a shaky breath I followed the sound into my bedchambers watching Jaymie try to calm them.

Placing my sword at the end of the bed I crawled up the bed wrapping my hands around Derik pulling him to my side "Shh" I whispered as Jaymie did the same to Ned. Rocking back and forth like I had many times before.

"I hate this" Jaymie shook her head her eyes threatening to spill with heavy tears "I hate this so much"

Looking over at my wife I reached out pulling her to my side "we promised to protect them as if they were our own" I whispered laying a kiss on her forehead "that is why come morning break you're leaving off to bear island, I have already sent a raven to the head of Mormont they're expecting you and lady forrester"

"WHAT?" Jaymie spat angrily

"Do not argue with me on this please, I beg you I can't imagine how I will stand when I find out my sister is dead, or if I will be the same man you fell in love with but I can tell you that if something happened to you three anything at all I will take my life myself, so please go be protected Jaymie"

"Husband" she signed moving towards me "I can't imagine being without you"

Kissing the top of Jaymie blonde head "And I can't live without you, you can live without me but not the other way around Jaymie so please I beg of you do not fight me on this just do as I ask"

"Brent please I beg you don't send us away...you would never send Lillian away" she spat pure hurt and anger in her tone "And she too was a lady"

"I she was a lady" anger exploding as I stared at my silly wife "who at young age survived invasion in her own home, she rode with Nadine and myself in her arms, from that day she was a mother, a sister and grief struck women, every day she trained and no one stopped her, she pictured their faces over and over again" I signed "she lost our parents, the love of her life, our adoptive parents and brother, kidnapped, raped, tortured" I shook my head.

"Brent please"

"From there Jaymie she lost her sister buried her in the tombs of our ancestors, then she took you in protected you allowed me to marry the women I fell in love with so no I wouldn't speak to my sister the way I did you I wouldn't boss her around because she is Lillian falls a warrior, a mother, a sister and without her I am lost" I signed dropping to my knees in front of her "lost" I whispered tears flowing as she dropped to the floor cradling my head.

"Uncle Brent" looking up Derik was holding Ned hand.

"Ned" I questioned "you're walking?" I laughed "come here Ned" I clapped Derik released Ned hand and he wobbled towards me I smiled the first good thing since Lillian capture maybe death. White hills have slipped no news and the forresters won't let me leave.

Wrapping my arms around him "good work Ned so good" I laughed "come here Derik" Derik ran into my arms and I hugged these two curly haired boys "I love you"

"Love you too" Derik replied

"Love" Ned yelled

Looking up at jaymie "you will be leaving in the morning" her jaw clenched, one tear fell sliding down her cheeks but she nodded okay.

"Brent" looking up from the ground I stared at the Forrester brothers I hadn't spoken to one of them ignored them at any second they approached me, I had spent many nights upon that watch tower and if I wasn't there I was pacing the hallways of Ironrath keep. 

"Pack your things" I stood kissing my wife on the lips "I will see you shortly" Jaymie nodded taking the boys hands and walking off. 

I stared at the brothers "what is it" I asked harshly 

"We need to talk" 

Nodding I followed them into the great room taking a seat at the table my hand drummed on the table as I waited for what was to come "I promised your sister I would protect use; 3 guards will take the women of the house to Bear Island"

"Agreed" 

"I am sorry but I feel as if she is safe" Asher spoke "its Lillian and from what I've been told if Ramsay is playing puppet master to this than she is under his protection, they were best friends"

"Yes, they were friends until Lillian slapped him in the face, punched him in front of his man" I signed "maybe he allowed it as a token for killing my sister but who knows...Ramsay and the Bolton's aren't to be trusted" 

"They're going to come, Lillian probably took some soldiers" Rodrik nodded "if Whitehill's were smart they would have taken her to Ramsay if not she will be with them and if she is with them than we need a plan of attack for Lillian and Ryon"

 **Jon POV**

I stared at Sam distaste on my mind as I signed the parchment for rose Bolton to send man and supplies to castle black. Once my name was signed I pushed back my chair my hand going to my face unhappily. 

Sam walked away, groaning I stared at the door as the red women walked in, she's beautiful no doubt about it but she isn't my Lillian she isn't what I wanted to see right now "my apologies malady" Sam stared at me nodding he left us as I stared at the red woman.

"Lord commander"

"How can I help you?" I questioned

"Come with us when we ride south, none of us know the castle as well as you, it's hidden tunnels it's weaknesses its people. Winterfell was your home once. Don't you want to chase the rats out of it?" She asked turning to me.

"Castle black is my home now, nights watch takes no part in the wars of the seven kingdoms" I stated

"There is only one war life against death, come let me show you what you're fighting for" I stared at her as she moved closer to me.

"You going to show me some vision in the fire?" I questioned "forgive me milady I don't trust in visions"

"No visions, no magic just life" my eyes widen when she opened her dress her breast staring back at me" I stared frozen as she gripped my hand moving it to her breast slowly, my hand touched her nipple "do you feel my heart beating?" She asked "this power in you, you resisted and that's your mistake embrace it" she smiled staring at her my hand still touching her.

Shaking my head, I removed my hand fast, she took this as a moment to sit on me her hand creasing my cheek, my head swam with the time I shared with Lillian about the look on her face if she seen this, I won't betray her.

"Lord of light made us male and female, two parts of a greater whole. We are joint this power, power to make life, power to make light and power to cast shadows" her face was close to mine.

"I don't think Stannis would like that very much" I whispered

"We shouldn't tell him" she smiled seductively at me. Her hands beginning to pull the string of my leather coat

"I can't"

"Why"

"I swore a vow" not the night watch one Lillian I swore she would be my only "I love another"

"Dead don't need lovers only the living" she stated grabbing my pants. Grabbing her hand, I stopped her holding her hand tight in my own.

"Luckily she's alive and I still love her" letting go of her hand she stood getting off my lap "And if she was here not even the lord light could save god no one can stop a waterfall once it begins to flow" I smirked at the words remembering them the day she threatens me god that day she was mad. Red lady signed and exited my chambers. When I was alone I shook my head why would I let it get that far why would I let her disrobe in front of me if Lillian knew she would have my head fuck she would have the red woman head. I know no fury like hers.

 **Lillian POV**

I had been blindfold the whole time sat in darkness not touched not harmed, not spoken too. I was alone and my thoughts ran wild my children, my brother no word had gotten to them Brent probably thinks of me as dead. 

Standing my hands grazed the walls feeling the cold stone under my palm. But I couldn't make out where I was because I couldn't see it was so dark. The sound of squeaking metal doors opening made me turn "lady Falls" turning I stared at a young man holding a torch "Ludd whitehill wishes to speak to you"

"Why?"

"I do not know maybe to taught you" he signed

Nodding I moved closer not feeling up to hurting this young man placing my hand out he clapped the chain and began walking he never tugged or treated me roughly a different feeling from kings landing.

"Please sit" here I was again a prisoner this time sitting at the round table I once sat at before looking up guards stood but not as protected as last time I sat here.

"Lillian" a loud booming voice echoed through the castle one by one Gryff, Gwen and Ludd approached taking a seat a fair distance away from me Gwen never making eye contact.

"Tomorrow Ramsay man will come collect you and we, we will take ironrath" Ludd beamed, I stared at the fat old man shaking my head a slow sarcastic smile appearing on my castle.

"You're a traitor Ludd Whitehill, a Traitor...When I am back at Winterfell I will take it and you Ludd will be beheaded by yours truly" I smiled "Your whole traitor family" I spat in Gwen direction.

"Says you betraying our family for them why them" Gryff hissed "WE'RE OF THE NORTH, GWEN AND GRANT WERE BEST OF FRIENDS"

"Because I was raised by Wolves" shaking my head "and you betrayed them Forrester never did they were loyal" I shrugged "plus you know you got my little sister and Ethan murdered so I hope the gods have something awful planned for you, that you never sleep in peace when death knocks at your door"

Silence filled the room anger radiating off Ludd, Gryff now quiet his eye patch covering his right eyes from where Rodrik beat him half to death "eat this might be your last meal"

I scoffed "if I am under his protection do you think he wouldn't fucking feed me?" I questioned "all you had to do was hand of Ryon they probably would have given you their lands but as per usual you were to selfish and now war brew between two house and god know the north needs all their man"

"TAKE HER AWAY" Ludd screamed

Laughing I stood "why don't you come silence me oh Lord Whitehill" I teased "teach me a lesson"

"AWAY WITH HER" I felt the guard grab me lifting me from the ground growling I kicked the table food and drinks spilling everywhere the guard struggling to hold me as I squirmed.

"FUCKING PUSSY LUDD YOU'RE GOING TO DIE YOU FUCKING FOOL, I HOPE THEY BRING ME YOUR HEAD AS A FUCKING TROPHY" I screamed as I was being dragged down corridors.

"Shut her up" one guard groaned and I felt it the sting the taste of blood staring at him I smirked as he pushed me into my cell darkness flooding the room as I sat there feeling like a crazed woman. Laughing I couldn't help it I laughed and it echoed in the dungeon.

* * *

 **AN: Please forgive the spelling and grammar once again I wrote this on my phone please forgive and please review 10 reviewa and I will put the next chapter up this week if not I will see you when its updated.**

 **Jeanette**


	33. Chapter 33

**Lillian POV**

Coldness crept down the dungeon the cold winter air licking at my bare skin. Shivers rolling down my body as I sat in my cell my arms wrapped around my knees rocking back and forth. My throat dry and painful the laughter had died down after the cold air began to nip at my skin. Wiping my nose from the water that began to drip, my thoughts going to a happier time, a time when we use to run around and have fun.

The sound of metal and keys rattling hit my ears and this time I didn't care for playing nice, standing my body ached from standing so rapidly, bending I began scraping my hand among the ground, feeling something large in my palm of my hand I lifted it, light crept into my cell. Standing to my full height I ran to the door hiding near the stone walls when the door opened a guard crept in, squeezing the rock tight I let out a little whistle his face turning to me, smiling I pounded the rock into his head "GUARDS" laughing I kicked the gate shut wrapping my arm around his throat and my legs around his body stopping him from moving and began to squeeze.

"LET HIM GO" another guard yelled "or I swear"

"You'll what?" I asked a smile appearing on my face as the Torch alight my cell "you'll what?" I teased pressing tighter on the guards neck.

"I'll Fucking kill you, FALLS FAMILY PIECE OF SHIT" he hissed "fucking you need to be taught a lesson" he spat grabbing his keys I felt the sting in my arm the blood pouring from the scratches off the guard I was chocking to death. But they soothed me somehow.

When the gate opened I grabbed his head twisting it hard until I heard that sharp crack kicking his body aside I stared at the guard who rushed in now standing motionless at the person on the ground.

"YOU FUCKING WHORE" he screamed charging at me weapon drawn stepping to the side he missed me but anger clouded his vision. Picking the torch up from the ground I threw it in his face "AHHH"

Just like that darkness swept in bending low I placed my hand on the wall using my back to go across the wall, the sound of his sword slicing through the air hit my ears. Gulping back I held my breath when I felt it the sword pierce my arm "GOT YOU DIDN'T I" he laughed.

Grabbing the sword I held onto the blade feeling it slice my hand once feeling his hand on the sword I grabbed it twisting it backwards behind his back the yelp escaped his lips the sword dropping with a clang to the ground "tell me little boy what were you going to do with me what type of lesson" I growled in his ear pulling his arm higher up his back my teeth grinding against each other "you fought for the wrong house and now you must die" I whispered picking up the sword I dug the blade into his back ap horrifying scream reached my ears but didn't last long. letting go he flopped to the ground like a fish out of water, dead.

"Lillian" turning to the voice I crouched like the caged women my breathing hard and fast I was staring at my so called best friend as he stared at me "time to go stop killing whitehills guards"

Standing to my full height I looked at him being able to see and glanced at the bodies behind me I didn't ever want to take a life but me or them I choose me I have to I'm a mother and my children need me.

Guards held crossbows at me as the gate was reopened again placing my hands together heavy chains brought them to my side my arm dripping with blood from where I was stabbed "get her bandaged up" Ramsay voice was kind but menacing at the same time "Ludd these dead soldier won't be the only thing dead if she tells me another hand been laid on her"

The tug of the chains made my feet move squinting my eyes as we walked further and further into daylight. Blinking away the pain it caused I took a deep breath nice cold fresh air made my heart pound strong and my lungs feel at home.

Turning my head I saw Ramsay staring at me "what?" I spat

"You still do that breath in thing"

"Yeah well been in a dungeon for gods knows how long" I snapped "Really not into the smell of decaying bodies and shit"

Ramsay nodded "I wouldn't be into that either but up you pop on the horse" he nodded to a horse he voice filled with humour.

"My hands"

"No I'm not that stupid you will remained chained until we arrive at winterfell I feel you won't try and escape when you find out what's there"

I frowned at him reading him like a book "who?" I spat angrily.

"My new wife" he laughed "now up you pop" red is all I felt all I could see as I glared at him. Ramsay guards grabbed me around the shoulder holding me tight as the other one picked me up. Swinging my leg around I sat upon the saddle my chains being passed to Ramsay "please stop frowning it's an unappealing look on you lilybug"

"I would like to say I give a fuck but I don't" I hissed my hand gripping the knob on the saddle.

"Hmm" Ramsay hugged his lips pressed together evil in his eyes "ya" he yelled kicking his horse I groaned as the chains tighten and my arm jarred quickly tapping on the horse it caught up to Ramsay the ache in my wrist still there but he just laughed.

Ramsay held up riding alongside of me "Lillian" his tone was soft no longer menacing "please don't make me mad I do not wish to hurt you"

I stared at him "you already have" I whispered in return.

"Nadine yes I am sorry but you need to move on" scoffing at his words my eyes turned to the road and he no longer rode beside me handing the chains to a guard who didn't bother to speak or annoy me.

The rest of the ride was filled with chatter and glances

but I just stared at the road ahead trying to keep my balance on this horse. It didn't take long until winterfell came into view every good memory was from here every happy moment here.

"Never thought I'd see you smile" Ramsay smirked

Turning to him "I will never smile for you" I hissed "never now whom is your wife there is only three women left in this world I care about so who is it" I hissed angrily.

Passing the gates Ramsay jumped off his horse coming to my side his hands snaked around my waist and he helped me off, every part of me wanted to vomit on him for touching me.

"Reek bring me my wife" he smiled down at this man bowing his head in fear, frowning I moved to look at him my eyes going wide.

Moving forward quickly I kicked him the force pushing him in the mud his blue eyes stared up at me pain and torture written in them "Traitorous pig" I hissed my chains now being held back stopping me from taking his life "they were boys and you killed them" I shook my head "Robb your brother betrayed...you're scum Theon" I hissed venom in my tone as I watched him scurry away "release release me right now" I demanded.

"Do not" turning I saw roose Bolton "Lady falls my deepest condolences to your sister" he nodded "your family were always so kind to our it's a shame such accident occurred"

"Is everyone here a traitorous spineless pig?" I questioned ignoring his apologies they meant nothing to me.

"LILLIAN-" stopping my glaring the voice I knew it and just like that my anger subsided and I looked at the lady in front of me red hair but her eyes filled with ageing.

"Ramsay let me loose let hug her please" I begged guilt dripping within me.

"Say hello and than take her to her chambers" Roose Bolton stated my shackles were released and I stared at my red head little sister. Gulping back the tears we ran for each other the snow slowing our run.

"I am so sorry" I whispered once my arms had wrapped around her tiny body.

"Shh the hound told me it's okay" she whispered In my ear "I'm sorry for being a spoilt brat and I'm sorry for everything that happened to you" Sansa whispered.

Shaking my head "don't be"

"That will do take her to her chambers" Roose yelled.

Hands grabbed me pulling me away I tried to fight them off but the shackles found my wrist so easily, pulling me away from Sansa I was dragged through the snow.

Releasing my shackles I was pushed in my chambers "please Lillian behave for your actions might hurt sansa"

"What?" I hissed angrily

Ramsay lips pressed together and the door slammed shut the sound of keys locking it. Taking a deep breath I walked to the open window looking down I realised where I was the old watch tower. Turning on my heels they had cleaned it up and it was nice but it was the only room and to get out without using the door was the window.

Leaning over I looked down, the door opened "very big jump milady" turning to the female voice I recognised her from before I left for kings landing "I'm Myranda. Ramsay sent me to bath you" her smile was creepy and evil.

I glanced at the tub near the fire place filled with hot water "I can bath myself" I hissed

"Please ma'am I don't want to make master angry" she smirked

"And if you appreciate your life I would suggest you fuck off"

The sound of her laugh made me angrier "Lillian I have heard of you so many stories" she smiled "the girl who saved her siblings, water that doesn't freeze I always wondered what that meant the waterfall that never froze"

I glanced at her "I can tell you if you like it means that no matter the weather the challenge we won't alter we won't change, our word is our word and we remain the same no matter the circumstances" I stared her dead in the eye

"Hmm" she nodded stepping closer "heard you were raped"

"Heard you wanted to die by my hands?" I questioned

She snorted "I don't see what Ramsay sees in you you're his favourite girl even after all this time he still wears that locket" my jaw slammed shut I had forgotten my mother had one made for him.

"I suggest you leave" I stated "you don't want to play with me"

Myranda laughed as she left the room the sound of the door locking behind her as she jumped down the stairs the sound echoing right to my chamber at least I would hear whomever comes up those stairs.

Walking to the window the snow was falling winter was defiantly on it's way like Ned had promised. The day grew to night and the stars sparkled and the moon shined down at me.

I hoped Brent, jaymie and the boys were safe hoped they looked up at the moon knowing I too were looking. I missed my family my heart ached to hold my boys.

The sound of knocking hit my ears and before I could say anything the door opened and there he stood "I brought you food"

"No thank you"

"You need to eat Lillian"

"No"

"Lillian"

"Ramsay"

"Please" he pushed the hot plate towards me "I heard you didn't want to bath"

I stared at Ramsay "if you love her I would suggest you keep her the fuck away from me because next time I will kill her and don't think I won't"

He jaw clenched his eyes filled with rage "you will not harm her"

Laughing "I will Ramsay god I will so I suggest you keep her away because trust me I swear it on my name I will kill her if she come near me or Sansa again" my eyes filled with rage.

Ramsay jaw tighten and the tray that held my food now laid on the floor as we stared at each other "I had warned you to behave or Sansa will get the punishment"

Shaking my head "and I warning you this you want to keep the girl you love" I stepped to him "than I suggest she stays clear of Sansa and myself"

I don't know how long we stared at each other "I will make reek bring you more food and you have my word she won't come near you"

"Good try to keep this promise yeah"

His jaw tighten his eyes squeezed together "goodnight Lillian"

Nodding I watched him leave my heart filled with hatred but a touch of love. This man had been my best friend growing up and than with a blink he grew up, we grew apart and he wasn't Ramsay I remembered he was a monster.

Turning away from the door I walked over to the bed and took a seat I felt like I had rolled in mud for two weeks straight every part of me was covered in dirt but I didn't want to move I didn't want to step into the cold bath and wash myself.

Throwing my head back I bounced on the bed my eyes looking up

 **LF - JS**

Turning I crawled over to the wall my hand going over the engraving. I had written this a long time ago. As much as I tried not to think of him tried to forget I couldn't.

"Jon if you hear me I need you, please Jon" I whispered "please save me from this hell and hold me tight" letting out a shaky breath I held back my walls that wanted to cave in.

 **Hi guys hope you enjoy again I haven't received my laptop back so it was done on my phone I don't want you guys missing out on updates. Please review it helps me write faster.**

 **Jeanette xx**


	34. Chapter 34

**Lillian POV**

Winterfell had changed it wasn't filled with laughter, loud noises and busy souls. It was cold and covered in cold thick layer of snow no one spoke kindly they grunted and swore. Whores from the brothel found themselves on once banned lands inside the keep. Screams ran through the night enough to make your skin crawl.

I wasn't allowed out of my chambers and no one came to bother me accept one young girl that ran my bath and left without a word. I had found myself pacing my room a lot, standing at the window I stared at yard, a place I once learnt to fight.

"Lillian you wanted to learn now come on" Lillian turned in her bed looking up at the person who took her in "time is ticking and if my wife finds out she kill me" Lord Eddard Stark laughed "come on"

Lillian didn't need to be told again, leaping from her bed she quickly changed behind the curtain and was out the door quicker than you could say go. She caught up to lord stark who was smiling as he jumped into the training ring.

"Morning Lady Falls"

"Good morning Rodrik" Lillian smiled

The morning was spent training Lillian it didn't take long for her to catch on and both Rodrik and Eddard made a promise to Lillian that they would train her everyday and everyday they did. Same time in the morning Lillian became fierce and stronger.

The sound of feet hit my ears turning sharply the door unlocked and I stared at Ramsay "would you like to come to dinner?" He asked hope in his voice.

"No"

Ramsay lip twitched "Lillian"

"Why?" I questioned

"Because you have hardly eaten, you pace up here back and forth and you've had four weapons removed already" he stared at me his eyebrows raised.

"And?"

"Just come eat Sansa will be there" hearing her name made me want to go. Inhaling I nodded and he moved aside. When I was in the dinning hall memories flew into my mind all the laughs and fun times and it was replaced with coldness.

"Where is Sansa?" I questioned taking my seat, Ramsay sitting in front of me his crooked evil smile "Ramsay"

"She is fine I wanted to have dinner with you" he pointed "for old time sakes you know, I do miss my best friend and Myranda wants me to end you, but I won't"

"You mean the twisted Whore you sleep with?"

"No not Sansa that's my wife"

My jaw clenched together "of course you raped her"

"Ah ah ah not rape made passionate love"

"You wouldn't know what love is Ramsay you don't have any love within you what so ever, you're cold and pathetic"

"I love you don't I"

"Do you?" I questioned

"I have loved you since we were kids not in that way but don't you dare question my loyalty and love again Lillian Falls"

Scoffing "your whole personality is questionable Ramsay Snow"

"Bolton"

Rolling my eyes "you're a bastard you always will be"

Silence filled the air Ramsay blue eyes pierced into mine "eat"I stared at the food my stomach growled but I didn't come here to eat I came here to check on Sansa "your mother gave me this Locket" looking up at the Locket around his neck "she swore the falls will always be there for me that we were family"

"She probably said that before you slit her baby daughter throat" my cold eyes glared at him "tragedies change people state of mind, death is coming for you Ramsay, it won't be pretty, people will fall but by end you will take your last breath and when the old gods come for you hope they're as evil as you were to people surrounding you"

His eyes closed "I am losing my temper with you" he grunted through gritted teeth "I will not lose I will not-"

"You will not win and you want to know why because no one will ever follow a traitor and that is what your family is, your father a pig, traitorous pig who killed Lady stark a women who raised me when she never had too and plunged a dagger in Lord Eddard first born son, my brother and best friend. The North my be afraid of you but let me remind you having Sansa as your wife won't guarantee you anything. Starks are out there and whilst there is a stark your rule to winterfell will be nothing, 1000 years of loyalty doesn't change because your father has declared himself warden of the north"

"Lillian" his voice was filled with warning but I didn't care I had to get it out.

"Your father is a spineless traitorous pig who will forever belittle you and treat you like a bastard and regardless of you having fantastic horrible war plans, he will never choose you. He will never choose his bastard son" I spat angrily.

His hand slammed on the table standing up the table rocked and his eyes were filled with pain "GO BEFORE I DO SOMETHING I REGRET GUARDS TAKE HER TO HER CHAMBERS" laughing I stood the guard letting me walk without his grubby hands gripping at me.

….

Commotion was surrounding the keep frowning I looked out the window my eyes wide as the scene in front of me occurred. Banners of Stannis Baratheon began to fall. Looking out the window it was now or never.

Gripping the outside window I began climbing down the watch tower. Around the side and onto the walk way. Keeping my head down low my body stopped dead in it's track and I gripped the person I had ran into "Sansa"

"We have to-"

"Agreed" turning Sansa walked in front of me looking at the wall I saw the bow gripping it I grabbed a few arrows. The sound of Sansa gasping stopped me in the shadows.

"My lady I am here to escort you back to your chamber"

"Go with her please" theon begged

Biting the inside of my gums. I loaded my bow holding it ready for use "I know what Ramsay is, I know what he'll do to me, if I'm going to die, let it happen why there some of me left" Sansa words pierced my heart.

"Dying? Who said anything about dying" the sound of her arrow getting disarmed from its nock gave me the advantage I needed "your father was warden of the north, Ramsay needs you but I suppose he doesn't need all of you…just the parts to my his heir a boy or two and his finished using them, then his got his got incredible plans for those parts" the sound of her rearming herself hit me ear. Stepping out I released my arrow and watched it go through the air and right into her chest.

"I warned you" I hissed.

Theon stared at me nodding he grabbed her throwing her over the ledge, looking down her hear smashed on the ground, horn sounding caused the three of us to jump "his coming back" theon gasped.

Gripping Sansa hand I grabbed theon and we began to run, Theon pulled up to the wall. Looking down I nodded gripping hands one more time we leaped off the tall wall. The sick feeling filled my stomach,, than I felt it the rush of pain shooting up my legs.

"Move it" I hissed

Theon helped Sansa up and we began to run through the thick snow. My feet began to get wet the coat I wore was not for winter so the cold winter air nipped at my skin. Pressing my lips together I kept my mind on one thing keep moving, save Sansa keep moving.

"You're freezing" Theon muttered beside me

"I am fine" nodding my head we kept moving

My eyes went wide at the sound of barking "it's the only way" theon whispered.

"I can't" Sansa gasped taking her foot out of the frozen river we had to get across.

"The hounds"

"This cold I can't I will die" Sansa stuttered

"I've seen what these hounds do to a person this way is better" Theon begged.

Looking behind me the barks got louder "go both of you now I will lead them away and stop them. Both of you go and Theon don't betray us" I stared at him "go"

"Lily"

"GO" I yelled

I watched them emerge them self in waist high water and trudge through the cold water and onto the other side "Lillian" Sansa begged.

"Go"

Theon grinned Sansa hand pulling her along and out of sight. It didn't take long until the guards were in front of me "where is lady Sansa"

Smiling "she went the other way, funny how misdirection works"

"Ramsay wants you back"

"Why?"

"He said to bring you back and he wants his wife"

"Well you've come the wrong way silly silly"

"We found you" one guard spits

"So you did" I laugh

The guard approached me and I didn't struggle I didn't allow fight I admitted to defeat. The hounds barked at me feet like crazy and the tug occurred.

I refused to look back watching ahead they said nothing as they dragged me to winterfell. Ramsay eyes were like ice when he seen me walk in the gate, him knelt over his beloved Whore body.

Smirking his eyes turned dark "chamber" he growled and off I was to the watch tower again. My heart beating rapidly as they released the shackles, going to the fire once the door was shut I began warming my hands my whole body praising the warmth that licked at my skin.

 **Jon POV**

"Open the gate" frowning I walked to the window and stared at the gate as it opened. Giant women was the first thing I seen riding forward into the yard but my eyes fell off her when I seen that red hair.

Walking out of the chamber I stood and stared it could be it couldn't. I watch the red head turn and my eyes widen taking the steps down to the yard slowly my mind still in shock.

Stopping just before her I couldn't believe it she was grown, no longer s little girl I remember seeing last. Sansa ran to me her arms wrapping around me tightly and I held her with everything I had.

"Sansa" I whispered into her ear gripping my sister tighter than ever.

Wrapping my arms around Sansa I guided her to my chambers. We sat by the fire a blanket strapped over Sansa and a bowl placed to her lips. She no longer looked as if she was ready to freeze to death. I wanted to ask, ask about all of them. Especially Lillian.

"This I good soup. Do you remember those kidney pies old nan used to make?"

I smiled "with the peas and onions?"

"Hmm"

"We never should have left winterfell" I signed

"Don't you wish we could go back to the day we left? I want to scream st myself, "don't go, you idiot"

"How could we know?"

"I spent a lot of time thinking about what an ass I was to you. I wish I could change everything" I looked at Sansa.

"We were children"

"I was awful, just admit it" Sansa laughed

Chucking "you were occasionally awful. I'm sure I can't have been great fun. Always sulking in the corner while the rest of you played"

"Can you forgive me?" Sansa asked

"There's nothing to forgive" I shook my head

Sansa laughed "forgive me"

"Alright alright. I forgive you" we both laughed and than Sansa hand goes out towards me raising an eye brow she wanted me ale. Giving in to her she sips and begins coughing instantly and I couldn't help but laugh.

"You'd think after thousands of years, the nights watch would have learned how to make a good ale" I admitted it was horrible but kept you warm and the demons away.

"Where will you go?" Sansa asked

"Where will we go? If I don't watch over you, fathers ghost will come back and murder me" I smirked

"Where will we go?" she asked

"I can't stay here, not after what happened" I shook my head

"There's only one place we can go. Home"

Shaking my head "should we tell the biltong to pack up and leave?" I questioned.

"We'll take it back from them"

"I don't have an army"

"How many wilding did you save?"

"They didn't come here to serve me"

"They owe you their lives"

Sansa stands and walks to the table, placing her bowl down "you think they'll be safe here if Roosevelt Bolton remains Warden of the North?"

Rubbing my face "Sansa"

"Winterfell is our home. It's ours and Arya's and Bran's and Rickon's, wherever they are, it belongs to our family. We have to fight for it"

I looked at Sansa "I'm tired of fighting" standing I'm face to face with Sansa "it's all I've done since I left home. I've killed brother of the night watch. I've killed wildings, I've killed men that I admire. I hanged a boy younger than Bran. I fought and I lost"

"If we don't take back the North, we'll never be safe. I want you to help me. But I'll do it myself if I have to"

I stared at my sister the question itched on my tongue but it didn't come out off my mouth. Signing I walked out of the room leaving Sansa and walking out into the cold night air feeling it nip at my skin. Looking up at the moon I wondered if she was looking to.

 **Please review**

 **Jeanette xx**


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